The team tacks to Tsune, the mallplanet unstuck from time.
Listen, I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your life but the latest arc of @funcityventures has a giant dying alien commandant who quotes William Blake, and a purple Pierce Brosnan with bugs for a beard. So, y'know... get in here!
https://funcity.ventures/episode/float-city-1-ah-sun-flower/
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Share the show with your friends! https://funcity.ventures
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Find more about Stillfleet at https://stillfleet.com
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@funcityventures is the show on twitter
@funcityventures is the show on instagram
@bijanstephen is Remy, the Sleeper (human) Blooder
@randwiches is Merkis, the Jalasti Banshee
@nicholasguercio is Vynos, the Conscript (human) Tremulant
and @shodell is Beta, the Shoodtha Pir
@taylordotbiz is Oat, Herr, Pop, Dorito, Torres and Deep River.
@mikerugnetta is everything else
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This episode of Float City was recorded in various locations across Brooklyn New York. It was produced, edited and sound designed by Mike Rugnetta.
Ah! How shall Pixlriffs submit to this Dark mansion / Ah how is this! Once on the heights, he stretched his throne sublime.
Our music is by Sam Tyndall - https://arpline.bandcamp.com/
Remy's flute playing is by Jake Fridkis - https://instagram.com/flutebros
Our art is by Tess Stone - http://notdrunkenough.com/
Our Discord mods are Olivia Gulin, Kit Pulliam and Kestrel
The voice of Artemis is Molly Templeton
[ Transcription by Jack Duff, @quackfluff on Twitter ] [00:00:00] [ Intro Theme begins ]
> Molly Templeton / “Artemis”: [ IC ] In the far future, faster than light travel is possible via portals called Stiffworks. Human and alien civilizations travel this way for millennia. Trade, war, and technology proliferate. Countless societies rise, thrive, fall, and vanish. Eventually, almost everyone forgets the secrets of the Stiffworks. Almost.
Three hundred years ago, the Worshipful Company of Stillfleeters is formed on Spindle, a space station of unknown origin. They send Fleeters into the void using Stiffworks in search of profit.
It is one hundred million years in the future. Welcome to Float City.
[ Intro Theme ends ]
[ Main Theme begins ]
> Mike Rugnetta / G.M.: Previously on Float City, the crew speaks to Beta’s xenobiologist friend Ourndrim Saspareen about Zeshdano Navelle, an archivist the Saffron Anax has requested they snoop on, as she would appear to be holding up a trade deal of his. Ourndrim is cagey, but eventually admits to knowing Navelle, who asked him to submit research on the fauna of Kakudun, the planet where she is stationed. But after much reliable communication, Zeshdano has suddenly gone quiet. Ourndrim isn’t sure what’s up, but he doesn’t like it.
The crew is then summoned to Archivist Chragcht’s office, where the man himself—rotund, levitating, a fleet of drone eyes—asks what was left out of their report on the Aanverder’s estate. Chragcht is satisfied with their answers, though indicates the Company is watching. He leaves the crew with refactor Algar, who assigns them their next job: Head to the commerce planet Tsune, and find out what’s causing errant foldgates to open, scoop debris into and through the Escheresque, and dump it on four provinces: Kalarash, Gijou, the Mantid Kingdom, and Kakudun.
We join the crew now as they wrap up their meeting with Algar.
[ Main Theme ends ]
> Jenn de la Vega / “Merkis Imeldar” : [ IC ] All right, Algar.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] And Merkis stamps a wet hand onto the paperwork, as a signature.
> Bijan Stephen / “Remy Tester”: [ IC ] He always does that, and I do not understand why. > Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Remy starts tootling. Tootling on the flute.
[ Tranquil flute ]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Tootling.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Uh, yeah, um, Algar draws a little ink outline around the wet patch on the piece of paper, and says like, you know - [ IC ] Apologies, the Company requires a wet ink signature, but I understand, yes.
[laughing]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] I can try to hold that pen, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen. > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] [interrupting] No, that won’t - That won’t be necessary.
> Nick Guercio / “Vynos Lysumptuara”: [ OOC ] So, real quick: What we know is that we can get to Kakudun through this mission, but we will need to go to Tsune first, and after trying something there, provide some justification for why we need to get to Kakudun. We don’t have automatic access, we have to give some justification after going to Tsune, is that correct?
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, you have a tack map to Gnarcossa only. > Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Okay.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You don’t have a tack map to any of the other locations, though I believe Algar has described the fact that the Foldgate Stabilizer is something that like - should you need to get to the other places, for emergency reasons or whatever, the Foldgate Stabilizer will allow you to do that. You will have to pass through the Escheresque momentarily, but, you know, you will be able to use the Foldgate Stabilizer -
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] But, we have permission to be on Kakudun as of now. But we are going to start by going to Tsune, correct?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Gnarcossa.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] I wouldn’t say that you have permission, so much as you are not forbidden.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Okay. [laughing] All right. [laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] So if we go there, we need to make sure - I’m just trying to get the - I don’t want to be like, get there and be like, “All right, let’s go to Kakudun,” and then we get melted.
[laughing]
> Shannon Odell / “Beta Commbot”: [ OOC ] Yeah, immediately. [laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yeah, so as long as - I think we might need to think on our feet in terms of actually trying to have a justification for getting to Kakudun. But I just wanted to get that in my mind correctly. In terms of what expectations are, yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] It’s also - you know, like, I’ll remind you that like, when you filed your report for what you did on Rigamont B, like, you know, there were some questions that Archivist Chragcht had about the Saffron Anax.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Right.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] But that seemed to be from a place of like, you know, the Saffron Anax would want to say hi to you, probably, but it’s not the report that he said hi, so like, “Huh, what’s going on there?”
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Right.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] I wouldn’t feel too restricted, as long as you’re doing your job, don’t
feel like there’s too short a leash.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Makes sense.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Merkis says - [ IC ] Thanks, Algar! - [ OOC ] and starts marching out the door.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Bon voyage! Uh, and do be in touch if you need anything. > Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] You got it, Doc.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] [stiffly] Ha, ha ha ha, ha ha. [ OOC ] And she walks out the door. [laughing]
[00:05:01] > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Oh, Beta, and if you find any other Zizzlebith Nibblebottom books, I will accept them, happily.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] [eagerly] Oh! Okay! Oh! Uh, just consider it on the schedule now! [laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Beta, the - the schedule, what? What’s on the schedule?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] I don’t know, Remy! I don’t know what I say when I’m around -
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] I don’t see a schedule in here.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Are you still in Algar's office, saying this to - ?
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah. As she walks out - [ IC ] I don’t know what comes out of my mouth!
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] So, in the hallway, Merkis kind of leans into everybody and says - [ IC ] Should we - should we go to Acquisitions? Or should we ask Mister Oat if he’d like to come?
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Can we do both? Don’t we have uh, walkies and talkies? > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Does Oat have a walkie?
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] I don’t think so. I think you might have - Oh, you know that he’s at Zona, so like, you know, it’d be pretty easy to find him.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Which one do we want to do first?
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] We could split up, I mean, me and Vynos, or me and Beta can go get
the stuff, and bring it to you guys with Oat?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Sounds good, uh, I can go grab Oat - [ OOC ] Where do we know Oat is? Is he - ?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] At Zona. [ IC ] I’ll go with you! Maybe I’ll have a drunk! > Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Merkis, you sure?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] I don’t know.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] I remember what happened last time.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] What happened last time? > Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Yeah, Merkis -
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Mhm...
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Oh, boy.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Maybe we shouldn’t do any of that before the mission. [laughing] > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Okay, Beta, let’s go.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Okay, so you guys waddle off to Zona in the Canteen to find Oat. Let’s go with - are Vynos and Remy going to go to Acquisitions?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yes.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Yes.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Okay, so you head to Acquisitions. There’s a little bit of a line, but it passes pretty quickly. You get to the front, and you can see that there is a Mantis person who is there, and she’s wearing a kind of like, very complicated multilayered leather kind of - It’s not battle armor, but it’s a jacket that’s made to look like battle armor, with a lot of straps, and
buckles and stuff, and it looks very cool. She’s got many arms sticking out of it and coming through it. And she turns on her - Uh, all Mantis people have to wear a box on their arms that translates Mantish Whistlespeak into something that you all can understand. So she turns on her talkbox, her Babel box, you know, Mantises kind of like, whisper-whistle, which I don’t know if I can do, but I’m gonna try, and then we’ll go from there. And she says - [ IC ] [whispering hoarsely] How can I help you? [low whistle]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Was that all right? How did I do? > Taylor Moore / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] [laughing] > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Good enough?
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Sure.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] I feel like y’all could just build a better - > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Taylor laughed, so I’ll take it.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Yeah, y’all should just build a better translator and sell it to the Mantis people.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Oh hey, there’s an idea.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, you guys should have some funny little QR codes from the
paperwork, do you hand those over? > Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Yes.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] She grabs them from you, and she says - [ IC ] [whispering hoarsely] I’ll be right with you. [low whistle]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Cheers.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And she goes into the Acquisitions Hall—you can see the double doors swing open— his giant warehouse of a room, and a few minutes pass, and she comes back with a bunch of flat trays that kinda look like the trays that you use - or, you know, did use in the before times at the security line at the airport, it’s just got a bunch of stuff piled in it. And she scans one by one all of the little QR codes for all of these items.
She has given you four exosuits, and with them, four rebreathers. The exosuits are kinda like beige and brick red, with some wide black stripes down the front of them, and you can see that there’s a Company patch on the shoulders. You would be familiar with these, they have a bubble helmet that extends over your head at the push of a button, the button is on the neck, and it has a few other bits and bobs that you might need. You know, there’s a Geiger counter in it to measure radiation. These will maintain atmosphere for an hour, until they need to then be recharged in the sun for twenty minutes. The rebreathers are just a small piece of technology that does exactly what it sounds like. It’s kind of like a flat, chrome almost, crescent that’s very shiny with a mouthpiece on one side of it, and it’s got a bunch of very small holes in it. And this does exactly what it sounds like, it exchanges what you breathe out into breathable atmosphere immediately, and it will allow you to rebreathe for twenty minutes straight, again until it needs to be recharged in the sun for an hour. So this is the sort of reverse of the other one, of the exosuit.
[00:09:34] She is sort of unpacking this stuff on the desk, and she’s putting it out, and she gets to the last one, and in it there is a thick black - sort of looks like a cross between rubber and leather, almost like scale, gauntlet kind of thing, like a bracelet, and that is the Escheresque Antinausea Field Generator. And there is also what you could probably describe as a small hula hoop, but instead of it being round, it’s flat. So it kind of looks like a belt. And it’s made of that same material, like it’s a black rubber leather that almost looks like it’s tessellated, like it’s tiled almost. And sticking out of it on the outside are many, many long, very sharp, black, swordlike teeth. And it looks like a very - it just is a scary object. It just looks kind of scary.
She looks at Remy and she says - I’m not gonna do the whistle - she says - [ IC ] Do you know how to use these?
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Not a single - I have no idea what I’m looking at.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] So, she stands over the Antinausea Field Generator and she points at it and she says - [ IC ] So, just, you put this on before you enter the Escheresque, and it will completely eliminate Escheresque nausea.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Sick.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] You will not have to experience it. Once you’re in the Escheresque, don’t
take it off, cause it will be worse. > Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Right. > Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] I see.
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Do you still take the damage after x number of minutes, or
whatever?
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] This does not provide atmosphere.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Okay.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] But, you have exosuits.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And they’re only giving you one of these. So, for one of you, this problem is solved.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Okay.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] And this is what’s called a Foldgate Stabilizer. This is tuned by the Archive very specifically. [ OOC ] And she, like, looks at some of the cards, and she’s like - [ IC ] Yeah, yeah, okay. This is tuned specifically to where you are going. It’s gonna keep one randomly-moving foldgate on the planet that you’re headed to open and stationary so that you can study it, so that you can use it - I don’t know what your refactor asked you to do, but like, it will stop it from moving, and it will keep it open. So, all you have to do is throw this into it in the right orientation. [ OOC ] And she points at all of the teeth around the outside. She says - [ IC ] It should be pretty obvious. [ OOC ] In game terms - she doesn’t say this, cause she’s not Brandish Tam, she doesn’t know that she lives inside of a game [laughing] - in game terms, it requires no roll, so you can just use it. You can just throw it into a foldgate and it will stabilize it, but it will cost 1 d12 GRT.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Hm.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And she says - [ IC ] This also makes a really good melee weapon, so don’t be afraid to use this if you get into any trouble. You can really mess someone up good with this. [laughing] [ OOC ] In game terms, you would roll combat to hit someone with this, and it does 2 d4 damage, and causes Bleed.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Mm! > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Wow.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Good.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] So whoever has it can also use it as a weapon if they want to. She points at both of these things and she says - [ IC ] In case your refactor didn’t tell you this, these things are... very valuable. And we are expecting their return as soon as your job is done. So make sure that these come back in one piece. [low whistle]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] You got it, pal.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Yes, thank you so much, miss. I do notice that you have four exosuits
here for us. We may have another joining us. Would it be possible to get another? > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] No.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Okay. That’s always good to ask, though.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] You’d have to get another card from your refactor.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] I see. Okay, well thank you and have a lovely. > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] You - you as well. [low whistle]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] I’m doing a very bad job of imitating what Mantis Whishel - Man - Mantid Whishel - Wi - I can’t even say it. [laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yeah, you kinda have like a -
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] [exaggerated] Mantish Whishel.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Mantish Whishel, yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] [with exaggerated whistle] Mantish Whistle - okay, anyways.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Over at Zona - you get to Zona, and, yeah, Oat is bartending, he has said that he would be so I’m imagining he’s there. Is Stephen Patrick Morrissey around, Oat, or is it just Oat tending bar?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Yes, Stephen Patrick Morrissey is there tending bar, and Oat is putting up some art that he has crafted from trash on the walls above the tables.
[quiet restaurant ambience]
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] [deeply and slowly] So nice to see you so soon after your first visit. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Aah!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] He’s being sarcastic because it’s been a week.
[laughing]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Mister Patrick Morrissey! Hello!
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] So great to see you, uh, roomie, ha ha ha!
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Oat has this, like, weird framed sort of collage of trash that he’s about to hang up, and he’s got it in his hands right in front of them, he hears your voice, he turns around, and when he sees it’s you, he drop the work of art [crashing] and immediately completely forgets about it.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re here, where are we going?
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Oh - great! You’re coming! Yes-
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Thank you! Thank you! Bye, Stephen Patrick Morrissey - [under breath, quickly] Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Oh, okay, oh- > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh, oh, oh-
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Well, don’t you want to check in with your boss, make sure it’s cool?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] No! No, what? [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] [deeply and slowly] Keep your eyes out for demons. [laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] [strained] Okay, you’ve got it, buddy! We’ll keep those eyes out for demons. [under breath, quickly] Go faster, go away faster, go away.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] [stuttering] Okay.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Okay, okay, okay, we’re going, we’re going. We’ll fill you in on the
walk over.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Oh, or not, I don’t care, just get me the hell out of this bar. > Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Okay, cool.
[laughing]
[00:15:00] > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Okay, so you guys leave Zona. The Canteen is like, medium busy, there are some people who are eating lunch. They are eating some phytonutrients that are in - the shape today is like, octopus. Like, y’know, big bulby head with some tentacles. As you are exiting the Canteen, you can see Vynos and Remy walking across the green that is between the Basilikon, where Acquisitions is, and the Canteen, and they are laden. They are encumbered with multiple exosuits and, yeah, one very scary weird-looking object.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] And Merkis is just finishing up a little synopsis of what we’re supposed to be doing - [ IC ] And did I mention that there is debris falling on Gijou?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Oh, huh, that’s, uh - That place cannot catch a break, am I right?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] I don’t know, I’ve never been there!
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Anyhow, have you ever been to Gnarcossa before? > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] No, I have not tacked there yet.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] I have! And let me tell you, I am now thinking about going back to Stephen Patrick Morrissey and sweeping up the mess I made.
[laughing]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh no, no, Mister Oat, Mister Oat, let’s go get you an exosuit from
Algar. [laughing] [ OOC ] And Merkis is like, dragging Oat to the office.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Oh boy. Okay, but after this we’re getting a drunk! [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You guys go back through Acquisitions - or, you guys back into the Basilikon and make your way to Algar's office. He’s inside quietly working on paperwork. He looks up - is Merkis the first through the plastic door?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah. And holding Oat’s arm. Not by the hand but by the elbow. > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Uh - oh! Uh, hello Recruit. Merkis, what can I do for you?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh, Mister Algar, sir, we have one request, to bring some luck with us on this mission.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Oh! You would like to bring - Oat, is it? - with you on your mission. Interesting. Um - ooh. Uh - Mister Oat, how do you feel about this?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Uh, I was under the impression that I would be going along on a lot of missions, and so I’m ready to do it. Unless there’s another planet we can go to that makes more sense.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Uh... Um...
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] We’re all kicking this can down the road about whether this NPC is gonna go along for the ride.
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah. > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Maybe that’s what this episode should be about.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Nobody wants to say yes or no. Yeah - the reason that Mike and I are being hesitant, y’all, is because I’m already voicing seven characters in this scenario.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Ah, I see.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Oh.
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] I was about to suggest, like, they should have just given us another suit. [laughing] Cause this is a lot for nothing.
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] The reason - I don’t see why should we play coy about it.
It’s like, my hesitation is that - [laughing] It’s gonna be thick in there with me. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] I can’t wait.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, Taylor, what do you wanna do?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Let’s just let Oat go because we’ve already done the scene work to get him there. And it will be a nice early victory for all of us, and then maybe let’s just let Oat fade into the background as things pick up on Gnarcossa.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Sure. Okay, great. He’s like - [ IC ] Oh, uh. Hm. I mean, uh, your contract is largely for, uh, local assistance, but um - [ OOC ] And he flips through some paperwork, and you can see that he’s like, writing on some things, [rustling] he opens up the desk door [hinge squeak] and pulls out some more pieces of paper and he says - [ IC ] Ah. Uh, we should be able to make an exception. Just, um, uh, you know, make sure that you uh, make it work the extra paperwork, yes?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Yes...
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And he’s kind of winking at Oat, like, you know, “You know what I mean.”
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Why are you winking at me?
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Oat, correct me if I’m wrong, but you have, as they say, “fast fingers”,
yes?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] You’re wrong! I would never use my speedy fingers to do anything untoward.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Fabulous, and that’s exactly what we expect of you. And he hands you - > Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] And then Oat gives a big wink.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And Algar’s pen is gone.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And you get an extra little card that will get you some extra stuff. So,
do we wanna fast-forward through, just like, Oat then goes to Acquisitions and like -
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] - gets an exosuit and a rebreather, and, yeah, he’s good to go. > Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Yeah, gearing-up montage. [laughing]
[intense music fades in]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] We see him pulling the boot, we see him doing the glove,
yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] It’s very Edgar Wright. Imagine the edits are very crisp. [intense music fades out]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Great, yeah, so you guys have your load-out, and you have all your paperwork, and the tack map. So let’s see, we’re just like, in the Canteen, or maybe you’re in the
Green, you tell me, but like, who is gonna have the Antinausea Field Generator, and who is going to take the Foldgate Stabilizer?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] What do we roll, again, when we go into the Escheresque? > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You roll d4 minus dWIL, plus dREA.
[00:19:59] > Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Mhm. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Okay.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yeah, does Merkis have a high REA? Maybe you should have the Antinausea.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah. It’s my highest.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Okay, yeah, I think you should probably have it, just cause your
GRT is very important for all of us to get anywhere.
[laughing]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. I’ll add it to my little... It’s the bracelet
thing, right?
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] It’s a bracelet, yeah. It’s like a black bracelet. > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] What’s everyone’s GRT number?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] My max is 30.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Oh, nice.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Mine is 32.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Mine’s 20.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Okay. Just to- Anything we have to do extra that costs GRT, maybe Remy shouldn’t do, also.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Yeah, the last time we were in the Escheresque, Remy took a shitload of damage, which is why-
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Oh yeah, that’s right, Remy-
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] So Remy’s looking at the Antinausea Field Generator like [groans]
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Yeah, yeah.
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] It’s probably fine.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Who’s got the Foldgate Stabilizer?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] That costs GRT to use too, right?
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] That should also go to Merkis though, cause like, that stabilizes the thing, right?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] It does stabilize the thing. But maybe it should go- If it costs GRT, maybe it should go to Nick. You have 30?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] I have 32.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Ooh, 32!
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Oh! You have more than Merkis! [laughing] > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] He’s rollin’ in GRT.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, it costs 1 d12 GRT to use.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Okay, I could-
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah, let’s-
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] I can do that, then.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] We can always hand it to someone else.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yes. [laughing] We should spend the rest of the episode discussing this-
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] In the moment, yeah.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] but it is good to keep that in mind.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah. [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Right. Okay. Just want to make sure we know who has it. Nice. Do you guys go rest?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah, I think that’s probably the best idea.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, it’s like evening on Spin, or the clocks tell you that it’s evening. There’s no windows to the outside, so who knows? But, it’s late, so yeah, you can go and hit your room-blobs, regain pool, and get an early start in the morning, and get to Gnarcossa.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Before I do that, can I do some - just cause I’m gonna get free GRT off of it, can I Speak With Steel with the Stabilizer?
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, sure. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Cool.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Okay, so with this roll, I will be able to learn either how the object was made socially - not technically, like, the history of the object - who last used it, or how it really works, which is more of the technical side. If the result is 12 or higher, I get to learn all three of the facts. So, I will burn 1 GRT to do that. Then I have to roll dREA and my level, which is 2, or 3 right now?
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Your level would be 2.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] So, dREA, which is 12. He’s whispering to this thing. Oh, I got 11, so I got 13, so I get to know all three of the things, Mikey.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Wow!
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Vynos kind of turns this spiky thing in his hand and gives it a couple of pokes, and he feels a very strong connection, and he says - [ IC ] Hey! You there! Spiky- little spiky one! Tell me your tales.
[quiet drone begins]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] [laughing] You hear a sort of quiet voice through the void, kind of echoing, a little bit like a chorus almost, like many, many voices all sort of jutting up against one another. And it goes - [ IC ] [modulated, echoing discordantly] And what would you like to know?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Well, how were you made? Who made you?
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Oh, we were made to tear apart this plane of yours. To provide passage into space. Into that which has no depth. But we are different now! We no longer hunger for the firmament of existence.
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Yes... Who last used you?
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Hm... Allow me to consider it. Who last used you?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Well... It’s been a while since a young woman hath broken mine heart. But that’s neither here nor there. You tell me your damn tales!
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Ooh!
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Who last used you!
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Mm... Quite pleasant one, or ones? A Dudul, a Tephnian I think. Centuries ago. They were lost without us. And are now lost forever in a hulk deep in the void.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You get like, a couple of quick flashes of images in your mind, of just this massive decrepit spaceship.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Mm. Ooh. Yes, I see, I see. Now, tell me your secrets, how do you really work?
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Is it common for your type to know exactly how they function? > Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Not even a little bit.
[laughing]
[00:24:49] Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] One such as you should know that the tales of time are difficult to tell. Where yesterday we were a blade for slicing through the fabric of time and space, today we are but a stop in its works.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Ah. So an Escheresque blade turned into a doorstopper.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Mm, astute this one is. [ OOC ] And then some laughter - [ IC ] [high
pitched laughing].
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Do I get any mental pictures of it working, or anything like that?
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You get this dull hazy image of - remember when the Deva, the Saffron Anax’s Deva opened up that keyblade, and kind of like ripped a hole in space, and there was that very thin envelope that you walked through from three-space into the Escheresque?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You get a very, sort of hazy image of something similar to that, except instead of a kind of ovaloid shape, it’s pretty round, and on the outside of it is the object that you are holding, and all of the spiny teeth are pointing out from the center, and it is like the spiny teeth are holding that gate, that envelope in space open, and it’s sort of like, shaking and vibrating, and you can see that there’s this gap in space that it has made, that then goes into a distant and different plane from the one that this vision kind of starts in.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Okay.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You sort of get the sense that what this is, you know- where you could use an Escheresque blade, or the Deva’s keyblade, or other pieces of technology to like, rip a
hole in space, this is something that like, where a hole already exists, it will sort of like, jam it open, and when it says it’s a stop in the works of the fabric of time and space, that’s kind of what it means, it’s like you’re sticking a wrench in the quantum operation of the fabric of time, and you’re just kind of like, leaving it open a little bit.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] And Vynos was standing at Acquisitions, right? With Remy?
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, I think you guys are like, I think, either at Acquisitions, or in the
Green, or somewhere near the Canteen, but yeah, you’re like, out in public. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] What does Remy think of this situation?
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] I mean, Remy’s not bothered, he’s just like, yeah, Vynos just does this shit.
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] And I mean, Remy could only one side of the conversation, right?
He was just like, I guess, yeah.
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Same shit, different day.
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Yeah, I mean it’s- I feel like, you know, we’ve been working together only for a little while, but it’s pretty clear that this is how things go.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah. It’s in Vynos’s character to do this.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] The Foldgate Stabilizer says - [ IC ] I wish you luck in your endeavors.
And that you do not end up like my friend the Dudul.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [laughing] [ IC ] Well, I wish the same for you, but I guess it wouldn’t really happen to you.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] I’m a thing, so I can’t die.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Ah, yes. Okay, don’t break on us. If we ever try to use you, don’t you dare break.
> Mike / G.M.: [laughing] [ IC ] I’ll do my best.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] May time and space bless your way.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And the presence and the voice fade into the howling beyond.
[drone fades]
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] I was under the impression that we were gonna go somewhere today.
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] I guess I’ll just go back to cleaning up at the bar I do not
like, and meet back here tomorrow. Next time, just catch me on the way to the gates, my friends!
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] It’s not very satisfying when you have a grand exit, and then you
have to just go back, and be like, “Ah yeah, it’s tomorrow.”
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Yeah, “Whoops!” I’ll say, pretending I did not mean to do it.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC as Stephen Patrick Morrissey ] I thought you were going on an adventure.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] We all did, Stephen Patrick Morrissey, we all did!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Okay, everybody heads to bed, you can regain pool. That is dMOV plus dWIL plus level.
[ad music begins]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] It’s ya girl Jenn, and I’m here interrupting the show to tell you about Patreon. If you’re loving our story, production value, and goddamn incredible sound design, become a Chummer for just 5 American dollars per month. That’s 4.28 euros, 523 yen, or 106 pesos. For 0.00037 Bitcoins, you get access to Fun/Float Chatty, our inside baseball show about every episode, an invite to our Discord, which has channels called “chumblr" and “the-cone-of-bonus-cone-tent”, and top-secret cold storage archive, and cyberpunk-themed Spotify playlist that I personally update every Tuesday. Come on, why don’t you join us at patreon.com/funcityventures. Again, that’s patreon.com/funcityventures.
[ad music ends]
[00:29:59] > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] This is great, that we decided to go to sleep, because I
just realized that I’m gonna want to take NTS with us.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Oh, you gotta pick up your boy.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] I’m going to add five more Taylor characters as well.
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Sorry, Taylor.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, if you wanna pick up some NPCs at the Canteen for free, do you wanna go get Brandish Tam?
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Let’s bring them all!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Maybe he wants to see his friends. [laughing] Should we just have Taylor play everyone?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yes.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah. [laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Doesn’t he?
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] [imitating Jenn, with lisp] I’m Merkis! [laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] There we go.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] It is morning on Spin, or you would guess that it’s morning on Spin, it’s what the clocks say. The five of you, including Oat, go to the Near Bays, and Merkis, you have the tack map, and the paperwork that Algar gave you takes you to one of many Stiffworks in a long line. Do your thing!
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah! [ IC ] Okay, I think it’s over here.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] During this time, while Merkis is figuring out how to tack, Beta
is showing everyone NTS, because NTS is wearing a little fedora that she made.
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] A travel fedora.
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Saying - [ IC ] What do you think? > Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] I love it. I absolutely love it.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Thank you Remy.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] He looks so good.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Quite charming, quite charming, yes.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] I think he likes it as well.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] NTS, what do you think?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Oh, he doesn’t talk. [laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Oh, right.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Only when you press the button. [laughing] > Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Oh, I’m sorry, yeah.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] I’ve tried.
[laughing]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] I think I’ve found this- [ OOC ] Merkis is just, like, turning the map upside down, and like - [ IC ] No, no, no, this is right, this is right. Okay, okey-dokey. [ OOC ] And he puts a hand onto the Stiffwork, you can hear the little suction of the four little bulby fingers. *ploop, ploop, ploop*
[low drone begins]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Nice.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] And tacks.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, suddenly the Near Bays, where you’re standing, feels a little bit bigger, and there’s no visual difference in the matte black wall that is the Stiffworks, but you all feel this familiar feeling of space opening up in front of you, and you can walk through. The Stiffworks will be open for ten minutes. Who goes in first?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Merkis goes in first. Waddling in. > Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Remy’s right behind Merkis.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Who goes in third?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Then Beta.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And then?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Vynos.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Oat’s bringing up the rear.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] I’m in the back!
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] I just picture Oat dancing through the- “Leaving Spin!” [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Okay, so you all parade one-by-one through the Stiffworks, in the pipe, five by five, as it were. You feel a very familiar feeling of space closing on you, though it is an infinite expanse of a tunnel, and you walk toward a pinprick of light that gets bigger and bigger as you transmit your bodies and your minds through this strange ancient technology from Spin to the commerce planet of Gnarcossa. You can start to see, from part of the way through the Stiffworks, as you’re going through, that the other side on Gnarcossa is like, it’s like a big building. You’re going inside to a big building. It looks really long, it’s really well-lit, it’s mostly white and grey, and it’s empty. It’s like, sort of monochromatic, for how big it is. It’s like you’re walking into the interior of what we would recognize as like, a gigantic conference center, almost. Except instead of weird gross carpet, it’s all just like, white tile of some kind, or like white marble. And you can see this start to come into focus as you’re walking through the tunnel, and you all kind of step foot one-by-one onto the tile floor, onto the firmament of Gnarcossa. And the moment all of you are through the Stiffworks, Oat bringing up the back-
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Happy to be here!
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You then hear half a dozen voices all shout -
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as several different characters at once ] Duck! (Look out!) [drone culminates and disappears]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And then you are all immediately knocked over.
[loud crashing sounds]
[pulsing music begins]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Hit in the back of the knees. You are taken out, you are tackled, you topple, shoulders to the ground, heads to the ground, knocked off of your faces, as a moving foldgate careens over your heads.
[loud synthetic buzzing passes from right to left]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You can see that the top half of it is melting through what’s above you, what looks like sturdy building material. And it’s just like, sucking it, it’s like, cutting through it, melting it, grabbing it, and just sucking it into its moving void.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Hm!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And as it passes over your head, and then gets some distance further away from you, you can see through the other end, and even though it’s like, an oval, right, with this sort of grey ring around it, and that ring, it looks like, is what’s like- that’s the dangerous bit, that’s like sawing through whatever this material is, if you like, look up, you can see that the chunk that’s been cut out of this building material is in the shape of the foldgate. As it gets past you, it gets slightly further away and you’re able to see into it. Even though it is standing up vertical, the perspective looks like you’re looking down into the Escheresque.
[00:35:03] > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] [shudders]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Like it’s horizontal. And you can see the things that are sort of moving through the Escheresque look like they’re falling. And it looks like they’re falling down into another open gate that’s in the Escheresque, where you can see just barely as the foldgate moves away from you, you can see like, some green leaves, small bits of water, a little bit of a beach, and it just goes and goes and goes into the distance, and as it retreats it closes, like an iris, until it gets to be just a tiny pinprick of light. And then it just goes away.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Whoa!
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Oh!
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Was that- was that one of the gates?!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You can see that you are inside a vast and wildly overbuilt building. It is huge, and there are just columns and walkways and storefronts and stairs just everywhere. You are in a kind of grand hallway, and you’re at the end of this grand hallways, and it seems that it leads somewhat ceremoniously to the Stiffworks that you just emerged out of. Merkis, you might be interested in knowing: this is a Snakeman Stiffworks.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Mm! Merkis is turning around to study the Stiffworks so they know how to get home, but shies away because it’s- it’s scary.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] All of the walls around you are kind of like, grey-white. It’s kind of like a light unfinished marble. The Stiffworks behind you is looking out, you can see this corridor that stretches to the horizon, it just goes and goes and goes. It’s probably the biggest building that any of you have ever seen, it’s like basically the opposite of Spin, it’s all white and it just is massive. You can see really far into the bottom, if you like, tilt your head over the little balcony that’s next to you. If you look up, you can see that the roof is just, maybe miles above you- it’s giant. It is also just full of detritus and rubble. And it’s not destroyed. It’s actually kind of like someone built this massive immaculate shopping mall, and then, instead of filling it with stores and products and goods, they just filled it with the pieces of another, utterly demolished shopping mall.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Hm!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] It’s just infinite, it’s anodyne, and otherwise kind of empty, like there’s
no color. No products. Except for all of the gnomes that just tackled you.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You are surrounded by six gnomes. And these are the people who have knocked you over, and have saved your life from the foldgate. They all look a lot like Brandish Tam, they’re all about four feet tall, kind of hirsute. They’re muscular. They’re all very tactical, they’re covered in pockets and straps and tools and ropes and gear and equipment. They are all very similar in appearance. They are vat gnomes, after all, grown by the Snakemen. So they do have a kind of cookie-cutter appearance. Except for their age, the things that they’re holding, and their skin: each one of them is a different color, and they’re all kind of like, a light pastel color.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Hm! [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] The one that is closest to you is middle-aged, he’s a grey color, and he’s got a dark, black, thick, well-manicured beard. It’s very long. And he’s also got hair similar to Brandish Tam: wavy, black, really thick. He is the most, like, tactical. Totally outfitted with pockets and straps and patches and gear. He kind of looks like a Rob Liefeld drawing, if you know Rob Liefeld?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Looking it up.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] This is like a deep comic books joke.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Huge chest, lots of pouches.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, lots of pouches.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] No feet.
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Can’t see the- You can’t see any of their feet.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Oh, cause he can’t draw feet?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] He cannot draw feet.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Right.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Feet is premium content.
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] It’s true. Unlock that on our Patreon.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You are gonna have to join Zapp’s OnlyFans in order to see his feet. [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Zapp says- He looks up at- He like, gets up, dusts off his black, like, cargo pants, with a ton of pockets. They’re kind of like, covered in dust now. And he looks at you and he says- [ IC ] [low, drawling] Please tell me that you are here to help. And that almost getting killed isn’t something that normally happens to you.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] From the floor, Merkis takes out the stylophone, and he’s taking notes- [ IC ] [with squiggling stylophone] Successful tack to Gnarcossa. Uh- immediately thrown to the ground upon entering. [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] He uh-
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] You can hear *squiggle squiggle squiggle*.
[00:39:48] > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] He turns to his gnomish compatriots and says something in Gnarcossan, that none of you understand. But the gnomes, of course, understand it. And he has said- [ IC ] Seems like we got some Company people. [ OOC ] And he looks back at the rest of you and says- [ IC ] So?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Uh, yeah, we, we are- you are correct, we are here to help with your flying debris problem- Is that what we would say it is?
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Oh, yes. Yes, it is a problem.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] And that was an- What just happened there was an example of
flying debris, that’s not just something that happens on this planet? Just, I’m wondering. > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] No. That is not something that normally happens on this planet.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] And also just one more question for you: What’s the oldest thing you remember?
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Hm. Interesting. Uh... Well, oldest in what timeline?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Oookay. I’m gonna have to get your number, or-
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] I remember the planes of Tsune before it was built like this. I remember the Turquoise Plateau before these buildings were even here.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] The Turquoise...
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] But, technically, I wasn’t alive at that time. So, you can tell me whether or
not that’s a memory or a dream.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Okay, okay, I am loving this! I am loving this!
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Anyways, before we get too far: My name is Zapp. Who did you say- What did you say your name was?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Yes, uh, my name is Beta. Nice to meet you Zapp. And this is my team...
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] And Merkis gets up and dusts himself off- [ IC ] Hi, I’m Merkis! > Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Vynos is still in sort of a entanglement of his robes.
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Kind of on his hands and knees looking for the quarter-moon spectacles that he’s dropped on the ground. He finds them, puts them on, and goes- [ IC ] Vynos at your service!
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Vynos, as you’re speaking, a dark crimson-red gnome with a bandolier of grenades and a very high hairdo runs over to you and says- [ IC ] [with a “southern belle” drawl] Well now, it just would not be proper to let an elder sit here looking for his spectacles all by himself. Let me help you to your feet, grandpa.
[laughing, the players react]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Oof. Thank you kindly, thank you kindly.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Oh, be careful where you put your hands, some of those are live, don’t you know.
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Remy has just flipped over on his back, and he’s just looking up at the architecture, really taking it in. He’s interested. It reminds him of home. And he says- [ IC ] Remy! That’s me. Nice place you got here.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Well, uh, tha-
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] [high-pitched, strained voice, qua Meatwad] Dorito! [pause] I thought we were just gonna shout our names.
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] Dorito!
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Dorito?
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] I don’t like you, whoever you are, but the rest of you seem fine.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Dorito is like a pink-purple swirl. And Dorito- they have like- they’re not wearing a lotta gear, and there’s just like a few planks of wood tied to their arms and legs with string. And obviously in their back pocket is a full-sized flute.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Is it like, taller than they are?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Yeah, it’s like a Earth flute. [laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC ] I see you’re noticing my flute.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Am I?
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Yeah, no one was noticing. [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] To be fair, it’s hard to not notice the flute.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] [through laughter] This is insane. [laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Yeah, and now, the oldest gnome is standing right next to Dorito, clearly of advanced age, and he turns to Dorito- [ IC ] [as a toothless Southern grandpa] Ain’t nobody noticing your flute, child!
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as oldest gnome ] Nobody cares about your flute, and no,
don’t get it out to play it.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Dorito ] Oh, but I think they want me to play my flute! [laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as oldest gnome ] Nobody wants you to play your flute, Dorito, put it up! My name is Pop. That’s Dorito, who you met. And, old fellow, that’s- the one helping you up, that’s Herr.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] “Her”? Her name is “Her”? > Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] “Herr”.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] I think technically it’s [pronounced as if German] “Herr”, but yes, it’s [pronounced like “her”] “Herr”.
[laughing, gasps]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] And then we also have, uh, uh, uh, our keeper of the
maps, Torres.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Torres ] [younger, Appalachian, shouting] Hi, that’s me! If you want to know your ups from your downs and your lefts from your rights, well I got great news for you, I’m here day and night! It’s me, Torres, the vat gnome!
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Well, pleasure to meet you as well Torres.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Zapp puts his hand up and says, [ IC ] I’m Zapp. Uh- so- > Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] And that’s all of us, including our intern, Oat.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Oat ] Oh, boy. See- [laughing] This is why I- [ OOC ] Sorry, I’m having a hard time keeping in control of what’s canon in my mind.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Oat has laryngitis, so can’t speak. [laughing] [00:45:00] > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Please do thirty voices all at once.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Oat opens his mouth and like- you know that Vine, or like that video of the dog that opens its mouth and thirty tater tots come out?
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Do you know the one I’m talking about?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Oat opens his mouth, and just a bunch of rubble just falls out. [ IC as Oat ] [coughing] Oh man! I think I swallowed a lot of this debris.
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Oat ] It’s very nice to meet everyone. I’m very happy- [
OOC ] he winks at the gang- [ IC ] To be on this job!
[laughing]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh, Mister Oat, you should probably take it easy. > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And then Beta opens NTS and- No, okay. [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Zapp puts his hand up and says- [ IC ] Yeah, and uh, speaking of “job”: So, by way of explanation, what happened- [ OOC ] And he is gesturing, and you can actually see, like, he gestures out at the giant building that you’re in, and you can see across its vast area, there are foldgates just popping into existence, burning through the building, just, like, ripping it to shreds, grabbing all of the rubble that it’s cutting open, transporting it through the Escheresque into various locations, you know, for the ones that you can see that are close, you know, you see the mossy side of a mountain, you see the beach again, you see what looks like a dock in the water, you see a giant black egg-shape building in the distance, and you can see that they’re just popping into existence, ripping through the building, and then again just like, closing to a
pinprick and going away. And there’s maybe a dozen of them in view at any given time. And he gestures and he says- [ IC ] So, Torres had a shipment of structural plastics that he had to send to Kalarash, but it was too big for any of the riggers, and Pop here had the really good idea to just send it through the Void. So, uh, he activated some piece of technology left here by the Snakemen. You know how it works here, right, they left it here a few millennia from now?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Mhm, mhm.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Yes, yes.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Yeah, that totally makes sense, yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Yeah.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] I think it was a communications channel. Panel. What’s the difference between a panel and a channel again?
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Oh boy. Maybe you’re starting to understand the problem we’re in here. So, he uh- he did send it through the Void, it worked, but uh, whatever he turned on, now it’s goin’ haywire, we can’t figure out how to turn it off. Pop can’t remember where the control panel is. So we’re uh-
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] There was a nice young man there.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Yeah. So that’s what we’ve got to go on. Um, we’re retracing all of his
steps, we’re hoping he remembers, uh, what he did. > Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] I don’t! [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] He pulls out something that looks like a big hole punch. Like, he reaches into one of his big pockets, and he pulls out this strange, kind of like a single-punch hole punch, but bigger, and he holds it out in front of him, and he squeezes down the two handles on one side-
[quiet high-pitched oscillating]
-and a small circle of light starts to spin above it, grows in diameter, and then just shoots up this big pulsating column of light that forms into a three-dimensional image.
[oscillating fades out]
The lines form up from the bottom, and then, you know, they start to form lines horizontally. You can see these vertices coming into view. And after a few seconds, you can see that some of the faces of the 3D shapes get rendered, and get colored, and you can see that it’s a rendering of buildings, it’s a 3D model of buildings. And also of a long hallway. And you can see that it is basically a 3D map of where you are. A lot of the shapes, a lot of the buildings, are labeled in text that you can’t read. You don’t know what it says. But some of them are labeled in something that’s like, approaching Spin? It’s like, Spin translated through a translator that’s then put through a translator and put through another translator? You can kind of read it. And those look very different. They’re not in like, neat computer-generated type, they’re in what looks like handwriting, even though it’s digital. Zap gestures at the map, and he sort of like, does a pinch gesture like we would do to zoom out on a phone, and you can see that it shows more of the Gnarcossan landscape, and it gives you a sense of like, where you are in the structure. Or like, in a way, it kind of doesn’t. It’s so big that you can see that where you are is in the middle of just this huge thick of tons and tons of buildings. And there are a bunch of places that are labeled on the map. [ IC ] These are the places that we think Pop could have turned on the foldgate generator. [ OOC ] He goes through, and there’s like, a little spot in a building that’s far, far below you. Like, looks like it’s just miles below where you are. And it’s labeled - all of you can read it - “Trajectory Sustenance”.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Hm!
[00:49:52] > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And then there’s one that is also really low, and far to the east. Like, again, maybe miles away from here. And it is labeled “Territory of the Keepers”. Then there is one that is on the same level as you, miles to the west, and it is labeled “Capacity Nickelodeon”.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And then there is one that is like, kind of next to the Territory of the Keepers, that is labeled “Utensil Library”. And then there is one that is very far north, like, maybe a dozen miles north, and very high up, like, almost at the top of a very tall building, and that is called “the Stability Midpoint”. Zapp is like, going through these locations one by one, you know, he’s not explaining them but he’s like, you know- [ IC ] We got this one here, Pop thinks he might have been at the Territory of the Keepers about a week ago. You know, the Utensil Library is-
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] Could have been two weeks!
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Um, Utensil Library is where we keep some tools. That’s- he thinks he might have been there a couple days ago. But they’re all, you know, they’re all pretty far off. So, uh, if y’all have any thoughts, we would love to not wander around for longer than we have to, for obvious reasons.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Torres ] But if we have to, we have to. Even in distress, Gnarcossa’s one of the jewels of the solar system! Take it from me, Torres!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And then a foldgate opens right next to Torres, and like, almost clips him in the shoulder, removing his arm.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Torres ] Shit!
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And Zapp gestures at it as if to say- [ IC ] You see what I mean?
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Vynos says- [ IC ] Well, I have a question for Pop. Pop, it doesn’t sound like you remember much, but you do remember a nice young man there, where you turned on the generator. Could you describe him for us?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] Oh, he was just the nicest young man. And I asked him where he was from, and to see if we were related to each other. And to see, I asked if he was dating anybody.
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] I always like to find out what the young people are up to and what they’re doing in their lives, whenever we talk, because they’re always looking at their devices. And it’s nice to just talk to people and not have to do a device. And he, he- I was at the communications ch- panel. The channel. And he was talking to me there, and trying, uh, to make me do something I did not understand. And it was unconnected to my- it was unconnected to my mission in the area. And so I was mostly ignoring him, as he was I, and all I remember is that he was aggressive, but I did like the way he was aggressive. I believe you could describe him as a charming young man.
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Okay, and was this young man a gnome as well, or was he of some other race?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] No!
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Okay. What did he look like? [laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] Well, he was a tall man like you, but younger, not like either of us, and his hair was a pale yellow color.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] Hm. Okay.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Ah, so you’re not alone here.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] Well, I’m never alone as long as I have my friends Herr, Torres, Dorito, Zapp, and, wait- where’s little Deep River? [ OOC ] And then, when he says that, Torres looks around, and then Torres sorta steps to the side, and behind him is a much smaller, thinner, viridian deep green gnome with big eyes, she looks like, uh, Shelley Duvall. And she says, [ IC as Deep River ] [wide-eyed, youthful] Oh, hi. My name’s, my name’s Deep River.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh! [ OOC ] Merkis is like, in love. [laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] The feeling is mutual. The entire time that you can see Deep River, she is making total, locked eye contact with you, Merkis.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] [gasping]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Deep River ] Sometimes I can open gates too!
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] You can?! [ OOC ] Merkis just puts a little bulbous hand, like, up in the air.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] And Deep River does the same, mirrors the motion to you.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] [squeaks]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Beta is looking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and being like- [ IC ] Huh? What is this?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I have a real question for Mister Zapp. > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Yep.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Should we be worried about this person Pop met?
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Uh-
[00:54:57] > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Has anyone been hostile to you, while you’ve been here?
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Most of Gnarcossa is empty except for the other gnomes. You might see a chromatic human out on the plain, uh, but uh- Yeah. We don’t really know what Pop is going on about. And I think that is a problem that uh- once we meet a friendly, aggressive, charming young man with blond hair, we’ll know we’re going in the right direction.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] So, Beta wants to use a fun class power she has, which is Find Clue.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Oh! Nice. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah! > Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Sick.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] So that is, once per session, you can find a clue towards whichever plot you want, but you should make your choice clear to the GM. The clue is specific, you don’t need to understand the bigger picture, but you know what to do next.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Hm.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] So, I guess I- yeah, I want the clue to be about this plot,
obviously, like, what to do next here. What we would- > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Where we should go.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Tell me if this feels like it’s cheating. Beta-
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You remember that you and Merkis were hanging out in the Canteen. > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Like, over the week that you had off, when you were training your new skills. And Merkis was telling you about this epic game of hide-and-seek that he was playing with his brothers.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Mm.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And how he was able to find where one of his brothers was because he knew that his brother was like, really interested in one of the particular atmosphere exchangers that was in, like, a deep, deep part of Spin, and Merkis just followed the wires for the exchanger and was able to find his brother.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Mm.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And so, in game terms, one of Merkis’s new skills is a thing that would
in theory be able to help you locate exactly what you’re looking for. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Ahhh.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] So, basically, the idea is that Merkis has a skill to help us figure this out.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] But is totally staring at Deep River right now. > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Right.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, Merkis is not listening to this conversation.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] And the skill is that Merkis is really good at finding hiding spots. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] I believe-
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] That are linked to technology.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yep.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] That are linked to technology. And what is that skill called?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] It’s called Find Nemat.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Beta is like, you know, taking in the situation. She’s staring at Merkis, who is-
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Who is still staring at Deep River. > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Who’s staring at Deep River, and- > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] [sighing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] And obviously she’s feeling a little jealous, because she hasn’t felt a connection in days. You know? And she is the one who is really looking out for love, so it doesn’t really seem fair that Merkis might find it.
[laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] And-
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Oat is behind Combot, like, stumbling over debris, and like his eye is bleeding, and he’s like- [ IC as Oat ] Oh! Somebody help me!
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Oat] I can’t get- Ow! No? Nobody? No help? Okay. Oat’ll do fine by himself.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Ah, yeah. Beta’s not paying attention to that. And then, she clears her throat. [ IC ] Ahem! Merkis?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Ah! Uh- Yes, Beta?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] I believe you may be able to help us out with this?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] How do you mean?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] You know, your days of training to find pieces of technology that are far away?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, you mean my giant game of hide-of-seek where I found Meriks in the Far Bays!
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Yes, yes, yes, yes.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Ah. Meriks and Mariks were hiding in two very similar spots, and I
had to like, figure out and follow these tubes!
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Yes. Except this time we’re not looking for your brothers.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh. I- that’s not as fun! That’s not as fun.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] I- I know, I know.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Okay, so you mean, I’m playing hide-and-seek with the thing we’re looking for.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Essentially, yeah!
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Got it. [ OOC ] So, immediately Merkis looks up into the ceiling, and is starting to scan the room for little panels or for little like, light fixtures and everything. So, he has to burn 3 GRT and make a REA check, and get a success. 6 or higher, we find an interesting hole or pathway to what we’re looking for.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Okay.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] So, I’m going to buy 3. I’m going to burn 3 to add 3. Just in case, even though we’re rolling a d12. Oh! Great! That’s an 11.
[00:59:41] > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Oh, you did very well. Okay. So, here’s what happens. Merkis: You are looking at all of the panels, and the layout of the big mall that you’re in, this giant room, and you’re like, looking back and forth between that, and the thing that Zapp is holding, and sort of like, doing a one-to-one between the map and the room, and you can see that like, though there’s some technology that’s around, it’s really not a lot. There are lights, but they’re not really on. Like, the light is coming through the ceiling, but it’s also coming through these weird recessed gaps. And you can’t really see that much that would count as electronics. And when you look, just because you rolled so well, the navigational thing that Zapp is holding, is a piece of equipment that you’ve seen before. You know what this is, you trained with it for a little bit while you were becoming a Banshee. And it actually has a technology layer on it.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Oh!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] That you can enable, that Zapp just doesn’t have turned on. Which like, you know, it’s hard to do. It’s like weird, in like a deep menu thing, probably in a language that he doesn’t speak. And this thing has been to set to some weird language. Like, who know where he found this? You know, this is like finding a phone that is in Korean. And you’re like “Ope! I don’t know- I- Uh, whoa. Okay. Guess I have to do muscle memory.” But: You can do muscle memory. So you know how to get to the menu that turns on the technology layer. So-
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh, uh- Mister Zapp, may I...? May I...? [ OOC ] And reaches for the-
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] I suppose. [ OOC ] And he hands it to you.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] And Merkis is just like, kind of like Rubik’s Cube-ing it. Like,
someone who can solve it in like, thirty seconds.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] [making Rubik’s Cube noises]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] [making Rubik’s Cube noises]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And Zapp is looking on, like- [ IC ] Whoa, I didn’t know it did- How did you? Whoa.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Uh, oh, one moment, one moment. [making Rubik’s Cube noises] > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Whoa. My stars.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah, so, you can see- Yeah, there’s like, little rivulets. Little lines of bright pink that outline where, basically electricity is flowing. And you can see some dull lines around where there might be some recessed lighting. You can see a lot of the places that they have labeled are lightly glowing. You would be able- And do you like, switch the language over? You know, like, do you change it to something you can read?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah, to something we can understand, yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yeah. So, you can see that the Trajectory Sustenance, which is the thing that’s far below you, is what maintains the orbit of this planet, cause this planet is false. Or, not natural. This planet was installed around Terra. You can see that the Territory of the Keepers is the office where the cleanup crew works? Like, it’s the sanitation department, basically. You can see that the Capacity Nickelodeon is very, very bright, and this is the power station. You can see that the Utensil Library is tool storage. You can see that the Stability Midpoint, which is very many levels up and far north, is the security center. And you can see that there is one other location that is highlighted, that is like, a few kilometers in one direction over, and at the top of a tall spire, and you can see that it is labeled “Distance Liquidation”. There is some text that describes this as “The sales floor for intradimensional real estate.” This was not originally labeled. It looks like there is some piece of technology there that takes up a lot of power and definitely has to do with the collapsing of space and time.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Uh, Pop there- Do you remember climbing? Or going up a very tall height?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Dorito ] Pop here, you know, he climbs everywhere. He climbs up and down a lot of places. He’s not really clear on when he’s climbing or walking. And as you can see, we have to go up and down all of the time, yeah. We’re always climbing, and also we’re always not climbing.
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Pop ] I don’t understand what Dorito said, but I believe the
gist of it is true. It’s hard to separate out climbing and not climbing here.
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Remy is just- Remy gets out his flute and starts tootling.
[tranquil flute]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Just is totally ignoring this conversation, cause he-
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Dorito ] What the fuck do you think you’re doing? What are you doing? Put the flute away. Put the flute away!
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Only one flute player allowed.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] He keeps tootling. He’s tootling. [ IC ] What, you-
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Dorito ] There’s two flutes. There are two flutes on Gnarcossa, and they’re right here in my back pocket.
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Does this bother you, Dorito?
[tranquil flute continues]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Dorito ] Does it bother me? [suddenly frothing] Somebody hold me back! Somebody hold me back!
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Torres jumps in front of him. [ IC as Torres ] No! Don’t do it! Dorito, Dorito! Calm down! Do you want me to sing to you? Do you want me to sing to you?
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Dorito ] No! I don’t want you to sing, I want you to hold me back! I’m about to... [stammering]
[laughing] [flute ends]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [deep breath] [ IC as Torres ] [singing] Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high...
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Torres ] Come on, calm down. Breathe like we practiced. [singing] There’s a- [ IC as Dorito ] land that I dream of- [ IC as Torres ] Once in a lu- [ IC as Dorito ] lullaby...
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] I’m having a breakdown, can someone stop me, please? [laughing]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] No! Keep going! It’s so good!
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] I just wanted- I just wanted to see what would happen! [laughing]
[01:04:49] > Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Zapp looks at Pop and looks at Herr and looks at Dorito, and is like- [ IC ] You’re gonna have to excuse them, this- it is a real thing about the flutes. Anyways. Uh, you think it’s here? [ OOC ] And he points at this new, like, you know, brightly-lit pink area that you have identified as a piece of technology that has to do with time and space. He says- [ IC ] Uh, yeah. I mean, if you think that’s where it is, we can get there. It’s, uh- Looks like it’s at the top of the Plaats. Uh- It’s a bit of a walk, but it’s doable.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Yeah, it makes the most sense. It’s taking up a lot of power.
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] All right. Shall we?
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Yeah, how do you get around? Do you just walk everywhere? > Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Uh- yep.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Ugh.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Herr ] How do we get around, sugar? As carefully as we can. [laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Once we get to the Plaats, there may be some alternate methods of conveyance, but for now, it’s in everybody’s interest, for reasons I think you’ll see, that we just traverse the floor, by foot.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] All right! > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Okay!
> Mike / G.M.: [ IC ] Let’s mosey.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] Merkis, as you begin walking off, Deep River comes up to you and says- [ IC as Deep River ] Sometimes it can be hard to walk around here, because of all the trash. Will you hold my hand?
[laughing]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] [gasping] [weakly] Yes! Yes, okay! [ OOC ] Merkis is shaking.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] She takes your hand, and then just quietly walks alongside you.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] And just, Merkis is making tiny tea kettle noise as they walk. [high gasping]
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] And Beta is behind them, and she’s just whispering to Remy- [ IC ] I don’t understand it! She didn’t even fall over anything, and Merkis didn’t even- I just, it doesn’t make sense!
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Remy puts a hand on Beta’s shoulder and says- [ IC ] You know, sometimes it just happens that way. It is very rare-
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] [sighs]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] -but sometimes it happens. Cheer up, it’ll happen.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] [sighs] There’s so much to learn, there’s so much to learn! [slow pulsing music begins]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] The group of them, six gnomes and five fleeters, set off down the wide corridor, specks in the gargantuan mall-planet edifice of Tsune. They scramble over and trip around the dense architectural crumbles littering this once and eventually empty commercial goliath. From the Stiffworks terminus, it’s a several-kilometer walk to their destination, following this one wide tiled mezzanine of countless below and dozens, maybe a hundred overhead. To their left, an endless channel of air at the center of this vast atrium, dividing this corridor down its middle. And to their right, dozens of small shop squares, rhythmic, geometric, and empty, except for the piles of debris. Remnants of the otherwise unseen and far-off future of the Snakemen.
[slow pulsing music fades]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] There are a bunch of foldgates opening and closing in the distance.
Could someone roll a d6 for the group? > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] I got a 6. > Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Nice! Or-
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You got a 6? > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yes.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] All right.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Unless that’s bad.
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Uh, no! Yeah, there are a bunch of foldgates opening and closing and they stay in the distance, they do not come and bother you.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Ooh, good.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Good.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Who rolled? Who was the one that did the roll? > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Beta.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Beta, you find a- you don’t know what this is, but you find in the rubble, somehow, a perfectly crisp, one dollar American bill.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] [gasp] > Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Hm!
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] I pick it up, and I say- [ IC ] [gasp] Is this some sort of romance novel? Look at this- look at this man here!
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ IC ] Maybe luck’s on your side, Beta. Maybe luck is on your side!
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] I’m gonna have to take this to the Archive! And research it before I
give it to the Company!
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You traverse the space of the mall. Every once in a while, the gnomes sort of like, stop and look at one another, and point at one of the empty storefronts, and like, look at one another. Pop pulls out a little piece of gear that he has slung on his belt, and like, types some numbers into it. Looks like a big calculator with a dull green electronic screen. And they look at one another and shake their heads. And sometimes they stop in front of one, and, you know, like, Zapp will go in and he’ll stick his head in, and he’ll come out and he’ll shake his head no.
[01:09:48] And after a little while, after they’ve stopped and looked at a couple places, they duck into this room that looks like a shoe store with no shoes. It’s got these tall shelves with these long spaces on the side. There’s nothing in it, it’s all grey, it’s kinda dimly lit. And Pop takes out this piece of gear again and types into something. And he points. Zapp goes in and rummages and comes out, and shakes his head. And then he puts his finger up, and points, puts his finger up again, and then there’s a really loud popping sound? Like a tire has exploded. And then the store is just full of stuff.
[loud pop]
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] [gasp]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] It is just, in an instant, completely full of items. > Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Oh!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] It is also completely engulfed in flames.
[the crackling of flames]
[gasps]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] It is- where you are standing is now extremely hot, and you’re standing in front of a burning store. And the dwarves all look at one another and look kind of dejected.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Aw.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Zapp like, looks at everybody who’s disappointed, and then looks at you noticing that they’re disappointed, and explains, and he says- [ IC ] Uh, sometimes when they arrive, you don’t know what state they’re gonna be in. Once we got a communications technology retailer that was just encased in acidic green jelly. Really don’t wanna know what that day was like on the other side of time. But anyways, don’t worry about it too much, the outer walls of all of the units are fire and blast proof, so it won’t spread. If you wanna venture in, you can, but uh, we usually don’t. Not the burning ones, at least.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ IC ] No, none of us are fireproof I’m afraid.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] If you would like to go in, your exosuits will protect you from the fire for a very short amount of time. You can basically go in and grab the first thing that you can get your hands on, and see if it’s anything of interest.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] This is the first items that we’re seeing that are not just debris. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] True.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Yes.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] And we’re gonna have to smooth things over with the Company, because no matter what we do, we’re probably gonna-
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] Be in trouble. > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Be in trouble.
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Mhm.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] So, Beta, weighing this option-these options, and thinking- [ IC ] Well, and if I do get burnt a little, that’s an experience in itself- [ OOC ] decides to run in.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] As you run by, Dorito says- [ IC as Dorito ] Take me with you!
[laughing]
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Dorito ] Take me inside and protect me!
[laughing]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Remy sees Beta running and immediately follows.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Do you actually pick up Dorito, and bring Dorito into the burning- > Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] [laughing] No, no.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] All right.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ IC as Dorito ] I want what they have!
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Meatwad...
[laughing]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] That’s it! I was trying to place it, that’s right.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] That’s what it is!
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] I’m sorry.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] That’s great.
[laughing]
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Ruining it...
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] So, yeah, do you turn on your bubble helmets so that your heads don’t get burned?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yes.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Yeah, yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Okay, so yeah, you have probably about three minutes in there before you start to just succumb to just how hot it is.
[crackling fire increases in volume]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And yeah, you get it, it’s extremely hot, and there is just a bunch of weird product. You don’t recognize what any of it is. Looks like it might be technology of some kind, lined up on all of these shelves. You can see that there are- there’s like, a cash register, there’s posters. You can’t read any of them because they’re completely aflame. But like, this was a full and complete store - there’s a carpet, the carpet’s on fire - that was just completely transmitted here out of time. Roll a d20 and don’t roll above a 12.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] I got a 11.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] 9.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Nice, okay, great. So, neither of you- your exosuits withstand the fire.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Phew.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You do well. And you do not get burned, and you do not damage anything that’s on you. Each of you roll a d4?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Okay-
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] 2.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] I got a 1.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Beta, you- It’s like, really, really hot. It’s hard to see, and it’s hard to like, look around. You’re just having trouble, like, you know there’s things around, but you can’t really make anything out, just because it’s all on fire, and it’s all kind of charred. So you just like, grab the first thing that you can, and you leave.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yeah.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Cause it’s just way too intense. And you get something that’s roughly
the size of the palm of your hand.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Okay.
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Remy, you just kind of push through a little bit, and you see some of the small stuff. You’re like, “Okay, I’m gonna pass on that,” like, “I’m gonna try to get something that’s a little bit bigger.” And you manage to grab something that’s like, roughly the size of a textbook. And you get outta there.
[crackling flames fade into the background]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] We’re gonna do the same thing that we did last time. I’m gonna roll on a random table after we’re done playing, and I will let you know the next time we record what that thing is.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] Yay! > Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Sick!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] And yeah, it will be determined on a random table of the kinds of things that would be in this store, that was transported to Gnarcossa from 150 million years in the future, after 100 million years in the future. So, this is- Yeah, you will have some 250 million years in the future Snakeman consumer technology.
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Ooh!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You come out and Zapp is like- [ IC ] Color me impressed! I mean,
color me grey, but also: color me impressed.
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] And Merkis is standing on tippietoes- [ IC ] Did you see any shoes in there?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] Ugh, I couldn’t really- > Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Did we?
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] -see anything, I kinda- [01:15:00] > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] Oh...
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ IC ] It was so hot!
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] Nah, none of you saw anything resembling shoes. Yeah. No shoes. > Jenn / “Merkis”: [ IC ] One can still dream! [sigh]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] The gnomes are not interested in going into the burning building, so they leave it behind. And yeah, you are now walking through the white landscape of this rubble-filled mall again, with a bright yellow and orange burning room behind you on the horizon.
[flames subside entirely]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] As you walk for a little while, you can see that in the distance, on your path, there’s a sort of interruption in the regular pace of these square and rectangular shops amongst the debris. And that, at one point, it stops being these regular cubes of what eventually will be Snakeman businesses, and just becomes this very long, very tall spire.
[low throbbing drone begins]
That looks like it just goes through every floor, all the way down as far as you can see, and all of the way up, as far as you can see. It’s just the same white-grey panel as everything else, but this, you can’t see inside of it. There’s no broken glass that you can see through, it’s just opaque white. Kind of like the monolith from 2001, but like someone painted it eggshell. And as it comes into view, Zapp points at it and says- [ IC ] That’s the Plaats. That’s where we’re headed.
[low throbbing drone continues and eventually fades] [Main Theme begins]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] You are now leaving Float City. Thanks for listening. If you like the show, do a tweet about it! Tweet it out to your pals! Or, uh, however you would describe the people that follow you on social media. You can even tweet the tweet that I have left in the show notes. And of course, you can support the show at patreon.com/funcityventures. Thanks to all of our current Patrons for help keeping this ship afloat.
[Main Theme ends] [Outro Theme begins]
> Bijan / “Remy”: [ OOC ] Hi, I’m Bijan Stephen, and I play Remy Tester on Float City. You can find me online on Twitter @bijanstephen (B-I-J-A-N, S-T-E-P-H-E-N), on Twitch at the same name, and on Instagram @bijancakes (B-I-J-A-N, cakes).
> Jenn / “Merkis”: [ OOC ] I’m Jenn de la Vega. I play Merkis Imeldar. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram @randwiches. That’s the word “sandwiches”, but replace the “S” with an “R”.
> Shannon / “Beta”: [ OOC ] This is Shannon Odell. I play Beta Combot. You can find me on social @shodell.
> Nick / “Vynos”: [ OOC ] Hello, this is Nick Guercio, and I play Lux on Fun City and Vynos on Float City. You can find me @nicholasguercio on Twitter, and @nguercio on Instagram. You spell Guercio G-U-E-R-C-I-O.
> Taylor / “The Bad Boys”: [ OOC ] I’m Taylor Moore and I play all the cool, interesting characters. You can follow me @taylordotbiz. [villanous chuckle]
> Mike / G.M.: [ OOC ] My name is Mike Rugnetta, I am your G.M. and you can find me on Twitter and Instagram @mikerugnetta.
You can find the show on Twitter and Instagram @funcityventures. Float City is played in a soon-to-be-released system called Stillfleet, which you can find on Twitter, Instagram and Patreon @stillfleet.
This episode of Float City was recorded at various locations around Brooklyn, New York. It was produced, edited, and sound designed by me, Mike Rugnetta.
“Ah! How shall Pixlriffs submit to this dark mansion? Ah! How is this? Once on the heights, he stretch’d his throne sublime.”
Fun City’s music is by Sam Tyndall, Remy’s flute playing is by Jake Fridkis. our art is by Tess Stone, our Discord mods are Olivia Gulin, Kit Pulliam, and Kestrel, and the voice of Artemis is Molly Templeton.
[Outro Theme ends]