The team infiltrates Jast Reclamation, and comes face-to-someone-else's-face with the man himself.
Support the show at http://patreon.com/funcityventures
Go see Sam's band Cuneiform do a costume performance as Nine Inch Nails on October 30th at Rose Gold in Brooklyn: https://www.facebook.com/events/1194994374031946/?notif_t=plan_user_joined¬if_id=1570622549731930
@funcityventures is the show
@bijanstephen is TK
@randwiches is Viv
@nguersh is Luxe
and @shodell is Lash
@taylordotbiz is the bad boys and
@mikerugnetta is everything else
Recorded at Fortunate Horse in Greenpoint BK
Produced, edited and sound designed by Mike Rugnetta
Our music is by Sam Tyndall - http://cuneiform.xyz
Our art is by Tess Stone - http://notdrunkenough.com/
Our Discord mods are Olivia Gulin, Kestrel and Kit.
CC-BY Licensed SFX used in this episode
This transcript was exported on Oct 28, 2019 - view latest version here.
Speaker 1:In the early 21st century magic reawakened on Earth, and alongside it a new humanrace with orks, elves, trolls, dwarfs, and others. Humanity became metahumanity.As technology proliferated and greatly advanced in the awakened world, globalmegacorporations seized ever more power, becoming de facto states with theirown laws, courts, and armed forces. The corporations attempt to control allaspects of modern life.
Speaker 1:This has led to a vast and complex criminal underground, which works for and againstcorporate interests. The independent career criminals who do what others can't orwon't are called shadowrunners. The year is 2101. Welcome to Fun City.
Michael (GM):Previously on Fun City the team was hired by an ultra rich Johnson named Yuri tosteal a boat from Jast Reclamation, owned and operated by Jast Columnar, thepowerful dark mage and weapons dealer who allegedly runs a secret operationfor producing [orakelcum 00:01:21], a powerful and valuable magic substance.The team accosted Balto [Cuttle 00:01:28], Jast's suggestible head of security.After clam flipping him and smooching his wife, the team learns that Jast awaitstheir arrival. Luxe's plan is to infiltrate Jast and do some recon disguised as Balto.
Michael (GM):We join the team now around sunset of the next day on the houseboat Mirage asthey get ready to infiltrate the scrapyard and steal back Yuri's boat. Viv ispreparing for their long and likely harrowing night by summoning a water spirit.Oh, and Lash caught a cold. Get well soon, Lash.
Jenn (Viv):So Viv has been standing on the edge of the houseboat, summoning to the sea becausethe sea is her mentor spirit. The water starts to churn lightly, and out of it comes atiny wave that starts to look like the shape of a woman with real long hair, andher rippling hair covers her nether parts.
Michael (GM):It's the Venus.
Jenn (Viv):Yeah. She's a water Venus. Or more historically known as a... Is it undine or undine?It's a class of mermaid.
Jenn (Viv):An undine. Yeah. There we go. So she's a female water spirit who is obsessed withmarriage.
Michael (GM):She immediately eyes TK.
Jenn (Viv):Not now.
Bijan (TK):He's not not into it.
Jenn (Viv):I've summoned the water spirit and she will be with us today.
Michael (GM):What does that mean? And what can the spirit do?
Jenn (Viv):There's astro combat. There's perception, unarmed combat, concealment, confusion,which may help you.
Shannon (Lash):Confusion is interesting.
Jenn (Viv):Engulf. So she can use a wave to cover somebody. Materialization, movement, sapientsearch. And the optional powers, we can choose from these later, but accident,elemental attack, guard, and weather control.
Bijan (TK):Weather control could be tight.
Shannon (Lash):Is confusion on a target or on an area?
Jenn (Viv):I believe it's on a single target, but we can check.
Shannon (Lash):Because I'm just thinking everyone's going to have a gun in there.
Shannon (Lash):We have to do our best-
Nick (Luxe):Except for the dark mage who has demons.
Bijan (TK):Yeah. Yeah. For-
Shannon (Lash):So we have to do our best to-
Nick (Luxe):And a hell hound.
Shannon (Lash):... protect ourselves, and I think yeah. Something with a large area, like thewhole watch deck, we got to just like take care of them immediately once we getin.
Jenn (Viv):Well, we have seven services.
Michael (GM):And just to give you a sense of what a service is, it's like you can give it a... sinceit's a sapient, you can basically say, "You have this goal," and then it will worktowards that goal kind of by itself. Also, one entire fight, like from going intoinitiative to going out of initiative is counted as a service.
Jenn (Viv):One service.
Shannon (Lash):Oh, wow.
Bijan (TK):Can a spirit die? What happens to it?
Shannon (Lash):Yeah, it can be damaged astrally.
Michael (GM):And it can be banished. Someone else can be like, "Aha, I see you have brought aspirit to this fight. I banish it."
Shannon (Lash):Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Michael (GM):Is there anything else that anybody wants to do before we leave?
Shannon (Lash):I put on my chameleon suit.
Michael (GM):And what is a chameleon suit?
Shannon (Lash):A chameleon suit is, as I think of it, is like a jumpsuit. It's like a zipper-up, tightjumpsuit. Think Britney Spears in Oops!... I Did It Again, except instead of beingred and gorgeous, you just... it blends into the background. It kind of reads thebackground and depicts whatever the background is so you look invisible.
Michael (GM):It's kind of like what Predator wears, right?
Taylor:Oh, imagine an animal that eats other animals.
Shannon (Lash):Yes. It's like Britney meets Predator is how I would pitch it.
Michael (GM):Is that also... That might be how I would pitch Lash.
Shannon (Lash):Yeah, maybe.
Michael (GM):I'm not alone here, right? Predator? Predator.
Nick (Luxe):Hey, all right. We're just not talking because we don't want to talk over each other.
Michael (GM):All right. Cool.
Jenn (Viv):I think I want to materialize my spirit first.
Shannon (Lash):Ooh. Yes.
Jenn (Viv):Which means for it to be able to touch the real world and affect anything, it needs tofirst materialize from the astro plane. And so that is spending one service of theseven, materialization. So all Viv does is touch her hands to her temples and thewater spirit sort of raises its arms up. She can see it already, but it becomesvisible to everyone else.
Jenn (Viv):So as the water spirit becomes visible to everyone else, they see this woman shapewith long hair, not really wearing any clothing but because the water is runningdownward because gravity is now taking over, and she has sort of sweeping armsthat she just sort of keeps floating above the water as if she's trying to tread theair. And the water spirit leans down to TK in a flirtatious manner.
Bijan (TK):He says, "Hey. How you doing?"
Jenn (Viv):She giggles. And Viv just shakes her head like-
Bijan (TK):He gives a thumbs up. He's like-
Bijan (TK):... just daring anyone else to just say fuck with it. Oh yeah. TK's just thinking like,"Yeah, we're going to do some good fights, me and this whatever, water lady."
Michael (GM):She got a name though?
Jenn (Viv):Oh, she doesn't have a name.
Michael (GM):Should we come up with one right now?
Bijan (TK):I was going to say, TK strokes his chin and thinks about it.
Michael (GM):We can go to the fantasy name generator. So, here. I'm going to read some. This isfrom the harpy name generator.
Michael (GM):[Nirellis 00:07:02], [Voliara 00:07:02], [Cyleaf 00:07:02]-
Bijan (TK):These sound complicated.
Michael (GM):[Typheen 00:07:08].
Jenn (Viv):Ooh. Typheen. Kind of sounds like typhoon.
Michael (GM):There's also-
Michael (GM):... [Mession 00:07:13].
Bijan (TK):These are just Pokemon names.
Jenn (Viv):Pokemon names.
Michael (GM):Or French composers.
Nick (Luxe):Wait. So water spirit is just a Pokemon for a magician.
Michael (GM):She just caught it out of the water, dude.
Nick (Luxe):It is neither in her pocket nor a monster.
Michael (GM):Also I think probably you would be dissuaded from catching them all.
Taylor:Where are you going to put them?
Bijan (TK):Much to think about.
Nick (Luxe):Will Typheen listen when other people tell her or ask her to do things, or is it justViv?
Jenn (Viv):No. No, just Viv.
Michael (GM):Are we good? Anything else?
Michael (GM):Gabe is ready to take you off if you guys are ready to go.
Taylor (Nike):We should do it.
Michael (GM):The four of you along with your spirit make your way south towards the bottom ofthe Brooklyn Archipelago back towards Sheepshead Bay and Jast Reclamation.The sun is just about setting. You're going to get there just before the last bargesmake their way into Jast to drop off all of the metal that needs to be reclaimed.
Michael (GM):As you are making your way towards Sheepshead Bay, you sort of start to see like,like Gabe kind of struggles a little bit, and he sort of furrows his brow, and youstart to hear this sound of water rushing underneath you. You can see that he'skind of putting the pedal to the metal and it's almost like there is something thatis stopping the skimmer from progressing, and it is at this point that you seeactually another humanoid figure slowly start to raise out of the waters of theBrooklyn Archipelago. And this is a much more diaphanous shape. It is justbarely a human shape. Viv, you would immediately recognize this as your mentorspirit.
Jenn (Viv):It is my mentor spirit.
Michael (GM):And there's like a kind of pervasive yet whispery voice. And you hear...
Mentor Spirit:Vivian, you called. You have called the spirits of the sea. Until the hour [inaudible00:09:11]."
Jenn (Viv):Viv doesn't really wince very often, but at this moment she is because, to summon thewater spirit in the beginning she needed to call upon her mentor spirit to help her.And what she sometimes forgets is that the sea is a jealous creature and she isalso a taxing creature. She wants something in return most of the time, so everytime Viv summons any water spirits, the sea will require something back.
Michael (GM):Your mentor spirit continues.
Mentor Spirit:As your tax is [inaudible 00:09:52], I will request no others as you [inaudible00:10:00]. Let it be known if you are successful, I expect [inaudible 00:10:07]. Isthis understood?
Jenn (Viv):Viv puffs up her chest a little bit and goes, "Yes, mother."
Michael (GM):Silently the figure completely dissipates into mist. And suddenly, the skimmer canprogress again.
Jenn (Viv):Viv never usually loses her cool, but she's kind of bent over and holding her knees andbreathing very slowly.
Shannon (Lash):Lash looks over a Viv and says, "Don't worry. I got weird stuff with my momtoo." I haven't visited in a while, and she's like, "Why can't you come back justfor Thanksgiving?" And I'm like, "It's a long drive to Connecticut."
Nick (Luxe):Lash, I don't think that's the same thing.
Shannon (Lash):Believe me. You wouldn't get it. You're not a woman with their mom. It's a thing.
Bijan (TK):TK says, "Another water babe?"
Nick (Luxe):Viv, what is benefaction, and is she going to require something from all of us?
Jenn (Viv):No. It is only I who may have it. I may or may not need to give something back to thesea.
Michael (GM):That's something to think about while you are completing your mission is that ifyou are successful and you do end up having to pay some alms as it were, yourmentor spirit is going to expect something that is almost like a trophy orsomething of this-
Jenn (Viv):Or a charity.
Michael (GM):Or charity, yeah. I'll let you decide what you think is appropriate.
Michael (GM):So as you guys approach Jast Reclamation, you do see under the golden sun andthe quieting parade of barges that go through there every day, there are a few left.There's two in line to enter, and there's two more you can just barely make outthat are having their haul removed on these big cranes that are under Jast. Yousee as the light is dimming in the sky the large sets of overhead LED lights thatare in the cage that covers Jast blink on in order to cover the territory so that thepeople who work there can see, and the people who guard it at night havevisibility. Let me know what you want to do.
Nick (Luxe):I'm going to go in, guys. As Balto, I'm going to see if I can get in, get a lay of theland. I'm going to specifically try to make sure that I could open the gates andkeep it open for when I get the signal from you that the boat is ready to go. Whatare you guys going to be doing?
Jenn (Viv):We still have to figure out which boat it is.
Bijan (TK):Yeah, I think... Can we take our skimmer in, or should we just leave Gabe at theentrance?
Michael (GM):You are going to need Gabe to drive the boat. Unless you say otherwise, I think hewould just follow you in when you enter as a group however you do that. Butthat's your plan to put together. He will be able to have the skimmer pilot itself toa safe location if you do end up moving from one boat to another.
Shannon (Lash):I think once we get in we should, either TK or Lash should work on goingsomewhere where we think security is headquartered, and erasing us fromsecurity footage, things like that.
Bijan (TK):Do some hacking.
Jenn (Viv):Viv will follow along for protection-
Jenn (Viv):... and concealment.
Nick (Luxe):All right, guys. See you on that big ass boat, whichever one it is.
Shannon (Lash):Whichever one it is.
Bijan (TK):Whichever one it is.
Michael (GM):Luxe, you get on your jet ski and you head towards Jast Reclamation, and whatyou see is... you have a couple barges in front of you that are being pushed bytugs, and they're sort of being let in one by one through the security gate. There'sno additional entrance so it's big enough that if you want to just try to scoot inalongside, you can see a line of other employee jet skis sort of lined up to the left,past where the entrance is. So it seems like they just go in through the front doorif that's what you want to do.
Nick (Luxe):I'm just going to take my jet ski in the front door and I am going to try to docksomewhere close to where I believe the building is that it controls gate openingand closing. It seems like there was a building mentioned that was sort of to theright of the main entranceway and I might just kind of walk around there a littlebit just to get a lay of the number of guards, stuff like that, things to relay to theteam.
Michael (GM):So, when you get in the first thing that you're surprised by is just how bad JastReclamation smells. Once you get closer and closer and then once you're inside,it's just this smell of metal and rust, and it's just dirty, and you can smell fire, andyou can smell like all of the world's materials being burned in this sort of hellishmishmash. And it's actually like a little overwhelming at first.
Michael (GM):As you get off your jet ski and you walk around you do see a couple guards.They're not paying you any mind. From this distance, they're not going toquestion that you are Balto. You're not raising any suspicion.
Michael (GM):You do see huge piles of metal that seem like they've been pulled off of thesebarges by this giant crane. It's like this kind of huge arm, huge like grabby handthat's just grabbing stuff off of these barges, putting it into the side of Jast, andthere's also a... you can see a warehouse that's missing a roof, and from there youhear... it's machinery and it's-
Nick (Luxe):Like a foundry?
Michael (GM):Yeah. It's like a foundry. You hear mechanics, and you hear construction sounds,and you have this bright, bright orange glow.
Michael (GM):If you were to loop around to the other side of where you just arrived on theplatform, you would get to, there's like a guards' quarters that's a small, two-storybuilding that sort of stretches across the front and over the two entrances andexits. So there's maybe five or six different offices in this weird little buildingthat's pushed up against the front of Jast.
Nick (Luxe):I'm going to try to get into those offices. Before I do, I want to see if I could get tothe highest point in my general vicinity so that I can just pinpoint where I thinkguards are, things like that, just so I could quickly relay that to the team before Igo into the office.
Michael (GM):The highest point would be to go into the guardhouse.
Nick (Luxe):Into the guardhouse.
Michael (GM):Yeah. And on the top floor of it is where the catwalk that rings all of Jast is. Soyou could go in, you go into the guardhouse. You'd go up two floors, andbasically exit to the roof of this building to get to the catwalk.
Michael (GM):From where you are, you can see, including the guard that is in the guardhousewho has his feet up on the desk and looks like he's just reading something, youcan see four guards. And that's, there's one above him on the catwalk.
Nick (Luxe):Oh, I see.
Michael (GM):And there's two to the sides.
Nick (Luxe):So, I enter the building so that I can try to get up on top of the catwalk, and also justto double-check to see if anybody will pay me any mind if I go in this building.
Michael (GM):Taylor, do you want to be the... every guard?
Nick (Luxe):I look around the room. It appears there's just one guard sleeping. Am I missinganyone?
Michael (GM):No. There's no one else in this room. He sits in front of a very old terminal. Sothere is a computer there of some kind.
Nick (Luxe):Is there any obvious...
Bijan (TK):I think we got it.
Taylor (Nike):You sound like my wife.
Taylor (Nike):My wife.
Nick (Luxe):Is there any obvious buttons or anything that would be gate control?
Taylor (Nike):Yeah, there's a big button labeled "fucking gate control, dog." No. There's awhole... There's a giant multicolor panel full of levers and switches and buttons.
Bijan (TK):If you do want to see if we can hack it-
Nick (Luxe):Yeah. I'm just, I'll keep that in mind.
Michael (GM):You can... it is... There's a lot there, but I would say you could probably takeseveral minutes and figure it out. It's not rocket science, but it's not somethingthat you immediately grasp. It would take you some time.
Nick (Luxe):I will leave that for later and I'll continue.
Michael (GM):As you go up, it's a very sort of rickety metal staircase. It seems like it's beenwelded by the people who work here. And you come upon a very narrow andvery long enclosed hallway. You hear at one far end, it sounds like some peopleeating. It sounds like general clinking sounds and people talking. And at the otherend when you turn the other direction, you just see a couple closed doorways,and you have another set of stairs going up if you want to continue.
Nick (Luxe):Continue up the stairs.
Michael (GM):As you get upstairs, you sort of have to climb. The last part of it is a straight,vertical ladder, and as you get up, you are looking at the boots of an ork guard,who says to you-
Taylor (Nike):Oh, hey, Balto. What are you doing here?
Nick (Luxe):Hey, man. Sorry... I'm not feeling great. I left my meds somewhere around here. I'mlooking for them. You haven't seen any little orange bottle, have you?
Taylor (Nike):Little orange bottle? Shit, man. Anything we drop on the catwalk's going to falldown.
Nick (Luxe):I know. That's what I'm afraid of. All right. I'm just going to look around for it.
Taylor (Nike):You don't look good.
Nick (Luxe):I'll be all right. It's just, it's my stomach.
Taylor (Nike):Oh, you know what? If someone found like a little orange bottle full of pills, it'sprobably in the lost and found.
Nick (Luxe):I already checked there, but don't worry about it, man. I'm just going to tough it outif I can't them and get back on patrol. My wife's going to kill me. That stuff is notcheap. Okay. Anyway. I'm going to look over there-
Taylor (Nike):Do you mind if I ask, what kind of medicine are we talking about? We talkingabout the fun medicine?
Nick (Luxe):It's just for an ulcer, so yeah, I got it when I was 12, but welcome to being an ork,right?
Nick (Luxe):So I'm going to go check over in the corner. I was standing over there the other day.
Michael (GM):I'm not going to make you roll for it.
Bijan (TK):That was great.
Jenn (Viv):That was good.
Taylor (Nike):Well, all right. Yeah. Okay.
Nick (Luxe):So I kind of get away from him a little bit as far as I can on the catwalk just so hedoesn't ask me any personal questions that I can't know the answer to. And I lookout across the Jast Reclamation to get a quick headcount on guards to relay to theteam.
Michael (GM):So you see that there is one guard stationed at every side of Jast. So including theguy that you just talked to, there are three other guards, and then the one guardthat's asleep in the shelter below.
Nick (Luxe):And then the people eating.
Michael (GM):And then whoever's eating. Yeah.
Nick (Luxe):I do see that there's still one entrance and one exit that's a very large entrance andexit, but it's on that side that we're on, and there's other catwalks on either fourside of it of this very giant place that I could probably barely see the other sideof. Or is it-
Michael (GM):It's pretty far. You can see it, and you can see that there's a human figure, but yeah,it's a couple thousand yards.
Nick (Luxe):So there's a total of four awake guards with guns in their hands, and right now at JastReclamation.
Michael (GM):And you are currently standing with a guard that is directly above the entrance andthe exit.
Nick (Luxe):Well, I relay that to the team if it's safe to do that.
Michael (GM):I don't think, this guy doesn't hear. He's not, he's got his own thing going on. He'sjust looking out at the Archipelago.
Bijan (TK):Oh, copy. We're doing... TK's trying to do like an airplane pilot voice, and he drops itreally because he-
Nick (Luxe):Role performance.
Taylor (Nike):No. Keep doing it. Keep doing it.
Nick (Luxe):Keep doing it. Keep... Just do it.
Bijan (TK):We're doing okay over here. It's all quiet on this Western front.
Michael (Gabe):Gabe is stifling some laughter.
Nick (Luxe):That's pretty good, TK. Did you guys-
Bijan (TK):Did you like that? Did you-
Nick (Luxe):Oh yeah, yeah.
Bijan (TK):Are we relating?
Nick (Luxe):Yeah. You need to tell us the weather.
Nick (Luxe):It's... looking like it's... 65 degrees, and...
Bijan (TK):That ork is definitely looking at you weird though.
Nick (Luxe):Okay. Did you guys get on the scrap ship?
Michael (GM):You guys are probably at this point like maybe 100 feet from the scrap ship thatyou want to get on. You are looking at a medium-sized white tugboat that ispushing a large barge in front of it. And the barge is just covered in scrap metal,in like rusty, bent aluminum, steel, whatever. If you were to pull the skimmerdirectly up to the side of the barge, you would be able to get onto it with like a10-finger boost, but it would be hard for you to jump high enough to get to it.The tugboat that is pushing it is something that you could very easily board therear of, but of course there are people on it.
Nick (Luxe):Do we know how many people are on the tugboat?
Michael (GM):You can make out one.
Bijan (TK):I think we should stealth the tugboat, and then get Gabe to drive it.
Shannon (Lash):Do you want me to jump on the tugboat in my chameleon suit and then stab himwith a narcoject?
Jenn (Viv):Sounds good to me.
Shannon (Lash):Put him right to sleep?
Shannon (Lash):I can jump pretty high, but I can get onto the tugboat easily.
Bijan (TK):Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it.
Shannon (Lash):But is it going to be questionable that our skimmer's going really close to it?
Bijan (TK):Gabe, can you send the skimmer away?
Michael (Gabe):It would be very easy for us to go around to the back and if we're quiet enough,it's the last boat. It's getting dark.
Bijan (TK):Let's do it.
Michael (Gabe):We can do it. We can do it stealthy style. I'm not going to mess with stabbing orputting anyone to sleep, but if you can get rid of the captain, I can definitely driveit.
Bijan (TK):Yeah, let's do that. Let's-
Shannon (Lash):I'm just thinking if I want to narcoject him. I also have gammas scopolayamine.How would you say that?
Nick (Luxe):Scopo... Scopolamine.
Shannon (Lash):Yeah. Gamma scopolamine.
Michael (Gabe):Go with your heart.
Shannon (Lash):Because that stuff puts you to sleep. It causes delirium, paralysis. Maybe that'sthe one we want. I think let's go with that.
Bijan (TK):Yeah, let's do it. Let's just do, let's just do the sleepy thing.
Shannon (Lash):Yeah, let's-
Bijan (TK):Sleepy time. I give you some sleepy time T.
Nick (Luxe):[inaudible 00:23:37].
Shannon (Lash):Okay. Great. All right. I'm going to board that boat.
Bijan (TK):So we tell Luxe, so... It's really nice out here on the water. We're planning to heist atugboat.
Michael (Gabe):We're going to see how well Gabe does. He's got a bonus to anything involvingsneaking. Gabe actually gets a lot of bonuses. Okay, hold on.
Bijan (TK):Wait, so he's just hijacking this boat right now from our boat?
Michael (Gabe):What Gabe is trying to do is to expertly pilot the skimmer such that neither thesound of it nor the sight of it is ever directly in eye-line with the captain of thetugboat. And so he's trying to come around from the side and only juice themotor when there's other sounds happening, and reduce the wake so that there'sno bobbing up and down, and he's also just trying to angle the skimmer just in theright place behind this tugboat so that if the guy happens to look over hisshoulder, he doesn't see this big, loud fan-driven thing with couches strapped toit. And so, Gabe is going to do a... because I'm the DM and this is my PC, we'regoing to call this a difficult maneuver and a sneak test so that he gets a bunch ofbonuses.
Jenn (Viv):That's a lot of die.
Bijan (TK):Don't fuck this up.
Shannon (Lash):Going to glitch again?
Bijan (TK):Did you just glitch?
Michael (Gabe):No. Almost though, but he did manage to do it.
Michael (Gabe):Like the winds, Gabe very delicately-
Bijan (TK):Like the wind pushing our boat forward.
Michael (Gabe):... Gabe expertly nudges up against the back of this tugboat and does not alert thecaptain of it, and anyone who wants to, you have about a probably like 30-secondwindow to jump... to step gingerly onto the back of this boat.
Bijan (TK):TK hops on.
Shannon (Lash):I jump on.
Jenn (Viv):Viv follows but stays still, that her caftan is kind of flailing like a tiny flag on a boat.
Shannon (Lash):I immediately head for the driver's seat of the boat. What is that called?
Bijan (TK):The captain's chair.
Nick (Luxe):We talked about this last time. It was... Yuri was like cockpit? Cockpit?
Taylor (Yuri):Cockpit boat.
Nick (Luxe):Deck I believe is the...
Michael (GM):The bridge. The bridge.
Taylor (Yuri):[crosstalk] bridge. Bridge. Golden gate boat.
Shannon (Lash):The steering wheel of the boat. I immediately head for that.
Bijan (TK):Can I get my dummy thick joke out of way?
Michael (GM):Yes, please.
Bijan (TK):I just needed to say the phrase dummy thick before we did some sneaking just so theclap of our ass cheeks didn't alert the guards.
Nick (Luxe):Was that at risk?
Bijan (TK):TK's pretty thick, man.
Nick (Luxe):I guess that's true. I guess that's fair. All right.
Bijan (TK):He's got a beefy booty.
Michael (Gabe):Gabe also steps onto the tugboat, and you see him sort of fiddle with some of hisimplanted gear and the skimmer disappears into the sunset.
Jenn (Viv):The water spirit swims underneath the boat.
Michael (GM):This is a pretty old tugboat. It's in a pretty bad state of disrepair. It looks like it'sbeen very well used, but it's very clear from having seen the outside where youneed to go in order to get to the man that's driving it. There's not a lot on thetugboat itself. It's just your sort of standard nautical accoutrements. If you want alife saver, there's one hanging. There are some computer panels on some of thewalls. You don't really know immediately what they are, but if you look at them,if you look at their AR icons, it looks like it's navigation stuff.
Shannon (Lash):I tell Gabe, you got to take hold of this thing once I get in there. I whisper, "Youready?"
Michael (Gabe):You can tell just from looking at him that he's already sort of zoning out andtrying to figure out how to get access to this boat that's not his.
Bijan (TK):And TK sends a message to Luxe, "We're going in. Over and out."
Nick (Luxe):Let me know if you have any problems.
Michael (GM):So you are going to need to disrupt manual control in order for Gabe to take overbecause manual control will override what he's going to try to do remotely.
Shannon (Lash):Okay, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to stab him with what's also known asnightshade, so I'm going to say it's that. I stab him with the nightshade, and thenI'm going to immediately try to start hacking into this system to get out ofmanual.
Michael (GM):No. If he stops piloting it with his hands, then-
Shannon (Lash):Then it goes out.
Michael (GM):... the system knows, and then Gabe will be able to get in pretty quickly.
Shannon (Lash):Great. I'm just going to stab this then.
Michael (GM):So yeah. It's just an old human guy. He does not... He's like humming quietly tohimself and he does not see you coming.
Shannon (Lash):I stab him.
Bijan (TK):Where do you stab him?
Shannon (Lash):I stab him right in the neck, to a big, I can see a big vein coming out of his neckand I stab it right in there.
Shannon (Lash):To get it straight into the bloodstream.
Shannon (Lash):And stab.
Michael (GM):Just roll... What's your highest? Is agility high for you?
Michael (GM):Yeah. Just roll an agility for me just to make sure that you don't glitch.
Shannon (Lash):Would this be a sneaking skill?
Michael (GM):Yeah. Use it. Yeah.
Shannon (Lash):Okay. So it's eight.
Bijan (TK):Eight. Eight?
Michael (GM):Oh man. I think probably this very nice guy that's never done anything wrong isgoing down.
Bijan (TK):He's not going to die.
Michael (GM):That's true. He's just taking a little nap.
Shannon (Lash):He's just taking a nap. And then the next hour, it's truth serum. So he wakes upand then he's just whac-a-dude.
Michael (GM):Yeah. You got it.
Shannon (Lash):[inaudible 00:28:44].
Jenn (Viv):Wow. That was really-
Taylor (Nike):Was he a pelican? He squawked like a seabird.
Bijan (TK):He's got a squawk.
Shannon (Lash):I yell back to the team, "Okay. We're good in here. Let's drive this boat."
Michael (Gabe):Gabe comes in and he gestures at the body and says, "We should probably find aplace to hide that," and he... TK's like, just looks overboard and is like... We'll letyou decide what you want to do with the body you've just made, and yeah. Hepilots the boat. He does not indicate that there's any trouble, and the boatcontinues its forward movement without any problems.
Bijan (TK):I was going to say, is there like a lounge area that we can just, like on this boat? Isthere a room?
Nick (Luxe):We'll put him in the bathroom.
Shannon (Lash):I've also, I'm going to take his commlink because then... Am I able to access hiscommlink if I [inaudible] him? Could I see messages he's getting and stuff likethat?
Michael (GM):For this guy, yeah.
Shannon (Lash):Cool. I'm going to take that.
Bijan (TK):I pick up the body and put him in a sitting position on the nearest toilet.
Michael (GM):You successfully put an unconscious man in the head.
Shannon (Lash):And please lock that door.
Jenn (Viv):You can lock it from the inside.
Bijan (TK):TK just punches the lock and just breaks it, so-
Jenn (Viv):[inaudible 00:30:03]-
Bijan (TK):... he's stuck in there.
Michael (GM):We'll say that it's jammed closed. Sure. I'll allow it.
Michael (GM):Let's go back to Luxe.
Nick (Luxe):I need to get back down. On the way I decide maybe I'll see if I can figure out wherethe mage is. So I don't want to test my luck too much, but just as I pass the otherguard on the way back down the ladder, I decide, couldn't find it. Anyway, I thinkI may have dropped, like you said, I'll be seeing you. You haven't seen Columnar,have you?
Taylor (Nike):Say what?
Nick (Luxe):I don't want to be away from my post too long, but I do want to look for mymedicine. I don't want him to be-
Taylor (Nike):Yeah, I'll cover for you, man.
Nick (Luxe):Thanks, man. I really-
Taylor (Nike):I'll do whatever you want. I'll just say... I mean like, you know.
Nick (Luxe):I really appreciate it.
Taylor (Nike):It's okay to be sick sometimes. Nobody's healthy all the time. You never take a dayoff.
Nick (Luxe):Thanks for covering just in case... I think I may need to go-
Nick (Luxe):No, no. I don't need to go home. I may need to [crosstalk 00:30:56]-
Taylor (Nike):Drug store.
Nick (Luxe):No. I'll see you.
Michael (GM):Anyone nice [inaudible] by.
Taylor (Nike):Do you want me to call you a drone to take you home or something, man?
Nick (Luxe):No. I'm all right, man. I'm all right. I just-
Taylor (Nike):You don't look all right. Let me touch your forehead. You got a fever?
Nick (Luxe):No. I'm okay, dude. Don't, don't worry about-
Michael (GM):He reaches out towards your face and his hand is coming towards yourself.
Nick (Luxe):And I cough on his hand really hard?
Taylor (Nike):Oh, you know what? Oh, I can see it from here, man. You got tummy issues. I don'twant to catch it.
Michael (GM):He steps back a couple feet because yeah, as if to say, "Oh no. I don't need that."
Taylor (Nike):I'm not-
Nick (Luxe):I'm going to be okay, dude. Just don't worry about it, all right? I'll be seeing youaround. And I go down the ladder.
Michael (GM):It's the same. You can see a couple offices off to one side and you hear still somelight murmuring and eating sounds coming from the far end.
Nick (Luxe):I go back down to the room with the sleeping guard. I just kind of walk outside andthen I decide I'm going to go and try my hand at walking around, maybe getting aglimpse inside the foundry, see what I can see.
Michael (GM):As you walk away from the guards' tower, you see the second to last barge andtugboat leave Jast empty, and you see the last tugboat and barge slowly make itsway towards the entrance. As it crosses through the threshold, you do hear a loudalert bell ring as if to say, "There's someone here who needs help," and this is theboat that you all are on. So do you want to continue towards the smelter?
Nick (Luxe):I hear an alert bell that said, "This boat needs help." As an SOS, or is it just a... ?
Michael (GM):It's like alert. There's now, there is a new customer arrived. This boat is here, andeverybody-
Nick (Luxe):No, I don't want... If anything goes down, I want to be able to cover. Like if I walkback to the sleeping guard room, is he now awake because there was an alert?
Michael (Gabe):He has woken up and actually on the boat, Gabe gets a request on the heads-updisplay of the tugboat for the permission for dropping things off at Jast. And heturns to Lash, and he says, "commlink. I need the guy's commlink. I need it."
Shannon (Lash):Here you go. You just maybe, please.
Michael (Gabe):No time for please. And you see him sort of frantically, he thumbs through thisthing and you see some pairing happening with the boat, and you see somemessages fly off and go back and forth between him and the guy, and Gaberelaxes a little bit.
Nick (Luxe):I'm watching this whole process. I want to see what buttons he presses.
Michael (Gabe):It's very clear. A couple buttons to open up the first... there's a lock in theentryway that opens, and then as the last boat enters into Jast, you see him pushanother couple buttons to close the gate behind it, and the exit gate remains pen.
Nick (Luxe):All right.
Michael (Gabe):He then starts to push a couple buttons on the keypad in front of him, and the bigcrane that is across the way starts to operate and starts to unload all of the metalthat is on the barge that is here.
Nick (Luxe):Excellent. I think I've gotten what I needed from just seeing that process.
Michael (GM):Yeah. Since you have photographic memory, I'm going to say that it's you, youwould know how to close the gate. You would know how to start the sort of likegrabbing motion of the crane. You do not know how to... yeah.
Nick (Luxe):Operate the crane.
Michael (GM):I'm going to tell you what you don't know.
Nick (Luxe):So I leave and go check out the foundry.
Michael (GM):On the boat, you guys are inside Jast Reclamation. There's a bunch of metal beingloaded off of the barge that's in front of your tug. What do you want to do?
Jenn (Viv):It's sort of the perfect time to move because there's so much noise.
Shannon (Lash):Yeah. I say let's move, and we have no idea what boat it's on. I think we need tojust start figuring out one by one going on these boats.
Bijan (TK):But what's the-
Jenn (Viv):We should head toward the boats.
Bijan (TK):What's the closest boat?
Michael (GM):The closest boat... Hold on. Let me get up the list of boats.
Bijan (TK):Boat list. Boat list.
Taylor (Nike):Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list.
Bijan (TK):Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list.
Jenn (Viv):Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list.
Shannon (Lash):Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Boat list. Yay.
Taylor:We're about to do something that you've never done on the show before. Are you ready?
Michael:I am very ready.
Taylor:Do you know what it is?
Michael:I have a guess.
Taylor:Yes. We talked about it a little bit. Michael, this is our first ad
Michael:That is very exciting because it helps us continue to make the show.
Taylor:The show, which is definitely what we both are doing this for, so it's really, really, reallygood news. Should we do it?
Taylor:Should we open the door and welcome in the copy?
Michael:I imagine there is some copy to read.
Taylor:Here comes the copy.
Taylor:Michael, have you ever heard of Shaker & Spoon?
Michael:I have not heard of Shaker & Spoon.
Taylor:Until now, Shaker & Spoon is a subscription cocktail service. It's like Blue Apron. But forcocktails.
Michael:That's great. I am immediately on board.
Michael:What do you get in each box?
Taylor:Every month a box comes and there's enough stuff in there to make three different cocktailrecipes, 12 drinks total.
Taylor:Now you've got to supply the liquor. So whatever booze you've got at home-
Michael:Like if you had bourbon in your house, you have liquor, you have vodka or whatever-
Michael:... but they'll give you all the other stuff.
Taylor:All the other stuff, in the box, ready to go, 12 drinks, three different kinds so you're notstuck with 12 of the same thing.
Michael:And how much is this going to run me?
Taylor:Well, first of all, it's only $40 or $50 a month. And we have a deal.
Michael:Oh, this is a podcast. There's going to be a URL or a code or something-
Taylor:There is a URL, my friend, and it is shakerandspoon.com/funcity.
Michael:And how steep is this discount?
Taylor:The discount is substantial, my friend. $20 off.
Michael:That is a deal.
Taylor:It's a really good deal. This is a no brainer. Shakerandspoon.com/funcity.
Michael (GM):The boat that you are the closest to is the one that is rusted and has actually holesin the hull and is up in the dry dock. So that one is just amongst a pile of debristhat's probably like a couple hundred feet away from you further into Jast. Theone that is the next closest to that is the one that is covered in drunken animals.Even though it is the next closest, it's still pretty far. And the one that is thefurthest away is the one that's in the best condition, which is in sort of like theback left-hand corner in a sort of circuitous route around all of these piles ofgarbage and debris.
Jenn (Viv):I'm thinking the one with the holes isn't the boat because that's like-
Bijan (TK):Because it's got holes in it.
Jenn (Viv):It's got holes in it. I think the boat was stolen recently, so it probably... that doesn'tsound like an operable boat. So it's either the drunken animals or the other one. Isay let's start with the drunken animals one.
Jenn (Viv):It's still far away, but-
Nick (Luxe):Is it possible at this point to give... do a quick call to Yuri and ask him if he's gotpainted animals on his boat?
Michael (GM):You already had a conversation with him about which boat was his, and hisresponse was that, "I don't know, but it's definitely not the wooden one."
Nick (Luxe):Oh, right. That's right. He doesn't-
Michael (GM):He doesn't... He, it seems as though he has not seen this boat in quite a while.
Nick (Luxe):So he owns a boat. He's never necessarily been on it or seen it?
Michael (GM):You don't, you don't know. You don't know.
Nick (Luxe):Okay. We don't know. But we know it's not wood.
Michael (GM):And after probably about five or so minutes, the barge that you came in on ismaybe about like a quarter done being unloaded.
Bijan (TK):Oh, so we have a time limit? Okay. Cool.
Jenn (Viv):We start moving toward the boat-
Shannon (Lash):Yeah. Let's start moving... the animal boat.
Jenn (Viv):... that has animals on it.
Bijan (TK):Are we taking the tugboat?
Shannon (Lash):Taking the tugboat?
Bijan (TK):Because that's where we are, right? We're on the tugboat.
Shannon (Lash):Yeah. I think-
Jenn (Viv):Well, there's walkways, right?
Bijan (TK):Are there walkways?
Michael (GM):Jast is kind of like its own little archipelago. There are various little pathways thatare mostly flooded, but there are some islands here and there. You could walkfrom where you are. It would probably take about 10, 15 minutes just because ofhow difficult the terrain would be. You would get petty wet. It wouldn't be fun.You might have to do a little bit of wading here and there. But yeah, you couldget there.
Shannon (Lash):Yeah, because... would it be too suspicious for us to take the boat?
Bijan (TK):If we can walk, we should walk because that's less, as you said, less visible.
Jenn (Viv):Less visible. Yeah.
Michael (GM):To describe just the scene right now, the boat is being unloaded. This is the lastboat. The entryway gate has closed behind it. Most of the visibility that you haveinside Jast now is from those overhead lights, and all of you do know that there isa guard on every side of the perimeter.
Shannon (Lash):Let's sneak onto... Let's do our best sneaking and move onto this animal boatbecause I think would we could do is we could go into... we could kind of hackthe boat and maybe find out where the boat's been, and that's how we could figureout-
Shannon (Lash):... which one Yuri's is.
Michael (GM):TK also has some info about which one is likely Yuri's. So you can make aneducated guess once you're on the boat and you've accessed some of its, yeah,like internal data. You feel pretty confident that you know, you could figure outwhich one's which.
Bijan (TK):All right. Drunken animals. Let's go.
Michael (GM):So Luxe, you are in possession of the information as far as what the team's goingto do. What's your plan?
Nick (Luxe):I want to go check out the foundry, but I'm thinking there could be an opportunity toask one of the guards which boat came in last. Which of the big boats came inlast. That would be most likely the boat that would be Yuri's. I go back into theroom with the guy at the terminal, and I see if I can try my hand at seeing if Icould figure that out from him.
Michael (GM):He's sort of idly looking at the computer screen, sort of half operating it. It seemslike the crane thing kind of takes care of itself. It's like some rust-bucket AI thatjust kind of runs itself.
Taylor (Nike):Hey, what's up mother fucker?
Nick (Luxe):Hey, can you turn the lights on on that last boat, the big boat that we just got in? Canyou turn some spotlights on it? I think I heard a piece of scrap crack one of thewindows.
Taylor (Nike):Which boat are you in?
Nick (Luxe):The last one. The last one that we got in. That we-
Taylor (Nike):The last one.
Nick (Luxe):The last one.
Taylor (Nike):That's [Bain] number... Is that five? Are you on five?
Nick (Luxe):Yeah. Yeah. You just quickly turn the spotlight on it. I just want to double-check tomake sure that it wasn't damaged.
Taylor (Nike):Click. Click. Click. You hear the hum of big fluorescent lamps come on.
Nick (Luxe):And I look out and I see if I could see it from my vantage point. Can I?
Michael (GM):You want to know whether or not the lights have turned on on the drunkenanimals' boat?
Nick (Luxe):Or the other one. Which one... I just want to see, A, if I can see the boat that now haslights on it so that I could tell that to the team.
Michael (GM):I'm going to confer with the other half of the universe.
Michael (GM):Do we think that...
Taylor:I make turtles, and toothpicks, and time.
Michael (GM):You're so accomplished other half of the universe.
Taylor:I got all the Ts.
Michael (GM):I've only done escalators, the ocean, and fjords.
Taylor:I invented trimester, toucans.
Michael (GM):Oh, I love toucans.
Michael (GM):What's going on here? Is this, we think that there's... we have other distributedlights throughout the...
Taylor:I was reckoning that there are probably some floodlights on the general circuit.
Michael (GM):Got it.
Taylor:For when they have to do shit outside at night.
Michael (GM):And it's in a specific place. They're like light up-
Taylor:On posts. Yeah.
Michael (GM):... light up grids, whatever, like B9.
Taylor:Yeah, like big old floodlights on a post.
Michael (GM):Great. All right, cool. I just wanted to understand-
Nick (Luxe):Is that... Did I fuck up?
Michael (GM):No. That's fine. I just, I wanted to understand what you were imagining so that Idon't fuck you up.
Michael (GM):So yeah, what you see from your vantage point and what the rest of you sort ofhalf see from your obscured vantage points as you climb through the muck andthe metal of Jast Reclamation is in fact the boat that has the animals on it. It doeshave one very large, very bright tungsten-colored light shining on it.
Nick (Luxe):I peek my head back in the thing. I'm like, "Ah, nope. It's okay. You can turn it off.Thanks." And then I pop out of the room.
Michael (GM):I think he's a little suspicious about that.
Taylor (Nike):Looking for somebody?
Nick (Luxe):What's that?
Taylor (Nike):Are we looking for somebody out there? You see something out there?
Nick (Luxe):No, no. I heard a piece of metal-
Taylor (Nike):You feeling okay?
Nick (Luxe):No. I'm not. Yeah, I'm looking for medicine. If you see a little-
Taylor (Nike):You know what's going to happen if Jast... I mean-
Nick (Luxe):I know. I know. Do you know where he is? I don't want to-
Taylor (Nike):What time is it?
Nick (Luxe):It's, I think it's 7:35 or something.
Taylor (Nike):He's probably eating dinner.
Nick (Luxe):Where is he eating right now?
Taylor (Nike):Where he always eats.
Nick (Luxe):I thought he always eats in the same place too, but anyway. You don't know. Itdoesn't matter. I just don't want to piss him off, you know what I mean? Don'tworry about it, man. Go back to sleep.
Taylor (Nike):You go... Look. I've work double shifts for a week that you put me on-
Nick (Luxe):I didn't mean it.
Taylor (Nike):... and you're giving me smart ass lip-
Nick (Luxe):I didn't mean it.
Taylor (Nike):... about falling asleep when nothing's going on? It's 7:30 at night. I've beenworking here since 4:30 in the morning?
Nick (Luxe):I didn't mean it. I apologize. I am not feeling well. My stomach is really acting up. Ifyou see a little bottle, a little orange bottle that says Balto on it, please-
Taylor (Nike):Your medicine has your first name? Just your first name on it?
Nick (Luxe):It doesn't matter.
Taylor (Nike):Did you write it?
Nick (Luxe):No, I didn't write my name on it.
Taylor (Nike):Is it fun drugs?
Michael (GM):Balto, if you could... Balto/Luxe, if you could just please roll straight charisma,and I'm going to say that this is going to be contested by will plus logic.
Nick (Luxe):Will plus logic. Three.
Michael (GM):You have just barely come out in this contest, and the guard that you are talking tois irritated with you, but is going to take no drastic actions like speaking to theboss directly.
Nick (Luxe):All right man, I apologize. Excuse me.
Taylor (Nike):If you're sick you should go home.
Nick (Luxe):I'm fine. I'm fine. I just say through the door, and I walk away.
Shannon (Lash):He just leaves.
Taylor:Shouting through a door you just closed, "I'm fine."
Nick (Luxe):I'm fine. I'm fine.
Michael (GM):At this moment, the crane that is unloading the barge finishes its job and anotherhorn sounds, and then nothing happens because there's no one on that boat.
Nick (Luxe):I tell the team that the last boat that we got in is in fact the animal boat, meaning Ibelieve that it is most likely that is Yuri's boat.
Shannon (Lash):We say, "Cool." Okay. Well, let's just double-check that before we start trying tosteal this boat. I don't even know how we're going to steal this boat.
Nick (Luxe):Yes you do.
Michael (Gabe):Gabe is with you. Gabe is on your trail. He is-
Shannon (Lash):Yeah, I'm like-
Michael (Gabe):... quietly following along.
Shannon (Lash):I know that you've been telling me this guy Gabe's going to steal this boat, but Idon't know. It's pretty big.
Bijan (TK):Gabe, can you... Luxe, here, can you pilot the tugboat out... remotely?
Nick (Luxe):No. Hold on.
Bijan (TK):Because I just got an announcement that that boat is done being unloaded and it needsto leave or people are going to start getting suspicious.
Michael (GM):Those of you who are around him see him zone out, look into the distance for asecond, and his fingers twitch a little bit, and he's like, "No. I can't. I can't getback into it. I don't know, maybe it's the foundry or something. It's just the noiseis really, really high here, and getting wireless connection is really hard."
Jenn (Viv):If they search the boat, they'll find the guy.
Michael (GM):The guard that is guarding the front, the front guard... The guard that is guardingthe front, the front guard at the front of Jast-
Taylor:Is the guy on the catwalk?
Taylor:Or the guy in the control room?
Michael (GM):Yeah. So the guy in the control room starts shouting that the person who iscaptaining the tugboat needs to move the barge out.
Shannon (Lash):Maybe we commlink to Luxe and we say, "Hey, that guy's not going to be able todrive him out. Can you tell him you'll go take care of it?"
Shannon (Lash):"Maybe make a distraction?
Nick (Luxe):Yup. Luxe uses Balto's commlink to say to the guy at the terminal, "What the hell'sgoing on with the last tug?"
Taylor:How do you call the guy in the control room?
Michael (GM):I'm going to make you roll logic-
Nick (Luxe):Oh, right.
Michael (GM):... to say that maybe you got lucky and you could figure out what his name is.
Nick (Luxe):Oh, right. Maybe like if he's got a tag or something like that.
Nick (Luxe):Didn't Balto have a tag on? I think he did.
Michael (GM):I don't remember. I don't remember.
Nick (Luxe):Balto had a name tag on.
Michael (GM):Let's say you're going to roll logic, and that's going to basically determine that youwere able to put together enough incidental details that you can flip through thefew people that are in Balto's-
Nick (Luxe):I could say it to everyone. It can just be an open channel thing-
Michael (GM):The group chat?
Nick (Luxe):... to the group chat, like the team. I got one.
Taylor (Nike):You see five names that are aside from his family's names, the most recently calledor messaged. They are: Nike Bolton, Maria Filterbags, one word that just says"Prototype," [Kahlee] Hidalgo, and [Aninda] [Biggums 00:47:21].
Michael (GM):So Taylor, do you know which one-
Taylor (Nike):Uh-huh (affirmative).
Michael (GM):Okay. Great.
Nick (Luxe):Mm-hmm (affirmative). I didn't even check to see what the gender of is the person.So vague now. I'm looking back, I can't-
Nick (Luxe):Can I use my photographic memory to see what the general look of this person whowas at the terminal was?
Michael (GM):Yeah. The person codes as male.
Nick (Luxe):Okay. The person codes as male. Okay. So I just say-
Nick (Luxe):I just say-
Michael (GM):Aninda. Aninda Biggums.
Nick (Luxe):Guys, I don't know what the hell is going on with the... that... but I'm going to gocheck it out.
Taylor:You message everyone on that... You message all those five names?
Nick (Luxe):No. I just message Nike.
Taylor (Nike):You taking care of the tug. You doing tug?
Nick (Luxe):Yeah. I'm going to go check out the-
Taylor (Nike):Hey. I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier in the control room.
Nick (Luxe):I should apologize. You know what? I've been working you really hard and-
Taylor (Nike):Thank you for saying that.
Nick (Luxe):... it's been tough around here. We know that.
Taylor (Nike):Oh man. Preaching to the choir.
Nick (Luxe):But yeah, look, we'll have a drink after tonight, all right? Sometime later.
Taylor (Nike):You know I don't drink.
Nick (Luxe):I know you don't, but I meant kind of a tea, like making... My wife makes this teashe's got into. It's like... But anyway, I'm going to go... getting on the jet ski.
Michael (GM):So you're actually, you're pretty close. You could use the jet ski to get on thetugboat, but you could also just sort of jump from the side of where the docksare. But either way. You want to just get on the tugboat.
Nick (Luxe):Yeah. I'm going to get on the tugboat actually. Yeah. He's drunk again. Let me gethim up and get him some water. We'll get him out of here in no time. I say that onthe comm to Nike.
Taylor (Nike):Yeah. Whatever you want, boss.
Nick (Luxe):What I just feel like I've done is I bought some time. I'm not obviously going totouch this man who's under the effects of this drug that-
Michael (GM):You're going to have to... There's a strength test in here for you to even open thedoor that he's trapped behind.
Nick (Luxe):Oh, I don't want to touch him or do anything with him. I want to leave him passedout, and the thing I actually... Yeah. I'm just buying time for nobody else to comecheck out this tugboat is all I'm doing right now.
Michael (GM):Okay. Great. That's happening. As this has progressed, I'm going to say... caneverybody roll agility for me?
Nick (Luxe):Me too?
Michael (GM):Sorry, no. Just TK, Viv, and Lash.
Bijan (TK):My agility is three.
Jenn (Viv):I have three.
Shannon (Lash):And mine's six.
Michael (GM):I think most of you are going to be fine. I'm just trying to figure out whether or notyou have gotten to... Like whether or not the time works out.
Shannon (Lash):I've got two. Oh boy. What hit?
Michael (GM):I'm going to roll for Gabe just for fun. He's probably going to do all right. Yeah, hedoes fine. You all make it to the drunken animals' boat. And luckily there isactually a ladder that is slung over the side. It is in the water, so Jast is a very,very big place and it actually is in a channel that's wide enough to support onewhole 250-foot-long boat, so you guys have really... you've gone on a walk. Youhave crossed a lot of very dangerous material. You are all wet up to your armpits,and you're all kind of dirty and covered in rust, but you made it. And you're nowall on this boat.
Michael (GM):The boat has seen better days. It is very dirty on the inside. There is a really deepcollection of liquor bottles and fast food packets. There's even, you can see abunch of streamers and confetti everywhere. Everything is covered in a fine layerof dust and grime. You can see that there are party flags and posters up all overthe lace. It seems like this boat has done a tour of duty or two as a party boat.
Michael (Gabe):Gabriel doesn't say anything and just heads to the front, sort of instinctivelyheading towards where he thinks the control center will be.
Bijan (TK):TK follows and gets his deck ready.
Shannon (Lash):We also follow.
Jenn (Viv):Yeah. Viv follows last and the water spirit sort of is a trickle like at the entrance.
Bijan (TK):So I think what I'm going to do... Have we made it to the bridge yet?
Michael (Gabe):Yeah. As you all get your bearings on this boat, you see Gabriel pacing back andforth along a bunch of the hallways going in and out of rooms, opening up panelsthroughout the hallways. Pulls a little multitool out of his pocket and fiddles withsome things. You see some sparks fly here and there. He heads back up to thebridge and swears a little bit.
Bijan (TK):Gabriel, you never swear.
Michael (Gabe):Fuck. Hold on. Yeah. It's just, it's been sitting a little bit longer than I thought itwould. I need to fix one more thing and I think I know exactly where it is. Backat the front of Jast.
Taylor:Luxe, Balto's comm, in your ear, in your hand?
Nick (Luxe):In my ear.
Taylor:In your ear you feel it vibrate. There's an incoming call.
Nick (Luxe):I pick it up.
Taylor (Nike):Hey, Mr. Cuttle. I'm here with Mr. Columnar who has some questions he'd like meto ask you about the tugboat.
Taylor (Nike):You hear in his voice an extreme tension. And even through the line you can feel abassier, heavier presence in the room. Could be a larger person's breath. It couldbe just the feeling that's coming in the spaces between the words from NikeBolton.
Taylor (Nike):Mr. Columnar says that it's very unusual for this vendor to be inadequate in any...way and he'd like a report from you right now, Balto.
Nick (Luxe):Yeah. He's not feeling well. He's in the bathroom right now. I'm trying to get him outto get this old hunk of junk out of here.
Michael (GM):Since that is not technically a lie, I'm not going to make you roll for it.
Taylor (Nike):Mr. Columnar suggests that you pilot the tugboat to the predetermined space.
Nick (Luxe):You want me to do this guy's job for him?
Taylor (Nike):You hear Nike Bolton suck air through his teeth. Balto, you're on speaker rightnow. We can all hear you.
Nick (Luxe):Hey, Mr. Columnar. I apologize for this, but the only thing I'm worried about isliability here. If I pilot this guy's tugboat and hit something or get a ding in it, isthis guy going to sue us into the middle ages?
Michael (GM):Support us on Patreon to hear all of the background information on the legalsystem of New York in 2101 in the Shadowrun universe.
Michael (GM):Tugboat liability.
Taylor:Episode 48, tugboat liability maritime edition.
Michael (GM):In a previous game I made Taylor's character write emails.
Taylor:I had to write actual emails as the game. It was the most bitter I've ever been in a DM.
Taylor (Nike):There's a pause on the other end of the line. Luxe, you get the impression that thisis not usually how the conversation goes. And you hear from a little further backfrom whatever speaker Nike is using-
Nick (Luxe):I'm sorry.
Taylor (Nike):Balto, you there.
Nick (Luxe):I [inaudible 00:54:24]. I... maybe my com glitched. I could barely hear. What was it?
Taylor (Nike):Mr. Columnar wants you to return-
Taylor (Nike):... to the control room here.
Nick (Luxe):Will do. Do you want me to still take the tugboat out, sir?
Taylor (Nike):Balto? He's going out to meet you on the docks there.
Nick (Luxe):Okay. Did you get the feeling that he wanted me to still pilot the tugboat out, or justto-
Taylor (Nike):Buddy, good luck. And he hangs up.
Shannon (Lash):Oh my God. My God.
Bijan (TK):Oh, [inaudible 00:55:02].
Michael (GM):Back on the party barge, you see Gabriel do another round of whizzing around,and he actually spends a lot of his time in front of the heads-up display at thebridge of the boat. And after some wild gesticulating, sticking his whole uppertorso underneath a sort of cabinet with a bunch of wires sticking out of it, youhear the boat roar to life.
Bijan (TK):Do we even know if this is the right boat?
Jenn (Viv):Well, we can use computers now.
Michael (GM):Now it's on-
Nick (Luxe):Now it's on.
Michael (GM):... so you can check. When the boat comes on, it does start playing some partytechno.
Bijan (TK):Fuck, yeah.
Michael (GM):And you do actually hear, there's like a... the whole thing has been wired forsound, and you do actually hear an onboard AI say-
Taylor (AI 1):Well, howdy partners. Welcome to the party barge.
Jenn (Viv):Viv is horrified and puts her fingers in her ears.
Bijan (TK):TK's like, "Ah, I'm in the zone now." I think what I want to do is, we're trying tofigure out where it's been right? And presumably the boat doesn't want mefinding out where it's been. I'm going to try and mark this boat.
Michael (GM):In your heads-up display, looking around the boat on your AR, you see that thereare a bunch of animated, drunken animals that are plastered against all the walls.It's like the walls are covered in a really bad Adult Swim cartoon, and there's justall of these very inebriated cartoon animals around you, and everything is bubbleletters, and zebra patterns, and leopard patterns, and yeah. It really is-
Bijan (TK):Oh, I love that.
Michael (GM):It really is a party barge.
Bijan (TK):Big party barge. Okay.
Michael (GM):As you're getting your bearings, you hear the AI click on again, and it goes-
Taylor (AI 1):Whatever music you want to listen to, partner, you just let us know. You just speakinto a terminal, and we'll play your fav...
Michael (GM):Gabriel, pulling wires out of one of the panels, looking frustrated, and he adjusts adial that he's found, and he goes,
Taylor (AI 2):"Yar. Welcome to the party barge."
Michael (GM):He looks equally disgusted.
Bijan (TK):I like that he's changing the aesthetics.
Michael (GM):The lights also start slowing blinking on and off and changing color. I'm going toroll for the system right now.
Bijan (TK):Okay. Here we go.
Michael (GM):The sea of animated animals parts in front of you as you look through your ARinterface. And your one mark seems to have defeated all security, and this partybarge-
Taylor (AI 2):Is ready for you to party.
Bijan (TK):TK starts fist-pumping in time with the music.
Taylor (Nike):Change the avatar. Change the voice. Change the setting. Whatever it takes.
Bijan (TK):No, no, no. TK loves it.
Taylor (AI 2):No, no. Arrgh.
Bijan (TK):Oh, God.
Taylor (AI 2):I'm proud to let you pilot the party barge.
Bijan (TK):I look around and I say, "What? Looking for some booty."
Nick (Luxe):Oh, no.
Taylor (AI 2):You've come to the right place, matey.
Jenn (Viv):The water spirit heard it and just sort of starts floating outside the window looking forTK.
Michael (GM):Gabriel again pulls at some wires and turns a dial, and the voice goes-
Taylor (AI 3):Ah, [inaudible 00:58:30]. Welcome to the party barge.
Bijan (TK):I'm going to do a search to see where this boat has been.
Michael (GM):Do it up. Yeah, just roll it for me.
Bijan (TK):[inaudible] plus intuition. Okay, that is two hits. I'm going to say that's probably okay.
Michael (GM):You compare the manifests that you have and the journey documents that you'vescoured from public records with the locations that you find in the system of thisboat, and you are certain that this is Yuri's boat.
Bijan (TK):I radio-
Michael (GM):The voice goes-
Taylor (AI 3):[inaudible 00:59:09].
Bijan (TK):I'll radio Luxe and be like... Bird One to Bird Two, Bird One to Bird Two, come in.
Michael (GM):Cut back to... the entrance of Jast. Luxe, are you still on the tugboat?
Nick (Luxe):Yes, I am. I get back on my com and I tell Nike, "Tell Mr.-
Michael (GM):As you start to say this, a very large man comes into view.
Nick (Luxe):I run to the bathroom. Can the large man see me?
Michael (GM):I will-
Taylor:He can see the tugboat. He's standing on the dock.
Michael (GM):Do you want to describe what he looks like, Taylor?
Taylor:Jast Columnar. Six feet tall. Long, wavy, raven-black hair. He's wearing leather pants anda leather vest. His hands and forearms are scarred almost beyond recognition.Cuts and burns obscure all his original flesh. In the center of his chest, there is alarge, black tattoo of a pentagram covered in chthonic and hermitic sigils andsigns. He seems to have no implants. He carries no device except for a pair ofblack whole-eye contact lenses which he's wearing, and an enormous throwbackrevolver, and that's it.
Nick (Luxe):He sees me?
Nick (Luxe):I motion for him to come, and then I turn towards the bathroom, and I yell at thebathroom, "What are you doing? Put down that gun!" as to make it seem asthough the pilot of this... the captain of this ship has a gun. I then run towards thebathroom and open it.
Michael (GM):We got to... There's two tests in here. One, you're not going to know the result of.I'm just going to make you roll it. And then the other one you're going to knowthe result of. So the first is, just do a charisma. Or I guess a con?
Nick (Luxe):It could be a con.
Michael (GM):I guess a con.
Bijan (TK):One question I have is does he get our comm message-
Bijan (TK):... before this is happening?
Michael (GM):I'm going to say that he gets it right now. So he knows... I hear Bird One to BirdTwo, what did you say? [inaudible] you said. Okay.
Michael (GM):The next is you got to do a strength to open that door.
Bijan (TK):A two strength.
Nick (Luxe):Okay, so...
Bijan (TK):You can do it.
Nick (Luxe):Let's just hope I get a... hit, or not.
Michael (GM):And unfortunately-
Nick (Luxe):That is a... that is a-
Michael (GM):... you have glitched.
Nick (Luxe):... a glitch.
Bijan (TK):Oh, great.
Shannon (Lash):Oh my God.
Michael (GM):With the force of conviction that you summon from your deepest center, knowingthat this is going to be a tough challenge for you, you really lean into trying toopen this door because you know TK is strong. You know TK has got a realserious punch. You heard through the comm-
Nick (Luxe):Punch the door closed
Michael (GM):... punch the door closed. Trap the guy in here. So you really put everything youhave into trying to grab the smallest, little edge of door that's sticking out. Andyou wrench back, and it's just not enough. And your fingers slip off of the door,and you fall, and you hit your head on the wall behind you, and you feel fineexcept the mask that's enveloping your head-
Shannon (Lash):Oh no.
Michael (GM):... feels quite misshapen.
Shannon (Lash):Oh no.
Nick (Luxe):Oh, God.
Jenn (Viv):It's our first glitch.
Nick (Luxe):I feel up towards my head and I make a decision about whether or not this will workor not.
Michael (GM):You do not know. You can't tell.
Nick (Luxe):I cannot tell.
Nick (Luxe):At this point, I yell to Columnar, "He's got a... I think he's got a... He's got a poisonvial or an injection something. I don't know what he's done. He's locked himselfin the bathroom." I yell that out, and then I take off running through the back, justto get to the other side of the tugboat so that I can be on the opposite side of thetugboat from Columnar.
Michael (GM):So you are running towards the back of the tugboat, towards-
Nick (Luxe):I'm running towards the back of-
Michael (GM):... towards the gate, which is now closed.
Taylor:And the tugboat is moving or stationary?
Michael (GM):The tugboat is at the back of the barge, which it has pushed all the way into thesort of front area of Jast, which is a big, sort of open water zone. Luxe is towardsthe back of the tugboat. If he were to keep going further, he would be in thewater. He can see the closed razor wire gate that has just shut, and Jast-
Taylor (Jast):Is watching.
Michael (GM):... is watching from-
Taylor (Jast):The dock.
Michael (GM):From the dock at the centerpoint where the tugboat meets the barge.
Taylor (Jast):How far away is Jast on the dock from Luxe on the tugboat?
Michael (GM):You're like 30, 40 feet.
Taylor (Jast):30 or 40 feet?
Taylor (Jast):That's as close as... I'm very close then.
Michael (GM):You're pretty- yeah. Jast could jump from the dock onto the front of the tugboatand make it to the back of the tugboat in, if we were in combat, one turn.
Taylor (Jast):Jast calls out, "Mr. Cuttle. Mr. Cuttle, a word."
Nick (Luxe):Is there a fridge on the boat?
Taylor:I think there's one in the lounge.
Nick (Luxe):I go and check the fridge to see if there is a cream pie.
Taylor:Roll for cream pie. Roll for cream pie. Roll for cream pie.
Michael (GM):Here's what I will allow. Someone should go into the studio and get two D10s andif you roll 90 or higher-
Nick (Luxe):90 or higher.
Michael (GM):... we will say that there is some creamy dessert-
Nick (Luxe):There's a creamy dessert in the fridge.
Shannon (Lash):I'll get it.
Shannon (Lash):Two D10s you said?
Nick (Luxe):D10s or D20s?
Taylor:He said D10.
Nick (Luxe):It's one in 10.
Michael (GM):I guess it's true. It's one in 10.
Nick (Luxe):[crosstalk 01:05:13].
Michael (GM):Should we make it 95 instead?
Nick (Luxe):No, I-
Michael (GM):What are the chances?
Nick (Luxe):Your initial ruling sets precedent.
Nick (Luxe):In fairness, it doesn't have to be a cream pie. It could be anything that could covermy face.
Taylor:Yeah, a cheesecake. Yeah.
Bijan (TK):Jesus Christ.
Michael (GM):So if you-
Bijan (TK):This is the dumbest shit I've ever heard.
Michael (GM):Similar to that of one-
Taylor:This is the dumbest-
Michael (GM):Mrs. Doubtfire.
Shannon (Lash):Mrs. Doubtfire. [crosstalk 01:05:39].
Michael (GM):So roll-
Bijan (TK):What does a D10 even look like?
Jenn (Viv):I don't even know what it looks like.
Taylor:It's one of the ugliest dice.
Michael (GM):It's five on each side. See that orange one right there?
Michael (GM):No. The one behind it. That one. That's a D10. Roll a D10. Basically if you roll azero, then we're going to say that one, there's a lounge, two-
Nick (Luxe):These bigger boys have little fridges, at the very least.
Michael (GM):... two, there's a fridge in the lounge, and man, I really should have made this onein a hundred. And three, there's something in that fridge that is viscous enoughthat you can smear it on your face.
Taylor:Just say a pie, Mike.
Nick (Luxe):All right.
Taylor:Oh, it's a nine. So close.
Michael (GM):You do remember-
Taylor:Edge, edge, edge, edge.
Nick (Luxe):I can't burn an edge on a one in 10.
Michael (GM):You do remember seeing a refrigerator in the, like around the bridge. When you goand check it out, it's weird. There's just nuts in there.
Nick (Luxe):I can't cover my face in nuts.
Michael (GM):You are now also closer to Jast.
Taylor:You're going to have to confront him at some point.
Nick (Luxe):I know. I know that.
Taylor (Jast):Bird One. Bird Two.
Nick (Luxe):I don't know what my face looks like. I know there's no pie which would haveworked. I've done it 100 times. It always works. And I do decide that I couldcrush the nuts up and mix it with a little bit of water and make kind of a nutslurry, but that might take too long. So I don't know the condition of my mask. Iknow I bumped it hard, but I know that my disguises are pretty durable, so itfeels a little lumpy but orks are ugly. I have already made it known that I don'tfeel well. That could have produced some unsightliness to myself. So I go and Itake my chances talking to the big man.
Michael (GM):Also, just going to put it out there, orks are ugly, that's fucking racist.
Nick (Luxe):So I-
Bijan (TK):It's racist, baby.
Nick (Luxe):I didn't... I thought it was universal orks were ugly. Are they not? Can they bebeautiful?
Michael (GM):You've met Lash.
Nick (Luxe):Lash is hot.
Shannon (Lash):Yeah, Lash is clearly hot.
Michael (GM):We're distracting from the...
Nick (Luxe):Well, I know what Balto looks like. I guess I didn't mean to be orkist, or racist, orwhatever metahumanist. I apologize for that to everyone. I am going to go andspeak with the big guy and I'm going to start putting on my real sick face rightnow.
Michael (GM):I'm going to let Jast roll to recognize whether or not you are in fact Balto. Youroriginal level was five, correct?
Nick (Luxe):The disguise? Yes.
Michael (GM):Yeah. So you messed up your mask pretty good, and he's going to need to beattwo.
Nick (Luxe):How many dice are you rolling?
Shannon (Lash):Seems like a lot.
Nick (Luxe):A lot.
Shannon (Lash):He's going to really recognize it.
Michael (GM):It would be putting it lightly to say that to Jast Columnar, Balto Cuttle isn'tlooking like himself.
Taylor:Are you standing on the prow of this tugboat? Where are you?
Nick (Luxe):I have just come back from the lounge which God bless it, there was a lounge andthere was a fridge, and there wasn't a pie. But I come back to that, back to thebridge and I have resigned myself to speaking to Columnar, but I don't want toget too close. I want to see if he... I still don't know what he wants. So I want tosee if he can maybe just, I could just kind of be like, "I'm sorry Mr. Columnar.Let me get this piece of junk out of here," kind of a thing. And so I'm going toput on that a little bit and I'm going to hide the side of my face that doesn't lookgreat. And... I'm going to see how that goes.
Nick (Luxe):I'm in the bridge right by the steering wheel basically. He's on the dock.
Michael (GM):What I'm going to say is that there's a door that Jast can see Luxe through. You'reprobably 15 feet away.
Taylor (Jast):15 feet and I can see him straight through the door.
Michael (GM):And you can tell that he does not look right.
Taylor (Jast):Hello. Are you enjoying your bachelorette party?
Michael (GM):You are now leaving Fun City. Thanks for listening. If you want to support theshow and get weird and fun behind the scenes tape, other episode extras, oraccess to our discord, please head to patreon.com/funcityventures where you cantransfer us some of your hard earned new yen and help keep this ship afloat.
Bijan:I'm Bijan Stephen and I am TK. You can find me online @bijanstephen on Twitter, which isB-I-J-A-N-S-T-E-P-H-E-N, or Instagram, and you should just Google that.
Jenn:I'm Jenn de la Vega. I am Viv. You can find me online @randwiches, that's the wordsandwiches but just replace the S with an R.
Nick:This is Nick Guercio. I play Luxe [Sithe 01:11:39]. You can find me on Twitter @N-G-U-E-R-S-H and Instagram @nguercio, G-U-E-R-C-I-O.
Shannon:This is Shannon Odell. I play Lash Goodbog. You can find me on Instagram and Twitter@shodell, S-H-O-D-E-L-L.
Taylor:This is Taylor Moore and I play all the bad boys. I'm @taylordotbiz.
Michael:My name is Mike Rugnetta. I am your GM. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram@mikerugnetta. You can find the show on Twitter @funcityventures.
Michael:Fun City was recorded at Fortunate Horse in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. It was produced,edited, and sound designed by me, Mike Rugnetta. All of the show's music is bySam Tyndall. Our art is by Tess Stone. Our discord mods are Olivia Gulin, Kitand Kestrel, and the voice of Artemis is Molly Templeton.
Michael:And if you happen to be in Brooklyn at the end of the month, Sam's band Cuneiform isdoing a special Halloween show on October 30th. They're doing a costumeperformance as Nine Inch Nails at Rose Gold in Brooklyn where they'll beplaying the entirety of Broken and more. Link in the show notes. And just on apersonal note, if I could only choose one person to take on his bizarre, Herculeantask, it would be Sam.
TC1006889611 (Completed 10/27/19)
Transcript by Rev.com