Fun City

3: Dueling Baltos

Episode Summary

The team visits Balto at home.

Episode Notes

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@funcityventures is the show

@bijanstephen is TK
@randwiches is Viv
@nguersh is Luxe
and @shodell is Lash

@taylordotbiz is the bad boys and
@mikerugnetta is everything else


Recorded at Fortunate Horse in Greenpoint BK
Produced, edited and sound designed by Mike Rugnetta

Our music is by Sam Tyndall -
Our art is by Tess Stone -


CC-BY licensed SFX used:

Episode Transcription

This transcript was exported on Oct 28, 2019 - view latest version here.



Speaker 1:​In the early 21st century, magic reawakened on earth and alongside it a new humanrace with orcs, elves, trolls, dwarves and others. Humanity became meta-humanity. Astechnology proliferated and greatly advanced in the awakened world, global megacorporations seized ever more power, becoming de facto states with their own laws, courts, and armed forces. The corporations attempt to control all aspects of modern life. This has led to a vast and complex criminal underground, which works for and againstcorporate interests. The independent career criminals who do what others can't or won'tare called Shadowrunners. The year is 2101. Welcome to Fun City.

Speaker 2:​Previously on Fun City, the team was hired by a rich New Jersey Mr Johnson called[Urie]. The job? Steal a boat trapped within the vast razor wire enclosure of JastReclamation, the scrapyard at the far end of the Brooklyn Archipelago. Urie will payextra for info on how Jast makes his money. Their rigger, [Gabriel], tells them that Jast isan arms dealer and manufacturer, rare and dangerous work. While casing the joint, Vivasenses an extremely powerful magician and a spectacular magical force atop which Jastappears to be built. The team is briefly accosted by a jet ski riding Jast security guardnamed [Balto Cuddle]. He becomes convinced they are not criminals but a bacheloretteparty in search of their next drink.

​We learn later that his boss is not so convinced. We join the team back on the roof of the Miragewhere they plot their next move.

Speaker 3:​So what we're looking at is a very well fortified complex.

Speaker 4:​Trash dump.

Speaker 3:​Trash dump/complex.

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​There's only one thing that enters it appears, and that is large ships filled with scrap. There's only one thing that leaves, and that's empty scrap ships. So, we have to find a wayto get in. There's a lot of armed people ... Trolls, and orcs, and things.

Speaker 5:​Yeah, they're people too.

Speaker 3:​Yeah, no, they're people. I'm just trying to [crosstalk] ... Think of the word for theinclusive term. With guns and things, so we would probably want to get on the boat oncewe find out which of the four it is covertly. Once we leave, we also need an exit planbecause it doesn't seem like we're going to be able to drive it through any of the cage linkwalls or anything. We'll have to come out the way the scraps ships are coming out. So, that's like going back through a protective bottleneck. We know there's a powerful mage. We'll have to have a plan for that as well. Am I missing anything here guys?

Speaker 4:​There seems to be a watch tower in the center, what perhaps controls the entrance andthe flow.

Speaker 3:​Unless you guys want to talk strategy right now, I could start working on a disguise. Disguise myself as Mr Balto.

Speaker 6:​The idea is to disguise ourselves as this orc, or you disguise yourself as this orc, andthen get the information. First get the information of which boat it is, right? And thenwhat is the plan? How are we going to get this actual ship out?

Speaker 3:​My dimension here might literally just be for me to get into the control room and keepthe door open for you guys to leave. I don't know how much else I'm going to be able todo.

Speaker 5:​Can we get on one of the ships going in?

Speaker 3:​I think that was our basic plan of getting in.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. And I guess stashing Gabe somewhere.

Speaker 4:​Yeah, Gabe probably shouldn't be with us.

Speaker 5:​Well, he needs to drive the-

Speaker 4:​Yeah. Oh no, should be with us. Sorry.

Speaker 5:​Yeah, I'm sorry, wait, what?

Speaker 4:​Sorry.

Speaker 5:​How are we going to rig this without a rigger?

Speaker 8:​Take it easy, Gabe!

Speaker 3:​Wait, what's the plan first to figure out what the boat is? What's the plan first to figureout which boat it is?

Speaker 5:​I think we have to just check them individually.

Speaker 3:​I took a picture of them on my comm and should I try sending that to Yuri and see if hecould just pick it out for us? And be like, "That's the one."

Speaker 4:​That could be-

Speaker 5:​Worth a shot.

Speaker 4:​Yeah. Why not.

Speaker 3:​Okay, I'll do that now.

Speaker 7:​You did do a circuit around Jast and you were able to take a pretty good photo of thefour boats that you saw that are candidates. One of them is just a normal, old, war ship. It's floating in water, it's covered in oblong camo pattern, like a semi modern war shipwould look. One of them is completely rusted and beyond repair. It's got holes in it and isnot looking so good. One of them is covered in cartoon animals, it's been painted a muralon all sides and the animals appear to be drinking liquor. They're drunken animalcartoons.

Speaker 5:​Are you saying this is a party boat?

Speaker 7:​And one of them is actually an old USS constitution style Corvette. Like an oldwooden ship, three masts, that's up on stilts in a dry dock.

Speaker 6:​If Yuri can't confirm which boat it is, I can mind probe Balto.

Speaker 5:​I'm going to guess it's the Corvette.

Speaker 3:​We'll need to get Balto anyway because there can't be two Baltos.

Speaker 6:​Sure.

Speaker 3:​So we should maybe try to attract Balto with another bachelorette party.

Speaker 4:​Bachelorette party.

Speaker 6:​Yes. This is my thought with a bachelorette party. We're on a scavenger hunt. Bachelorette parties love doing scavenger hunt.

Speaker 3:​Oh, they do.

Speaker 6:​And you have to get a ship with cartoon characters on the side.

Speaker 3:​Oh, right.

Speaker 4:​We saw one in there.

Speaker 3:​Yeah. Okay. That's a good.

Speaker 5:​Because that'll definitely get us in. Yeah, yeah. For sure.

Speaker 3:​Yeah. So wait, we'll knock out-

Speaker 8:​The place is a fortress, but they got one way in.

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 6:​And it's a bachelorette party. [crosstalk]

Speaker 8:​Out bachelorette parties.

Speaker 7:​Listen. Balto seemed amenable.

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. He did.

Speaker 3:​We draw Balto out. We were going to have to club Balto. I hate to be that guy, butyeah. And your mind probing-

Speaker 6:​Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Speaker 3:​That can help us. If we can't figure out the boat by Yuri getting back to us, we could dothat.

Speaker 6:​Okay.

Speaker 3:​Then we'll have the boat. We'll have a way in at least. I can maybe hide you in someshit in Balto's boat or we could get in one of the scrap ships. We still need to-

Speaker 5:​We should take Balto's boat back in.

Speaker 3:​Yes. We still need to A, hope that Balto is on patrol and he's not off. And B, we stillneed a way to get on the ship.

Speaker 5:​I think we should just do this live, frankly. I think we'll be all right. This is too much plan.

Speaker 6:​Yeah. I think we should mind probe Balto for all he has. Any information [crosstalk] Ifwe have him bound, we can probe him all we want. Right?

Speaker 3:​Yeah. We can keep probing.

Speaker 6:​Cool.

Speaker 3:​Like a UFO.

Speaker 6:​I could always probe more than once.

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​Viv has mad probes.

Speaker 4:​And is there anything we want to do because we know there are so many guns in there. In terms of armoring up, is there anything we can do?

Speaker 3:​So do you have like a barrier spell?

Speaker 4:​I have protect vehicle.

Speaker 3:​Okay. It's not the same thing.

Speaker 5:​We can protect the boat.

Speaker 3:​Oh, but we can protect the boat.

Speaker 4:​Exactly.

Speaker 3:​Shit. We stay on the boat.

Speaker 6:​Can you protect the entire ship once we're on there?

Speaker 4:​That could very well kill me, but-

Speaker 5:​It's all right.

Speaker 3:​Just wanted to bring up the biggest spiciest pickle in that pickle jar, which is the mage, dangerous mage that is running the place. Also do we want to start thinking about howwe figure out how he's turning the scrap into good stuff for our bonus egg?

Speaker 6:​We could see what, the orc man, how much he knows.

Speaker 3:​Okay we'll see what [crosstalk]

Speaker 6:​He probably knows nothing but-

Speaker 4:​He might know the location of where it's happening.

Speaker 6:​Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 3:​How do we beat a mage? Are you going to punch him TK?

Speaker 5:​If I get closer to punch him, I got one punch.

Speaker 3:​All right.

Speaker 4:​It helps if they're unconscious. Don't have to kill them, but you can-

Speaker 5:​Oh, I'm definitely going to kill this person.

Speaker 4:​Remember I do have my [narco jack] and my blow gun.

Speaker 6:​That's right.

Speaker 5:​Oh, yeah, we just blow gun him.

Speaker 6:​There you go.

Speaker 3:​I wish that wasn't plan A, but okay.

Speaker 4:​I would have to be so close, to blow gun him.

Speaker 7:​You get a message back from Uri after a few minutes and he lets you know that of thephotos you sent him, his boat is definitely not the old school wooden one.

Speaker 3:​Oh good.

Speaker 6:​What?

Speaker 3:​Probably not the one with the holes in it. So we really have to choose between theparty boat and the battle boat.

Speaker 5:​It's probably the party boat.

Speaker 3:​Let's hope that Balto knows. Did he have animals in his his bank/-

Speaker 7:​No. He had like a bunch of fine art.

Speaker 3:​Okay. That's not the same thing. Is it?

Speaker 8:​No. 19th century Hudson Valley school realism.

Speaker 3:​Right.

Speaker 7:​Also it was a [Rite Aid].

Speaker 3:​Sorry. As this we record everything. Okay. Well, I'm going to go start making mydisguise. Do I need to do my test for a disguise now when I make it, or when I go to useit?

Speaker 7:​How this works, is whatever number of hits you get, is the number of hits that someonemust beat in order to recognize that you are not who you claim to be.

Speaker 4:​Is there like a teamwork test for building disguises?

Speaker 7:​Yeah. I would allow it only if you also have this skill.

Speaker 4:​And what is it?

Speaker 3:​It is disguise.

Speaker 7:​I believe it is disguise. Yeah.

Speaker 4:​Oh, no.

Speaker 3:​So I'm rolling nine.

Speaker 7:​Though, actually, what I will allow specifically, is for Lash to help Luxe because youare an orc and he is trying to impersonate it.

Speaker 3:​Oh, yay.

Speaker 4:​Oh, yay.

Speaker 6:​I love this.

Speaker 3:​All right.

Speaker 8:​Loves Lash sculpting this illusion around Luxe.

Speaker 7:​So hold on, Luxe.

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​Her success rate is going to determine how many dice you roll.

Speaker 3:​Okay. Wow.

Speaker 7:​So add two D6 to your pool.

Speaker 3:​Nice.

Speaker 8:​Stay in the mic.

Speaker 3:​Nice. Oh my goodness. It wasn't a good roll. I got two. I'm going to have to use anedge, I think. Or else we're going to have a terrible disguise.

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 5:​He's going to be walking around with a T-shirt that says, "I'm an orc."

Speaker 3:​Yeah. This right now I think is-

Speaker 7:​It has to be about orc.

Speaker 3:​Right now it's a T-shirt and a button. I might have some sunglasses. So I'm going touse an edge.

Speaker 7:​Okay. We're exiting that universe and entering an additional universe after thespending of an edge.

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​Will you re-roll. All right, go ahead.

Speaker 3:​Slightly better. Yes. All right. I'll take it.

Speaker 6:​Okay. That's five.

Speaker 7:​Is that five?

Speaker 3:​Five. It's pretty close to my limit.

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​Did you get a picture of this guy or is this from memory?

Speaker 3:​I do have to photographic-

Speaker 7:​You have photographic memory, so you know?

Speaker 3:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​So you're fine.

Speaker 3:​It doesn't matter.

Speaker 7:​You don't need that.

Speaker 3:​Okay. So yes, I used Lash's face. I did a big silicone type material that we don't haveyet, but it's better because it actually can sweat, it has some ability to mimic your actualfacial expressions and moves. Yeah, there's some simulated blood flow that can happen. Like if you get embarrassed or things like that, it can change colors and things like that. It's a really cool material. But I used Lash's face to start the base and then I craft based onthe top of that. And I have some other little tricks that I don't talk about to make a reallygood disguise.

Speaker 4:​And I have a five.

Speaker 7:​Lash, how do you feel about Luxe's orc disguise?

Speaker 4:​I am impressed by it. Strangely attracted to it.

Speaker 7:​I think that's a good sign.

Speaker 3:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​Okay. You now have another orc in your midst. Luxe has vanished and in his place tothe eyes of the rest of the team, a perfect photocopy of Balto Cuddle.

Speaker 5:​You should probably hide when we come across Balto, so he's not like, "Wait asecond."

Speaker 3:​Yeah. I'll do that.

Speaker 4:​Unless you want to add a mustache to it, and be my brother.

Speaker 3:​Okay. I'll do that. I like that better.

Speaker 5:​So you slap a fake mustache on?

Speaker 3:​Yeah.

Speaker 5:​On top of the face that you made?

Speaker 3:​Yeah.

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​With big glasses, a hat.

Speaker 5:​Oh. Did you get the nose? Do you have the glasses, nose, mustache-

Speaker 7:​With the [Groucho Marx]

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​Groucho Marx, yeah. I'm trying to remember if Balto's voice. Should I do a memorytest for that?

Speaker 7:​I wouldn't worry about it.

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. Anything suitably henchmen like, I will give you a pass.

Speaker 3:​Okay, good. Thank you.

Speaker 5:​All right, let's go. Let's do this.

Speaker 6:​Is there anything else?

Speaker 5:​Let's get this bachelorette party popping.

Speaker 6:​Do we need to prepare in any other way?

Speaker 3:​Well, I think we're really hoping that your probing of Balto can-

Speaker 6:​I will probe him-

Speaker 3:​When you probe him over and over again, that'll help us a lot and we'll get some goodinformation.

Speaker 5:​Pretty sure I can punch it out of him too.

Speaker 3:​All right. Probe and punch.

Speaker 7:​So it is the early evening, probably like just before dark. Are you guys going back toJast? Are you going to try to go to Balto's house? Where do you want to go?

Speaker 3:​That's not a bad idea actually, if we were to go to Balto's house. TK or Lash do you think you can find where Balto Cuddle lives? [crosstalk] It would be easier. It would benice though, if he was in his boat and he came to get us and then we could grab his boat. Otherwise, I don't know if we're going to be able to just know ... We can probe him abunch.

Speaker 5:​But is it a work boat or a home boat?

Speaker 3:​It's definitely a work boat.

Speaker 4:​More of a jet ski, right? Small.

Speaker 3:​It's a jet ski?

Speaker 5:​It was a jet ski.

Speaker 3:​We can't all get on a jet ski guys.

Speaker 5:​We'll have Gabriel take his NB ... On the regular vessel that he found. The fucking fanpowered-

Speaker 8:​The skimmer.

Speaker 5:​The fan powered skimmer.

Speaker 3:​So we're going to have to sneak onto a scrap vessel?

Speaker 5:​Yes. We're going to have to do that. But let's just go. Let's go.

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 5:​Let's go snatch Balto up from ... When does he get off?

Speaker 7:​You don't know, but in theory, past business hours.

Speaker 3:​He was doing the day shift. Do you want to just see if we can find him?

Speaker 5:​Yeah. I'll do a matrix search and see if I can find Balto's house. Let's see. That's threeplus five, that's eight dice. This is a D20. What's that doing-

Speaker 8:​Get that garbage out of here.

Speaker 5:​All right. I'm rolling eight for a matrix search for Balto's house. That is two hits. It's not a great roll.

Speaker 4:​I can try to also do a matrix search.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. You should do that too. Can we do this as a teamwork test?

Speaker 7:​I would allow that.

Speaker 5:​Yeah.

Speaker 6:​You said computer plus intuition.

Speaker 7:​Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Speaker 6:​Okay.

Speaker 3:​What if we had like sports style post-game interviews after roles?

Speaker 7:​What were you thinking there?

Speaker 8:​Oh, it was a bad miss.

Speaker 5:​It was a miss. We did our best.

Speaker 8:​The dice weren't working in our favor today.

Speaker 5:​All right Lash. You ready?

Speaker 4:​Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Speaker 7:​That's three hits. Three hits this time.

Speaker 4:​I am rolling 10. I might only have three. Yeah, it's three.

Speaker 7:​How do you feel about that roll? I'm doing a post game interview.

Speaker 4:​I feel not great.

Speaker 7:​What do you think you could have done better?

Speaker 4:​I think I could've gotten more fives and sixes.

Speaker 7:​This is great. This is really coming into the, like David Foster Wallace asking athletesabout their physical skill is like trying to ask someone to describe something in wordsthat doesn't exist in words. We just really wanted it. We just wanted it more.

Speaker 5:​We did. Speaking of wanting it more.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. You cruise through a bunch of public records for the islands along that make upthe Brooklyn Archipelago, just hoping maybe that like Balto is the kind of guy that liveswhere he works, works where he lives, isn't too far away from where you saw him, andyou do in fact find a very small Island that is registered to one Balto Cuddle and you getan exact location on it.

Speaker 5:​Let's go ambush this guy at home.

Speaker 3:​You ready to probe?

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​Let's go probe this boy.

Speaker 6:​About what time of night is it right now?

Speaker 7:​It's like seven o'clock.

Speaker 6:​Okay. Great.

Speaker 7:​Gabriel.

Speaker 2:​As the team strategizes, Gabriel [Auciman] sits outside on the fan boat in one of thetattered leather couches lashed to it. Soft thuds of dance music issue from the tinyspeakers on his calm. The surface of his corneas, flicker and his short tattooed fingerstwitch as he ransacks the library of skillsets he's collected in his long career. He wouldlike to help these kids succeed. He would like more than anything to be out from underUri's thumb. He performs a series of manic matrix searches reading up on contemporaryNavy warships, their engines, wireless and rigor command console interfaces to them. The calm washes over him. It all has a ring of familiarity. Even if their boat, Uri's boat iscutting edge, not much could have changed since his days in the corporate Navy. As longas it has an engine and not sails, they're chill.

​When the team emerges from the Mirage and asks again for a ride towards Jast, Gabe tenses, butsuppose this is the best way out, is through, it always is. He loses his thoughts in therumbling hum of the skimmer's motor, the splashing of the East River. They arrive at asmall nondescript home Island. The jet ski parked outside.

Speaker 3:​So we pull up to the Island. What do we see?

Speaker 7:​Yeah. So it is a rare land Island. It is actually made of ground. It is not a floating[inaudible]. And on it is just this small, very humble, little, like half a ranch house paintedlight blue. And you do see the jet ski parked out in front of it. So you know this is theright place. You recognize this, especially you, Mr photographic memory. That is the one.

Speaker 3:​That's it.

Speaker 7:​You don't see anybody outside it, but the lights are on inside.

Speaker 6:​Though I need to be able to touch him, to mind probe. So I would need help.

Speaker 3:​Can you just blow gun him? Although he does need to be awake to probe, huh?

Speaker 6:​No.

Speaker 5:​Oh, doesn't need to be awake. Oh yeah, let's blow gun this guy. What we should do is, Luxe, you should knock on the door.

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 5:​And so he answers and he'll be like, "Wait, that's me," and then you can blow gun himbecause he'll be startled.

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 6:​Okay.

Speaker 3:​I think that sounds good.

Speaker 6:​What are we going to do if he has a family?

Speaker 3:​Oh wow. We didn't think about having a family.

Speaker 5:​No. He's got a single jet ski. Come on, man. This guy's a bachelor.

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​Yeah. You have a family, if you only have a single jet ski.

Speaker 5:​If it's a family of jet skis.

Speaker 3:​So I'm going to go knock on the door. He's going to go, "What?" And then you're just going to pop out from behind me and blow gun him in the neck. Does that sound goodLash? All right. Let's go.

Speaker 5:​I'm going to stand beside the door just in case you miss.

Speaker 3:​Thank you TK. TK, if we miss, please punch him very hard in the face.

Speaker 5:​I will punch him very hard in the face.

Speaker 3:​Thank you. Viv you ready to probe this boy?

Speaker 6:​Yeah. Viv is standing behind the group.

Speaker 3:​Don't go easy on him. I walk up to the door and ...

Speaker 7:​You hear from the other side of the door, a familiar voice.

Speaker 4:​What skill is this going to be? Me blow gunning.

Speaker 6:​You don't have a combat skill associated with blowguns?

Speaker 4:​No.

Speaker 7:​I think it's an exotic weapon. So I think you have to have an exotic-

Speaker 3:​Yeah. You have exotic weapon skill?

Speaker 4:​No. Well, just agility.

Speaker 7:​No. You can't default an exotic weapon because there's no-

Speaker 4:​Okay.

Speaker 7:​You don't swallow on your dart.

Speaker 3:​I have-

Speaker 4:​Wait a minute.

Speaker 3:​Okay. I have pepper spray, but do we want to just pepper spray this guy and then-

Speaker 4:​Sit on him?

Speaker 3:​Yeah. And then sit on him? TK, just punch him in the face.

Speaker 6:​Yeah. Let's just do the punch. Let's do the punch.

Speaker 7:​You hear from the other side of the door of very familiar voice, a general henchmantype voice going-

Speaker 8:​Yeah. Hold on just a second.

Speaker 7:​And you hear some light rustling and the door swings open quickly and there you seeBalto and around his knees, his two kids.

Speaker 6:​No.

Speaker 5:​I'm gonna kill their dad.

Speaker 7:​And he says-

Speaker 8:​Uh, uh, uh.

Speaker 7:​And then he looks past you and sees Lash and he's like-

Speaker 8:​Oh, hold on. I know you. You're from the bachelorette party. But you, you're ... Are you me?

Speaker 7:​And he pushes his kids back, and starts to reach-

Speaker 5:​TK punches him.

Speaker 7:​Roll it, my dude.

Speaker 4:​Oh, man.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. So I'm going to use my ... I have the one martial arts skill that I've learned andit's just the show you can ... So picture that when this happens.

​That's fours hits. That's four hits baby.

Speaker 7:​So Balto rolls, reaction plus intuition. So your net hits are two. Let's say that he's stillin his work clothes. So he's got a damage reduction of-

Speaker 8:​His armor jacket is nine, body plus armor.

Speaker 7:​Plus armor.

Speaker 8:​I roll. Okay.

Speaker 7:​That's a lot of dice. Jesus Christ, Balto. What the fuck?

Speaker 8:​He's an orc man.

Speaker 7:​He's also a guard at arms dealer.

Speaker 8:​A bad guy.

Speaker 7:​Oh my God. Oh, this is ...

Speaker 8:​Seven.

Speaker 7:​What's a grazing hit? You connect and do you knock him down, but only because he'ssurprised. You don't get him under the chin. You get him in the chest. You stop him fromgrabbing whatever he was reaching for, as he was reaching to the inside of the door.

Speaker 5:​So is he falling inside his house?

Speaker 7:​He's falling inside his house. And as you do this, his kids scream and run to the otherside of the house.

Speaker 5:​Perfect.

Speaker 7:​They start shouting for their mother. And Balto is on his back, but he's about to get up. I think we are now in initiative.

Speaker 5:​Hell yeah. All right. Let's kill the family.

Speaker 4:​No.

Speaker 3:​We can't.

Speaker 6:​How big are the kids? We would know this just by seeing them. Right? How old are they?

Speaker 7:​They're like four.

Speaker 6:​They're young. They're little ones.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. But since they're orcs, they're like human maybe 10.

Speaker 3:​I'm going to go and try to round up the kids and the wife and put them in a room. Although honestly the wife, if she's an orc, is probably bigger and stronger than I am.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. But you have a weapon of some kind. [crosstalk]

Speaker 3:​Pepper spray. I don't want to pepper spray this poor woman.

Speaker 5:​You can still talk to her. She doesn't know.

Speaker 3:​Okay. I'll talk to her.

Speaker 5:​No. Her kids are screaming, there's no talking anymore.

Speaker 3:​We have to talk to her.

Speaker 7:​So for better or worse, in initiative order, TK acts first.

Speaker 3:​I only have one thing and it's punch.

Speaker 4:​I think you got to punch him again.

Speaker 7:​You are more than your past, TK.

Speaker 5:​You don't know that. No. My thing is, what I'm going to do is, here's my strategy. I'mgoing to punch him until I can't punch him anymore and then we can heal him, if heneeds healing.

Speaker 6:​I just need him to not move, so I can probe him.

Speaker 5:​So I'm probably get to go twice, right?

Speaker 7:​Yes.

Speaker 5:​Okay. So the first thing I'm going to do is punch him. The second thing I'm doing is I'm going to sit on him. First punch, I guess that's this many dice again. But he's on theground, so do I get any bonuses?

Speaker 7:​He's up.

Speaker 5:​He just got up?

Speaker 7:​Yeah.

Speaker 8:​Hoo!

Speaker 5:​That's three hits. Not a good one.

Speaker 7:​Describe what you do.

Speaker 5:​He's backup. So I aim better this time and try and hit him in the face.

Speaker 7:​So you're like winding up.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. Winding up the big cyber arm.

Speaker 7:​Okay.

Speaker 5:​Going for a face punch. I can't believe I've never asked you this team, but can youfight?

Speaker 6:​Yes.

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​I have pepper spray.

Speaker 7:​The exact same thing happens.

Speaker 5:​God damn it.

Speaker 7:​You wind up and you clock him straight in the chest and you knock him down again. But he's going to get up again very quickly.

Speaker 5:​How much damage has he taken?

Speaker 6:​He gets knocked down.

Speaker 7:​He has not taken any damage.

Speaker 5:​He has not taken any damage.

Speaker 7:​It's almost like maybe punching things isn't the answer to every problem.

Speaker 5:​Wrong. Incorrect.

Speaker 7:​So he's down again the next person to act is Lash.

Speaker 4:​Okay. I'm thinking that I do some flip and smack him with my legs. Some kind ofgymnast.

Speaker 7:​He's already on the ground.

Speaker 4:​I know. But just to try to do some damage. Because I have a gymnast skill.

Speaker 3:​Yeah. Roll dice.

Speaker 4:​And maybe in the flip, hit him and then get myself at a different angle that I'm not rightfront of him. Maybe I'll be behind him after that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do a, Lash runs and using her years of gymnast training, she launches herself into this star fishkick.

Speaker 7:​Can you describe that please? I want to know what this looks like.

Speaker 4:​It's like, hands down first, legs going to the side and smacking.

Speaker 7:​I'm extremely into it.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. I don't know what this is, but I like it.

Speaker 7:​Yeah.

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​I mean-

Speaker 5:​TK takes a second, and he's like, "You could do that?"

Speaker 7:​So does the universe. You are going to have to roll ... Yeah, do you have a Meleecombat skill?

Speaker 4:​I have gymnastics.

Speaker 3:​Can you just hold him down? Because we don't need to hurt this guy at all. We need toknow what's in his brain and if she probes him then he'll just go [crosstalk]

Speaker 4:​What if I do on a flip behind him to grab his arms?

Speaker 5:​Wait. He's on the ground. You could just do a flip and then land sitting on him.

Speaker 3:​Yeah. Why don't you [crosstalk]

Speaker 4:​Okay. I just want to use my gymnastics skills everyone.

Speaker 3:​Okay. Well, yeah. [inaudible]

Speaker 4:​Can I flip and body slam him in the-

Speaker 7:​Absolutely. And because that's more of like, you just want to make contact and not dodamage, I would allow you to just do a straight gymnastics role.

Speaker 4:​Yes. I'm going to do that. My modifier is natural athlete.

Speaker 7:​This is exactly what one would imagine the natural athlete attributes would be puttowards, sitting on a male.

Speaker 4:​Well, it comes in handy.

Speaker 7:​What more natural use for this is there?

Speaker 4:​Yeah. I'm going to really sit on him. Oh yeah.

Speaker 7:​If you get at least four. Oh my God.

Speaker 4:​I got 12. No, I got six out of 12.

Speaker 3:​And only one one.

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​Hold on. [crosstalk] Is that half of your dice pool?

Speaker 4:​Yeah. It's half of it.

Speaker 7:​Tell us what happened.

Speaker 4:​Okay. Lash has been waiting for this moment. She sees a perfect opportunity to dowhat she calls a clam flip. That is not the name of it by anyone else's means, but that'swhat she calls it. So she jumps in the air, does a tuck, she looks like a clam and flipsaround, winds around, she's going to be landing, but first right into ... What's his nameagain?

Speaker 7:​Balto.

Speaker 3:​Balto.

Speaker 4:​Right into Balto, and she really sits on him. She goes when she lands.

Speaker 7:​When she lands on his chest, his arms and his feet spring up a little bit and he goes-

Speaker 8:​Oh!

Speaker 4:​And that's what it is.

Speaker 3:​And that's why they call it the clam flip.

Speaker 7:​Viv.

Speaker 6:​Holly crap.

Speaker 7:​Technically Viv and Balto act at the same time. How much edge does-

Speaker 6:​I believe I have a four.

Speaker 7:​Which edge does Balto have?

Speaker 8:​Three.

Speaker 6:​Yeah, four.

Speaker 7:​So Viv does it, act first.

Speaker 6:​Viv is still at the entrance of the house and trying not to get tangled in Lash and Balto'sfloor embrace, I guess. Viv quickly tries to lift his pant leg and puts her hand around anankle to cast mind probe.

Speaker 7:​Love it. I'm going to say yeah. And the house is pretty small, so it's not a great distancethat you have to travel before you're just in front of-

Speaker 6:​I was just standing behind everybody. So mind prob, I have to roll spell casting plusmy magic skills. So that's six plus six, 12. Well, let's do a force of 10. We need a lot of information.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. The force is associated with how deeply you can probe. Is that correct?

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. And it's like when it's force one, you're getting immediate thoughts in themoment, but when it's higher and higher, it's childhood memories and like repressedfeelings and-

Speaker 6:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 4:​So what's the force you're doing again?

Speaker 6:​10. So I'm going to roll for spell casting mind probe.

Speaker 3:​Viv is so powerful and scary. We're such amateurs and Viv is just like this made fromanother realm.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. Actually I think this is going to become [inaudible], but I think Viv is the onewho can actually kill people.

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​I don't think TK is ever going to get ... His body count going to stay very low.

Speaker 6:​All right, rolling. Oh God.

Speaker 7:​And does Balto resist this or does he have no choice?

Speaker 8:​I think I get a logic real powers [crosstalk]

Speaker 6:​I think it's page 287, I can't pull it up right now. But-

Speaker 7:​Okay.

Speaker 8:​If I had a barrier, my barrier force. But I don't have a barrier except for my Bonobopants.

Speaker 6:​Oh shoot.

Speaker 5:​Oh he wears Bonobos.

Speaker 8:​No. Well, in the future they're gross.

Speaker 7:​In the future?

Speaker 8:​Bonobos.

Speaker 7:​Sponsor us.

Speaker 6:​Yeah. Sponsor code, Fun City.

Speaker 8:​Bonobos, in the future they're gross, but now stylish and affordable. Go into a store, you can't take them home, you have to go online and order them afterwards. Would youbuy anything else like that? No, but pants you might. Fit good, butt nice, hold ball, all inthere.

Speaker 7:​Bonobos.

Speaker 8:​Bonobos.

Speaker 7:​That's a great read. Thank you.

Speaker 8:​Oh no. Bonobos.

Speaker 6:​We've got four hits.

Speaker 7:​Okay. Let's see.

Speaker 6:​And that means we have a table here actually. The subject can find out anything thetarget consciously knows and views the target's recent memories up to 72 hours. So that'sfour hits.

Speaker 7:​Balto gets to roll. Real power plus logic.

Speaker 8:​No hits.

Speaker 7:​So, you do get four. Balto's also-

Speaker 3:​Are we out of initiative because what does mind probe ... Do you just get theinformation or does anything happen to him?

Speaker 7:​He knows that his mind is being probed.

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​He would likely very quickly figure out where it's coming from. But yeah, it doesn'tsedate him or anything.

Speaker 3:​So he's just conscious.

Speaker 6:​He's still underneath Lash.

Speaker 7:​So, this is basically like an instantaneous thing. You just get a flood of information, asyou want it and as you can parse through it. So we can spend a couple moments nowanswering some questions if you have them. Well, yeah, you have access to everythingBalto consciously knows and the last three days of memories.

Speaker 6:​So I think the first thing we need to know is, which boat belongs to Uri?

Speaker 7:​He does not know that.

Speaker 6:​He does not know that?

Speaker 3:​Does he know the schedules for the ships going in and out?

Speaker 7:​He knows that basically every day it's just an ongoing in and out of boats. As far as heknows or as far as he's concerned, there's no schedule, it's just, it opens, people startdropping stuff off and then it closes.

Speaker 4:​Does he know what the weakest link of the security is?

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​There is one guy that works the night shift, and he'll be on tomorrow, that Balto thinksis incredibly lazy.

Speaker 3:​Where does he work? At what station is he going to be?

Speaker 7:​He is the guy that is the guard at the draw.

Speaker 8:​Main gate. The main gate.

Speaker 4:​Anything else?

Speaker 6:​Anything else about the mage we can find out?

Speaker 5:​But you retain this information, right?

Speaker 6:​No. Yeah. We-

Speaker 7:​No. I don't think so. I think you-

Speaker 6:​I have to be touching him.

Speaker 7:​I think you have to be touching him to get it.

Speaker 5:​But you don't remember everything that you-

Speaker 6:​No. We have to probe for the information, while still touching him.

Speaker 5:​Right.

Speaker 6:​Yeah. Okay. Anything else we need to know? He doesn't know which boat it is.

Speaker 3:​Yeah. Figure out what he knows about the mage.

Speaker 5:​Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7:​I also like to imagine that you guys are like, you are sitting on him, you have justpunched this man, you're standing by, you're grabbing his ankle and you're shouting like, "What else do we need know?"

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 8:​[crosstalk] "What the fuck?"

Speaker 7:​His children are still screaming.

Speaker 5:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​Real quickly, we want to know-

Speaker 7:​You can hear them shouting from the other side of the room.

Speaker 3:​We want to know about how they're making money off the trash. We want to knowabout the mage. We want to know about-

Speaker 6:​Where the mage is.

Speaker 5:​No. Their relationship with Mr Johnson. If he knows anything about Jast and becausehe's a bad guy.

Speaker 7:​I would say that's four questions. I would let you ask those four and then-

Speaker 6:​That's it. Yeah.

Speaker 7:​And then we're done.

Speaker 6:​So, I want to know anything about the powerful mage that I felt the other day.

Speaker 8:​That is Jast Columnar, the owner and operator of Jast Reclamation.

Speaker 6:​What kind of magician is Jast?

Speaker 7:​When you ask that question, Balto's mind just flips through images, almost like apanicked person running. And every footfall is an image. And you see fire and you seemolten metal. And you see giant flaming pentagrams carved, dug into the earth and floorof a subterranean chamber. And you see black flaming demons walking through theseconcrete halls. And you see molten metal and acid blistering human skin. And the lastvision you see is of a giant flaming hound.

Speaker 6:​Oh boy.

Speaker 3:​So Jast owns hell.

Speaker 6:​Viv becomes visibly worried. What does Balto know about the conversion of thescrap?

Speaker 7:​So when you ask this question of Balto's consciousness, you get almost like anoverwhelming flood of information. It's like it's too much for you to parse through as youget it. It seems like as far as what Balto consciously knows, this is a lot. And it wouldtake quite awhile for you to work through everything that you get. But the CliffNotesversion is, Jast is three businesses, the first is the one that you've seen. You've seen themetal reclamation, et cetera. The second is as an arms dealer and manufacturer, which iswhat Gabriel told you about. They buy and sell preexisting weapons. They also do somebusiness constructing weapons. The third is a thing that Balto knows almost nothingabout but knows happens. And it is Jast like underground facility for creating[oracalcum], which is a very powerful magical substance that you get by refining veryspecific kinds of metals and working on them in a very long, very complicated, magicalprocess.

Speaker 6:​Is it like alchemy?

Speaker 7:​It is like alchemy. Yes.

Speaker 3:​And what can you do with oracalcum?

Speaker 7:​You can do a lot of things. It is one of the world's most valuable substances per gram. The thing that is most commonly used for is for magic. You can use it as a reagent. Soyou can basically use it in place of your own force when casting spells or when making[fokai] or all kinds of other things. It is a resource that you can expand in order to domagic.

Speaker 3:​Cool.

Speaker 8:​It's like magic plutonium.

Speaker 7:​Kind of like magic plutonium.

Speaker 3:​Nice.

Speaker 7:​That is something that Balto is incredibly confused by. But you get a sense just fromthe quick burst of images that the facility, which does that, is underneath Jast, whichexplains the vision that you had when you were asensing earlier and it is quite large andvery well guarded.

Speaker 3:​We're not going down there.

Speaker 4:​What does Balto know about the deal between Jast and Urie if there's any historybehind that?

Speaker 7:​Nothing. You can search around for Urie, you get nothing. You can search around forlike, Urie boat, boat, these are just search terms.

Speaker 3:​The search terms?

Speaker 7:​Yeah. Urie plus boat quote, Urie quote boat. Yeah. Nothing.

Speaker 3:​Can I ask?

Speaker 4:​Boaty mcboat face.

Speaker 3:​Can I ask what the UI is on mind probe? What does it look like? To you, what you see?

Speaker 6:​Oh, in my mind?

Speaker 3:​Yeah. Is it like a search bar? What's going on?

Speaker 6:​No. Viv is an old wizards. Non of it is digital. It's more like a library, like a physicallibrary of looking up and down aisles, and it can get very overwhelming.

Speaker 3:​Oh, cool.

Speaker 7:​Dig it.

Speaker 6:​Okay. I guess at this point I rolled resist trainer ready.

Speaker 7:​How did you do?

Speaker 6:​I had four hits and the drain is the force, which was 10.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. And because it's over your magic limit, you take it as physical damage, not stundamage.

Speaker 6:​Right.

Speaker 3:​That doesn't sound good.

Speaker 7:​So you take four hits of physical damage.

Speaker 6:​[inaudible]

Speaker 7:​Which means you now also have a wound modifier.

Speaker 6:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​So you will take a dice penalty to every action.

Speaker 6:​Yes. My wound modifier is now one.

Speaker 7:​Great. Not great.

Speaker 6:​Not great.

Speaker 7:​But, you learned a lot.

Speaker 6:​I did learn a lot.

Speaker 7:​Balto is going to act next. He's going to try to get up. [inaudible] just roll his strength.

Speaker 5:​But he got clam flipped. How do you get up from that?

Speaker 7:​He's going to try. He's nothing if not stubborn.

Speaker 4:​I'm pretty heavy.

Speaker 7:​Lash, can you roll your strength?

Speaker 4:​My strength is only four. I didn't get any hit.

Speaker 7:​So he gets up. He manages-

Speaker 5:​Motherfucker.

Speaker 7:​He manages to back Lash off of him and he manages to shake Viv's hand off of hisankle. But that is whole turn, he stands very upset in his own home surrounded bystrangers, one of whom looks suspiciously like him. Whose turn it is to act?

Speaker 5:​We can just leave. We don't have to-

Speaker 3:​We cannot just leave because Balto will show up to work with another Balto. We needto incapacitate this man. I need to go convince the family that I'm the real Balto. So youguys-

Speaker 8:​What the hell?

Speaker 3:​Are going to have to take care of Balto. I am going to go calm them and tell them thatwe are the police, or they're the police. And this Balto that has been in the house has beenimpersonating me.

Speaker 6:​Nice.

Speaker 3:​So I go up to the wife-

Speaker 8:​What the fuck dude?

Speaker 3:​And I con her.

Speaker 6:​Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 5:​This is an incredible idea. It's so bad.

Speaker 3:​Yeah.

Speaker 5:​It is such a bad idea.

Speaker 3:​Well, it's the only one we got because we need this Balto out and I can't do anythingwith pepper spray.

Speaker 5:​Wait, sorry. I'm going to go ahead and say the guy on the security shift tomorrow, weneed to incapacitate him for an entire fucking day.

Speaker 3:​We got to tie his ass up.

Speaker 5:​And tie his family's ass up?

Speaker 3:​Yeah. Unless they think that I'm the real Balto and then I can just go to work. That'swhat I'm saying is that we don't-

Speaker 4:​We have to get rid of the other Balto.

Speaker 5:​Sorry. If this goes well, to be clear, you're going to sleep with his wife?

Speaker 3:​I will have to.

Speaker 7:​I hate to interrupt, but you did not have this time for this conversation in the moment, no.

Speaker 3:​This is table talk. What?

Speaker 7:​Yeah. I know but table talk has its limits. Luxe, what do you say to the group beforeyou go to the back of the house?

Speaker 3:​Thank you so much officers. Please, arrest him.

Speaker 7:​You walk to the other side of the house, you do not see the kids or Mrs Cuddle. Youhave to walk through a doorway. And as you walk through that doorway, you hear adeafening blast, and some slug actually hits the wall next to you. And do you see MrsCuddle with a shotgun. And her kids are standing behind her and she's ready to not missthe next time. So this is your chance. If you're going to say something, say it.

Speaker 3:​I say, I rip off my glasses and my hat and my mustache and I say, "Honey, it's me."

Speaker 7:​So she has to roll.

Speaker 8:​Fuck, yes, yes, yes. Do we think she's also an orc? Yeah. Probably right?

Speaker 7:​Yeah.

Speaker 5:​That's racist.

Speaker 8:​Why? What?

Speaker 5:​I'm kidding.

Speaker 6:​Orc children.

Speaker 8:​It's because of the lifespans. You don't want to-

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 5:​You know what? That makes sense.

Speaker 3:​This should be intuition?

Speaker 7:​Then she rolls her logic plus intuition. And as long as she doesn't get five ... She gotthree. When you whip off your hat and your sunglasses and your mustache-

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​She is immediately like, "Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa," and starts to put gun slowly down and stops pushing her kids asfiercely back as she was and she listens to what you have to say, which is that-

Speaker 3:​Honey, I don't have time to explain. They're trying to take over Jast. That man in theliving room, is an impostor. Those people that were attacking what you thought was meare the police. I need you to get the kids down in the basement or in ... Not in thebasement. Sorry, I'm thinking of the basement at work. Sorry honey. Go to the bedroom, get in the closet, I will come and get you. Okay? Just get in the bedroom. Okay? Just get in the bedroom. Don't talk to anybody. Don't call anybody. That's what I say.

Speaker 7:​Roll it. Roll it for me.

Speaker 3:​All right.

Speaker 4:​My God.

Speaker 3:​My question is, do I have a plus two for first impression right now? Because she thinksI'm somebody else, so I'm not really making a first impression.

Speaker 7:​Yeah, I know. First impression does not apply.

Speaker 3:​First impression doesn't apply-

Speaker 5:​Her kids were screaming.

Speaker 3:​So I have 12. I hope I don't get shot with a shotgun in the face.

Speaker 8:​That would be funny if the first confrontation we had, you died.

Speaker 3:​Five hits.

Speaker 7:​She drops the shotgun on the chair that is next to her and rushes over and embracesyou.

Speaker 8:​That's your wife now.

Speaker 3:​Go. Go now. I'll come get you when it's safe.

Speaker 7:​She's trembling. You can feel that she is terrified. The kids are right behind her. They'recrying. Their mother has just fired a gun at their father. There are a bunch of strangepeople in the living room of their house and their dad is clearly terrified and is tellingthem that they have to hide until it is safe. She loosens her grip, looks you in the eyes, plants a big kiss on you.

Speaker 4:​Nice.

Speaker 3:​Got it.

Speaker 7:​And says, "Just just hide in the closet?"

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​You're sure that's the safest place?

Speaker 3:​I don't have time. Yes.

Speaker 7:​Okay. All right. I understand.

Speaker 3:​I love you.

Speaker 7:​I love you too. And she turns around and she ushers the kids into the one final room oftheir small squat house. You hear the door close. You hear another door slide and thenslide again. And it seems like they are hiding in the closet.

Speaker 5:​Do you pick up the shotgun?

Speaker 3:​I don't use guns and I don't have skills to use guns.

Speaker 5:​You could take it so-

Speaker 4:​Just take it so-

Speaker 8:​Take it so you don't get shot at again

Speaker 3:​I'll take it. I'll take it maybe just point it as a threat.

Speaker 4:​Yeah. At the real-

Speaker 3:​Okay. I pick up the shotgun.

Speaker 7:​I'm going to say that's the end of your turn.

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 5:​I like that you just had a separate adventure.

Speaker 6:​That was incredible.

Speaker 5:​You corked a man.

Speaker 8:​Not enough to just clam flip a man.

Speaker 6:​Yeah.

Speaker 8:​One must clam then cork.

Speaker 3:​That's like emotional equivalent of a clam flip.

Speaker 6:​And you got a little kiss.

Speaker 7:​TK, you have another action before we roll initiative.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. Do we have rope?

Speaker 7:​I would say that Gabe out on the boat would have like-

Speaker 4:​I have climbing gear. [crosstalk]

Speaker 6:​I have survival kits.

Speaker 7:​I would say a survival kit or climbing gear will definitely have nylon rope.

Speaker 5:​Okay. TK goes for the punch again. Because third time, the charm. But also he doesn'tknow that saying, that crazy is doing something over and over again and expectingdifferent results. He doesn't know that.

Speaker 6:​I just imagined him just like, Uh, uh, uh.

Speaker 3:​Continually punching a man in the chest. [crosstalk]

Speaker 5:​Oh, fuck. Actually, I do have inertia strike. Which is a free action, but it explicitlyknocks people down. And it doesn't [inaudible], so I would like to do that.

Speaker 7:​Do it up.

Speaker 5:​So I channel the necessary energy. So he winds up extra hard this time.

Speaker 7:​Yup. Really gets his chain order.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. And sort of shifts his hips. He's getting in a real boxing punch stance.

Speaker 7:​Right.

Speaker 5:​Four hits. I have no success on my dice roll.

Speaker 7:​You've succeed with flying colors.

Speaker 5:​Okay. TK is very excited to get to punch again, and leaps, he goes for an uppercut, astraight, under the chin, classic slam and jumps into it. And so he's aiming to just knockthis guy out.

Speaker 7:​Yeah.

Speaker 5:​Really. Like he's putting his legs into it. Again, [inaudible] Also, because TK is in a debt and does have magic. I think it actually is to show you guys. I think this technicallycounts, even though that's a copyrighted property.

Speaker 7:​And it would be like 120 years old.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. So it's actually public domain in the future.

Speaker 3:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​I think at the rate that we're going, no, it's not. Not in this dystopian future or any other. So you don't knock him unconscious. A knockdown isn't putting someone out.

Speaker 5:​But he's trying to do that.

Speaker 7:​But you definitely level him. You hit him hard enough, you lift his feet off the ground.

Speaker 5:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​And again, for the third time, at this point, this has been like four minutes. This man ison the ground again. And the last one to act before we re-roll is Lash.

Speaker 4:​So I'm going to try to tie him up. I have stealth rope. Stealth rope is for climbing, Ithink.

Speaker 5:​That's great rope.

Speaker 3:​It's just rope though.

Speaker 5:​I think I would allow rope to be rope.

Speaker 4:​I think it's like a very thin wire rope. Like you can't see the rope.

Speaker 5:​Even better.

Speaker 7:​We had talked about Gabe having rope on the boat. If you want to say that someonehas just shouted out to be like, "Gabe!"

Speaker 3:​"Throw us the rope."

Speaker 7:​"Throw us some rope." He could have-

Speaker 4:​He could all in one action.

Speaker 7:​He could have just thrown them.

Speaker 4:​Okay.

Speaker 7:​So we can say that while TK was winding up.

Speaker 5:​It was an epic one.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. Viv had just stuck her head out the door. I would allow this. Yeah. Okay. Great. You have a long coil of thick nylon rope.

Speaker 4:​So I, from when I was thrown off him, I'm behind him and then he's on the ground, Igo directly for his two giant orc arms behind his back and start tying him up.

Speaker 7:​Or you're [inaudible] him.

Speaker 6:​You want to hog tie him?

Speaker 5:​Somebody's going to understand that and be like, "What did you just say?"

Speaker 7:​All right. I look forward to getting that tweet.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. It's going to be really funny.

Speaker 3:​Googling it now.

Speaker 5:​Please don't. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Speaker 3:​I have no idea what [inaudible] is.

Speaker 5:​Oh, goddamn.

Speaker 8:​I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 5:​Oh, I see.

Speaker 8:​Bigger pervert.

Speaker 7:​Oh, I know exactly what this is. I didn't know that this is called [inaudible].

Speaker 6:​Wow. Okay.

Speaker 5:​I was like, "What's the name? What's the name? What's the name?"

Speaker 7:​Yeah. So why don't you roll strength plus logic.

Speaker 4:​That's nine.

Speaker 7:​Unless you have like hog tying skill.

Speaker 4:​No. I have natural athlete.

Speaker 7:​And then he could just roll his ... Yeah. And I would say, if someone else wants to helpby trying to restrain him-

Speaker 5:​Okay.

Speaker 7:​I would allow this to be a teamwork test.

Speaker 5:​I will do it with you.

Speaker 7:​So just roll your strength, TK.

Speaker 5:​Five.

Speaker 4:​Who has the most strength?

Speaker 5:​Me.

Speaker 4:​Okay. All right. I don't have a lot of strength.

Speaker 5:​For sure. It's me. Add one dice.

Speaker 7:​It helps.

Speaker 4:​Go?

Speaker 7:​Go.

Speaker 5:​Did we fail this test?

Speaker 7:​You did not do well.

Speaker 5:​That's okay.

Speaker 7:​Lash did not do well.

Speaker 4:​Oh boy. I could try to do the edge and re-roll. What do you think?

Speaker 8:​That would be spending an edge song.

Speaker 7:​Taylor Moore.

Speaker 8:​Jen de LA Vega.

Speaker 6:​She's going to spend the edge.

Speaker 4:​Okay. Now I have four.

Speaker 7:​You successfully restrain Balto Cuddle in the middle of his own home. We are out ofinitiative.

Speaker 3:​I walk into the room with the shotgun and I say, "Somebody put some thing in thisimposters mouth."

Speaker 5:​You say it loudly enough for the kids to hear?

Speaker 3:​I say it loudly enough for everyone to hear.

Speaker 5:​How are you not hurt?

Speaker 3:​I'll explain later.

Speaker 5:​Not you. Balto. What is the deal here?

Speaker 3:​Maybe you should try punching hard.

Speaker 6:​Viv grabs a sock from Balto's foot and stuffs it into his mouth.

​We should get out of here.

Speaker 3:​You guys have to get out of here. I need to stay to make sure that they don't call thecops.

Speaker 5:​Just tell them it's okay. Tell them that you're going on a business trip.

Speaker 6:​No-

Speaker 3:​That's believable. The security guard is going to go on a business trip.

Speaker 6:​Say you're going to the station.

Speaker 3:​After an unrelated impersonation event, now it's a good time to go get into bonds, orI'm going to get into wholesaling.

Speaker 5:​We're taking a hostage. Come on.

Speaker 6:​No. Just say you have to go back to the station. It would make sense that you have tocome back.

Speaker 3:​I will say that. Okay. You guys wait for me. All right.

Speaker 5:​I think we should move him into the boat while he's-

Speaker 3:​Yeah. Get Balto onto the boat. All right. I'm going to go-

Speaker 6:​Okay.

Speaker 5:​Fake Balto.

Speaker 3:​Get this fake ass into the boat. He's going to jail.

Speaker 5:​TK picks him up.

​TK punches him again.

Speaker 3:​I huddle up with the team real quick and I'm like-

Speaker 7:​If you're Balto Cuddle, this could be cuddling up.

Speaker 3:​That's true.

Speaker 5:​Why the fuck would you say that?

Speaker 7:​I reward myself with an edge.

Speaker 5:​Damn it. What's the universe going to do with an edge?

Speaker 3:​I have successfully conned this woman into thinking I'm her husband.

Speaker 7:​Correct.

Speaker 3:​So I just go back, while they're going to get to the rope, I get the wife and kids out ofthe bedroom.

Speaker 7:​As you enter in the bedroom, you hear the mother on the other side of the closet doorexplaining to the kids that everything is going to be fine and that dad is going to beperfectly safe. It's just, they just have to stay here for a little bit longer.

Speaker 3:​I go and I pull her aside from the kids, I say, "I have to go back to Jast real quick. Wethink that it's all contained. There was a small subset of people at Jast who were trying totake over. I'm going to go back for security. I'll be back at the end of my shift."

Speaker 7:​You know, I hate that you work at this place. I know we've talked about this a lotbefore.

Speaker 3:​I can't go into this again.

Speaker 7:​I hate this place.

Speaker 3:​You know we need the money.

Speaker 7:​You need to get-

Speaker 3:​You know we need the money.

Speaker 7:​This is the last straw. You have to leave. You go take care of this problem, but we'regoing to talk more about this later.

Speaker 9:​Mama, you said daddy has to work so much so he can buy my medicine.

Speaker 3:​Honey, I love you so much. And I would do anything. You, your mother. I am going to be back very soon and we will talk about a new job. Okay?

Speaker 9:​And medicine.

Speaker 3:​I promise. And yes, medicine. We'll talk about the medicine. And I know that this hasbeen stressful and I am so sorry.

Speaker 7:​I fired a gun at you!

Speaker 3:​I know, I know. Okay. And I don't blame you for that. It's very unusual. I still don'thave all the details. I know I have to get back or a lot of people that I work with could be in a lot of danger.

Speaker 7:​I don't care about them. I care about you.

Speaker 3:​I know.

Speaker 7:​So get out of here. You come back as soon as possible.

Speaker 3:​I will. I will. I love you.

Speaker 7:​Love you too.

Speaker 9:​Medicine.

Speaker 3:​And I leave. So we all go get back in the boat.

Speaker 5:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​You got Balto?

Speaker 5:​Yeah. I pick him up.

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 5:​Gabe is like, man I was a kerfuffle, huh? I look tough.

Speaker 3:​Thanks Gabe for the rope.

Speaker 7:​You have restrained Balto Cuddle on your skimmer.

Speaker 3:​Point of clarity. He's not a hostage because no one knows he's been kidnapped.

Speaker 7:​Sure. You have kidnapped a man. You have a restrained kidnapee on the skimmer. Gabriel will take you wherever you want to go. Are you going to go back to the house?

Speaker 3:​I think we should drive out into open water where nobody could hear him yelling andask him some questions. Because we did get some from the mind, but I have others.

Speaker 7:​Because of the nature of the boat, you can't go out into international waters, but youcan go for a couple minutes, out past where Jast is. So slightly further South.

Speaker 3:​Before we do that, can I just go and grab his jet ski real quick?

Speaker 7:​Yeah.

Speaker 3:​And take off on that?

Speaker 7:​Yeah. We can just say that you've-

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 7:​I don't know if you know how to pilot that.

Speaker 3:​I don't. And you know, I don't.

Speaker 5:​Wait, hold on. I can pilot aircraft. I don't know if it's useful.

Speaker 7:​No, it's not.

Speaker 5:​Point of order.

Speaker 7:​Do you think it's simple enough that any idiot can do it?

Speaker 5:​Yes.

Speaker 7:​Okay.

Speaker 5:​Jet skis.

Speaker 7:​Yeah. I will say as long as you don't have to do anything after Taylor's very convincingargument of jet skis.

Speaker 5:​They're the point and shoot cameras you buy at the checkout counter at Walgreens ofwatercraft.

Speaker 3:​There's no transmission. There is no ... Oh, there is. But you don't have to worry about... Yeah.

Speaker 7:​As long as you don't get into any high speed chases or anything, I think it will be fine.

Speaker 5:​Are you having fun on the jet-ski?

Speaker 3:​Yeah. A little bit. I might actually just tie it up to the boat, so that I could ride with youguys while we skim along. Now I'm in the boat but the jet ski secured to the boat. Is thatokay?

Speaker 7:​I would allow that to happen.

Speaker 3:​Okay, good. I just don't want to lose the jets ski.

Speaker 7:​I actually don't know whether or not this would be possible. Gabriel might be able tomanually pilot the skimmer and wirelessly pilot the-

Speaker 4:​Yeah.

Speaker 7:​Through some combination of super future technology like-

Speaker 3:​And rope.

Speaker 7:​Like rope. Yes. Both of these boats can be in the same place. This is The ShadowrunPodcast.

Speaker 3:​Okay. Great.

Speaker 7:​Logistics. The podcast.

Speaker 4:​I would like to go through his pocket.

Speaker 5:​[inaudible]

Speaker 7:​I don't know. What does Balto Cuddle have on him?

Speaker 8:​Is it the beginning of the day or the end of the day?

Speaker 7:​It's the end of the day.

Speaker 8:​End of the day. Home from work. Hasn't taken his clothes off yet?

Speaker 7:​Yeah. No, he's still in his work vest.

Speaker 8:​Yeah. Hold on. I'll tell you what you find on him. Well, first of all, he's wearing anarmored jacket with a nine armor rating. He's got a stun baton and he's got no wallet.

Speaker 3:​He doesn't have any ID?

Speaker 4:​No ID.

Speaker 8:​No ID, no wallet. Not in his pockets.

Speaker 3:​Any cash?

Speaker 8:​He would almost certainly have his comm link on him, which is-

Speaker 7:​You said you were searching his pockets, not looking in his ear.

Speaker 8:​His comm link is in his ear and his pocket has a stun baton in it.

Speaker 5:​TK takes his common link, so he can't call for help.

Speaker 7:​So you now, de facto, you have his ID, his wallet, his payment information. [crosstalk]

Speaker 3:​I'm taking his clothes off and putting them on me. I'm taking his armor vest off and putting it on me. I'm taking his comm link and I'm putting it on me.

Speaker 5:​Yeah. I give the comm link to you.

Speaker 3:​Thank you TK.

Speaker 4:​I was going to take the stun baton, but maybe I'll give it to you.

Speaker 3:​Yeah. I'm trying to look like him, Lash. Thank you so much for giving me part of theoutfit that I need.

Speaker 4:​All right.

Speaker 3:​Do you want it?

Speaker 4:​No.

Speaker 3:​It seems like you want it.

Speaker 4:​I don't know how to use it.

Speaker 3:​You don't know how to use it?

Speaker 4:​No.

Speaker 3:​Okay. You could clam flip these. Basically this whole base. All right.

Speaker 6:​That's what you're always saying.

Speaker 3:​Gosh, that was really good.

Speaker 4:​Thank you.

Speaker 3:​You're welcome. Okay. [crosstalk]

Speaker 5:​That was really cool.

Speaker 3:​Okay. So now should we ... You guys have other questions for him?

Speaker 5:​Yeah. I have a couple.

Speaker 7:​So you guys are now out. You're pretty far from civilization as it were. You're not, again, super far. You're still pretty close to the Southern tip of the Brooklyn Archipelago, but there's no one around.

Speaker 5:​Oh, I ask him, are there any secret routes into the compound that people don't checkvery often?

​TK punches the sock out of his mouth.

Speaker 7:​You're looking for a secret what?

Speaker 5:​Are there any other ways in aside from the main gate?

Speaker 8:​No. Also why would I tell you if there was?

Speaker 3:​Okay, I'll tell you why you'd tell me, because we did you a huge favor. Your wife andyour kids are safe right now. Okay? We could go back and have TK punch them intopieces.

Speaker 8:​Yeah. And then nothing would happen.

Speaker 3:​And nothing would happen because-

Speaker 8:​Exactly.

Speaker 5:​TK channels the fire element and turns on elemental body.

Speaker 3:​Okay. He didn't use his fire fist. Okay? So we're doing you a big favor. Your boss hassomething that our boss owns, and we are just going to go and get it back. You're going tohave your same life. You're going to have your same job. And your boss isn't even goingto miss the thing that we're getting back. All right. So you're going to cooperate with usor we are going to punch your family into pieces. You got it?

Speaker 7:​Roll intimidate?

Speaker 3:​Yes.

Speaker 5:​I move my fire fist close to his face, so he feels the heat. Oh, we should heal Viv.

Speaker 6:​Yes, please.

Speaker 5:​I have a [inaudible] that I can give you.

Speaker 6:​You cannot heal drain with anything other than rest.

Speaker 3:​Oh, right. We need to have her rest.

Speaker 5:​Shit.

Speaker 7:​You have a day. So as long as you go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow, she'll befine.

Speaker 3:​TK's like you're spending the night with us.

Speaker 5:​All right.

Speaker 3:​To Balto.

Speaker 7:​Because of everything he's been through, and the fact that you look exactly like him, ifyou want to roll one more die, I would let you.

Speaker 3:​I got three.

Speaker 7:​Okay. All right. Even though he rolled a success, it's not enough.

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 7:​He's easy to steer.

Speaker 8:​Okay. But you got to promise not to hurt my family. You have to promise. Say it to me.

Speaker 3:​I promise. Okay? You've taken no damage. My friend here has punched you in thechest down on the ground several times.

Speaker 8:​You're saying that that was not an accident, that that was on purpose?

Speaker 3:​He turned his flame fist off. We have a woman here who could literally turn your wholeinsides into jelly and shoot daggers into your eyes, out of her eyes. Okay?

Speaker 8:​She looks like my grandmother. She's so sweet.

Speaker 3:​She could kill every one of us. Don't talk bad about Viv. I promise you that's a mistake.

Speaker 6:​Well, you actually couldn't see me because Viv is wearing [ruthenium], which is anegative four perception when she's standing still. But she says, correct. As if it came outof nowhere.

Speaker 7:​This embodied voice. Jesus Christ. If he wasn't convinced before that he shouldcooperate, he is now extra convinced.

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 6:​I hate to break it to you, but I'm not getting married.

Speaker 3:​Yeah. Before we ask any questions, let's come clean. Yesterday when you saw us, wewere not at a bachelorette party.

Speaker 6:​I just wanted to clear the air. It's bad luck.

Speaker 3:​Lash, you're right. Get it out there. She's not getting married.

Speaker 6:​I'm not getting married.

Speaker 3:​Okay. I'm not you. Okay? As long as we're admitting things.

Speaker 7:​The man tied on the surface of the boat, piloted to by your teammates, look straightfaced at you and says,

Speaker 8:​I appreciate the honesty.

Speaker 3:​Okay. It's all out there. Is there any secret ways to get into the base?

Speaker 8:​There are no secret entrances to Jast. The only two entrances are the two front doors.

Speaker 3:​If I went in as you, is there any place in the base in which you would be stopped andpeople would be suspicious of why you were there?

Speaker 8:​So I can't go into the one where they make the magic shit. Yeah, I can't. I'm notallowed in there.

Speaker 3:​I don't think we need to go down there.

Speaker 5:​We don't. We just need a boat.

Speaker 3:​We just need to give him information to get our special prize. Right?

Speaker 5:​What's the security situation at the gate?

Speaker 8:​It's under 24 hour surveillance. There's usually like four or five guards that are hangingout around there at any given time. The gates, computer controlled, there's a computersystem in the guard room. There's some security cameras here and there.

Speaker 4:​Has there been any time when a piece of junk that's gone in there has left it? Is there any reason that a boat that was in there, would exit?

Speaker 8:​Yeah. I've seen a lot of people come in and buy scrap and just haul it away. Happens allthe time.

Speaker 3:​Is there any reason, one of the major vessels, one of the two what seemed to beworking larger warships would leave?

Speaker 8:​Oh, you guys are trying to steal one of the warships?

Speaker 3:​I didn't say that.

Speaker 8:​Yeah, but you didn't have to.

Speaker 3:​Okay.

Speaker 8:​No. I've never seen one. And actually most of them have been there for as long as I'vebeen working at Jast.

Speaker 6:​This embodied voice says, I have a question.

Speaker 8:​Oh Jesus. I hate it when she does that.

Speaker 6:​Do you know if Jast ever leaves?

Speaker 7:​You can see the muscles and his jaw bones flex as he clenches his jaws, at the mentionof Jast.

Speaker 3:​We'll just know when we get inside the scrap yard.

Speaker 8:​Yeah. You fooled me with the bachelorette party. Genius rules in everything, but hewas much more suspicious and decided he's actually going to up security over the nextcouple of days, so you all better be careful.

Speaker 6:​Viv shifts her weight and you can see her cloak ripple like the water behind everybody. And she leans in close to his face to just stare at him a little bit.

Speaker 3:​If I am going to go in as you, if my four friends here go in on a scrap ship, is there anyways that these scrap ships are checked for people if they were to hide among the scrap?

Speaker 8:​No. I've run patrols all the time and I've never been in any of the ships that comethrough.

Speaker 3:​Okay. We're going to leave you tied up in this boat. It'll probably be more time thanyou want, but it won't be-

Speaker 8:​Shouldn't you just take me back to my family and tell me not to go into worktomorrow?

Speaker 3:​I should, but I can't trust that you'll do that.

Speaker 4:​We're taking the jet ski and the comm link.

Speaker 3:​Yeah, I have his comm link.

Speaker 5:​And his jet ski.

Speaker 3:​And his jet ski. I think we should keep him tied up and with us.

Speaker 8:​I think you should let me leave and go back to my family.

Speaker 6:​Viv grabs the other sock from his foot and puts it into his mouth.

Speaker 8:​I don't like ...

Speaker 5:​So you're going to go back and sleep with his wife?

Speaker 3:​No. I'm not going to go back and-

Speaker 4:​Night shift.

Speaker 3:​It's the night shift. I'm not going to sleep with your wife. All right. Look, we got to goback to the houseboat, so Viv can get some rest. We have to do this at night because that'swhen the lazy security guard's there.

Speaker 5:​I think we could also just leave him back at his house and take-

Speaker 3:​We have to do that tonight. We have to [crosstalk]

Speaker 5:​No, he doesn't. You can't see it, but his thumbs behind his back go up.

Speaker 3:​We have to go there tonight because that's when the lazy security guard's going to be there.

Speaker 5:​Isn't it tomorrow night?

Speaker 4:​It's tomorrow.

Speaker 7:​The shift for the guy that you have learned is the bad security guard begins about 24hours from right now.

Speaker 3:​All right. Take the sock out of his mouth.

Speaker 6:​Okay.

Speaker 5:​TK punches a sock out of his mouth.

Speaker 3:​Sorry about that.

Speaker 8:​[inaudible]

Speaker 3:​No problem. We put you through a lot, but you helped us. I am an expert at people andI'm going to see whether or not we can trust you to bring you back to your family andstay at home for 36 hours.

Speaker 8:​Listen, a couple of days off. Sounds great. My wife has actually been on my case for alittle bit about working too much. So, some time off is maybe the best thing for me rightnow.

Speaker 3:​You and no member of your family can contact the authorities, Jast or anyone elseabout this. You know nothing.

Speaker 8:​Listen, I get it. I ask you this, if you do anything or if anything happens over the nextday or two, where it makes it so that I shouldn't ever go back to Jast or me and my familyjust got to leave New York or leave the Archipelago, you got to let me know. Because Idon't need to go back to Jast and have him kill me.

Speaker 3:​This whole thing is to keep you from dying or otherwise we could just kill you rightnow.

Speaker 8:​That is a very good point and I appreciate your restraint.

Speaker 3:​Okay. Let me just judge your intentions here.

Speaker 7:​Very natural.

Speaker 3:​I got five that are all sixes. I got half sixes.

Speaker 7:​So that's a critical success.

Speaker 5:​That's the best roll we've had today.

Speaker 3:​Just to judge his intentions.

Speaker 5:​Balto has a shitty job, works for a bad guy. But as you think about every interactionyou've had with him up until this moment, you actually piece together that he's actually areally solid dude. Balto is kind of a great guy. Stuck in a bad situation, maybe it's a littlecomplicated, history. He's not pulling your chain. He's not going to mess around.

Speaker 3:​He got a kid he needs medicine for.

Speaker 5:​You can trust him through and through.

Speaker 3:​All right. Balto, we're going to bring you back home. And we're sorry about this, butthis is our job.

Speaker 8:​Listen, as someone that also has a very complicated and occasionally unseemlyprofession, I understand that you got to do what you got to do. I appreciate that I have nottaken any damage at any point in our encounter.

Speaker 3:​I'm going to have your jet ski for a while. I will get it back to you, if it doesn't getblown up.

Speaker 8:​I don't like it, but I understand.

Speaker 3:​I know you don't like it. I just need it.

Speaker 8:​You have all the leverage, so I don't really know that there's much I can do.

Speaker 3:​And we drive him back.

Speaker 7:​TK uses the edge of his ax to cut Balto from his restraints. Balto rubs his gray, greenwrists and squints his large dark eyes. Manhattan shines in the distance, lofted on thesuperstructure, making it look more impressive and magical, a floating sparkling city. And he knows it really is. He lowers his gaze to the disconnected dots of the BrooklynArchipelago, twinkling stars in an all together different atmosphere. The ride back to hishome Island is quiet, mostly silent except for that ridiculous boat. They drop him offcomm less, jet ski less, but with much to explain to his wife and kids and no clear placeto start.

Speaker 2:​You are now leaving fun city. Thank you for listening. If you want to support the showor get weird and fun behind the scenes tape and other episode extras, please head where you can transfer us some of your hard earned[Nguyen] and help keep this ship afloat.

​Thank you so much to everybody who came out to our premier party at Wonderville last week. We had a great time. It was awesome getting to see you, and to celebrate this thing finallybeing out in the world. Because I don't think we've said it anywhere on the show, the goalis to publish episodes on either Thursdays or Fridays every other week.

Speaker 5:​I'm Bijan Stephen, and I'm TK. You can find me online @bijanstephen on Twitter, which is B-I-J-A-N Stephen, P-H-E-N or on Instagram, and you should just Google that.

Speaker 6:​I'm Jenn de la Vega. I am Viv. You can find me online @Randwiches, that's the wordsandwiches, but just replace the S with an R.

Speaker 5:​This is Nick Guercio, I play Luxe. You can find me on Twitter @nguersh, andInstagram @nguercio, G-U-E-R-C-I-O.

Speaker 4:​This is Shannon Odell, I play Lash [inaudible]. You can find me on Instagram andTwitter @shodell, S-H-O-D-E-L-L.

Speaker 8:​This is Taylor Moore, and I play all the bad boys. I'm @taylordotbiz.

Speaker 7:​My name is Mike Rugnetta, I am your GM. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram@mikerugnetta. You can find the show on Twitter @funcityventures.

​Fun city was recorded in Greenpoint, Brooklyn at [Fortunate Horse]. It was produced, edited, andsound designed by me, Mike Rugnetta. Our music is by [Sam Tyndall]. The show's art isby Tess Stone, and the voice of [Artemis] is [Molly Templeton].


TC1006889611 (Completed  10/27/19)

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