The team attempts to steal a boat from Jast Reclamation.
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@funcityventures is the show
@bijanstephen is TK
@randwiches is Viv
@nguersh is Luxe
and @shodell is Lash
@taylordotbiz is the bad boys and
@mikerugnetta is everything else
Recorded at Fortunate Horse in Greenpoint BK
Produced, edited and sound designed by Mike Rugnetta
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CC-BY Licensed SFX used in this episode
This transcript was exported on Oct 28, 2019 - view latest version here.
Speaker 1:In the early 21st Century magic reawakened on earth, and alongside it a new humanrace with orcs, elves, trolls, dwarfs, and others. Humanity became meta-humanity. Astechnology proliferated and greatly advanced in the awakened world, global mega-corporations seized ever more power, becoming defacto states with their own laws, courts, and armed forces. The corporations attempt to control all aspects of modern life. This has led to a vast and complex criminal underground, which works for and againstcorporate interests. The independent career criminals who do what others can't or won't are called Shadow Runners. The year is 2101. Welcome to Fun City.
Mike:Previously, on Fun City. The team was hired by notorious Egg Haver Uri to steal a boatfrom Jast Reclamation, owned and operated by Jast Columnar, a powerful, dark magewho makes and deals firearms and [oricalcum], used as a kind of awakened plutonium, araw material for magical processes.
To infiltrate Jast, Luxe disguised himself as Balto Cuddle, Jast's well-meaning head of security. He did some recon while the rest of the team, who snuck in on a scrap ship with Gabriel'shelp, searched for the boat, which they found, and, which Gabriel repaired to workingcondition. It didn't take Jast long to see through their ruse, though. In a stroke of bad luck, Luxe broke his Balto mask, and unable to find a Mrs. Doubtfire cream pie has just comeface to face with the man himself. Luxe is about to explain his actual motivations fortrespassing on Jast.
Nick:I'm sorry. It's the final piece of this bachelor party scavenger hunt is to come in and get apiece of scrap from the yard, take off my mask. I apologize.
Jen:Wow. Oh, wow!
Nick:Come on. This is bull shit.
Shannon:I'm glad my plan is being used.
Nick:Will log, will log.
Mike:Yeah. I am going to give you a minus two dice penalty.
Nick:Oh God. This is a big con.
Mike:He is not predisposed to buy this.
Nick:I only got four hits.
Mike:Yeah, that didn't work.
Nick:But, uh, anyway I, uh... [crosstalk] I can't really read him very well as his scleral contactslook very scary, so I actually just start running.
Taylor:Let's see what happens.
Taylor:Jast Columnar raises a single empty hand, and casts levitate on Luxe.
Nick:This is bad. Can I say quickly as a free action, tell my team quickly that he's got me? I haveno [inaudible] the mage just got me on the tugboat.
Nick:Okay I tell the team that.
Mike:So this in opposed test.
Mike:And you're going to roll strength plus body.
Nick:Luxe has only got a couple of tools, and it's not these tools. Okay.
Bijan:Oh that's a good roll over here.
Nick:It was good at rolling well.
Mike:Jesus Christ Taylor.
Mike:So before we get any further he has to resist drain.
Jen:Mm-hmm (affirmative). What force did you roll there?
Mike:It looked low.
Taylor:Brief me on drain real quick.
Jen:You had to have declared a force of the spell.
Jen:Okay. What is-
Taylor:I got that number in my head.
Jen:What's the spell say that-
Jen:So whatever your force minus three is what you need to roll.
Mike:Then he is also a cast magician, so what do you roll when you roll drain?
Jen:I do intuition and will.
Taylor:Okay I see. Yep. Very cool.
Mike:So whatever your force is minus three. Roll intuition plus will, and then if you get a biggernumber your fine.
Taylor:I was shooting for three, I got two.
Mike:So you take one stun damage.
Mike:Okay. Luxe what did you roll?
Nick:Oh I only got one.
Mike:You only got one?
Shannon:Better than zero, and better than glitching.
Nick:Better than glitching.
Mike:Luxe as you try to run out of the tugboat.
Mike:And make a break for it into the scrap yard. Suddenly you just feel the ground drop frombeneath your feet, and you feel pleasantly weightless.
Mike:In a way that you never have before, until you realize what's happening. Then the weight ofthe situation becomes a bit crushing.
Bijan:Are his legs running in mid-air. Is he trying to run?
Mike:Yes. It's like when you hold a dog above the water.
Mike:You're probably about seven feet off the ground.
Nick:That's pretty high.
Taylor:You are no longer above the boat, in fact you are now above the water between the tugboat, and the dock, and Jast examines you.
Mike:Cut back to the party barge.
Shannon:Okay so we have received his message, and we're thinking-
Nick:Can we see what's going on?
Shannon:We're thinking we should-
Jen:He's in trouble.
Shannon:Yeah, he's in trouble, and we should take this party boat over there.
Bijan:We should take the party to them.
Mike:You see Gabe reach into the instrument panel of this 250 foot Corvette warship, that hasbeen turned into a zoo party barge.
Mike:He pulls the universal data cable out from the instrument panel, and plugs it into the portthat's in his left temple. You see him sort of like gaze off into the middle distance, and theboat lurches forwarded, and starts to move through the wide canals of Jast Reclamation. You hear Gabe's voice replace the [Surdo] over the intercom, and he says "Where to?"
Bijan:Let's go rescue our dip shit friend.
Shannon:Yeah lets slam this boat right into that mage.
Bijan:Wait, can we drive the boat into Jast?
Jen:Well we'll see.
Mike:We'll see. You hear the engines rev and the lights dim, and they change to the same colorthat the balls in ball pit were, when you went to go, and get Gabe. The music changes tothe sort of thing that he was listening to. There's a little bit of a wiggle, a little bit of a tipback and forth, but you're underway.
Bijan:Where do you guys want to be?
Jen:[Viv] springs into action. She starts running toward the bow of the boat, so that she can see, as if she's the mermaid on the front of a boat.
Jen:But she stays still because you can't really see here if she's not moving. [Typhine] isunderneath the ship, and displaying a... What is this word? There's a word for this. The[bow-works-]-
Mike:Oh yeah, bow works, yeah.
Jen:They're the sides of the ship. She's kind of foaming as if the boat's going quickly, but it's not.
Bijan:Oh hell yeah. Got some cool magic happening.
Mike:You're not really through tearing through Jast, but the little addition of foam makes it looklike you're going a little bit faster than you are. You're turning around these huge piles-
Bijan:We're going the direction.
Mike:You're going the right direction towards the entryway. Which now all of the gates areclosed, you're trapped in here with them, but they're also trapped in here with you.
You'll be there in like... Hm, it's slow going, there's no direct route. Maybe two minutes.
Jen:Oh boy that's a lot of time.
Mike:Listen Gabe, he's never done this before. He can do it, but it's-
Bijan:How long are [inaudible] spells?
Shannon:I have a lot of line of sight, but the spirit can go ahead.
Bijan:I just want to get on the bow of the ship.
Shannon:Does the spirit have some protection?
Jen:No. She has concealment, engulf movement.
Bijan:I also get on the bow of ship, as far as I can go. I'm just kind of standing there waiting.
Shannon:I also follow to bow.
Bijan:That's the front.
Mike:You guys are going to like Titanic the ship?
Shannon:We're coming for our dude.
Bijan:Can I ask Gabe to honk the horn just like as loud as it goes? Just to alert Luxe that we'recoming.
Mike:Yes you can.
Bijan:I'm going to use a-
Jen:All the guards are going to come over.
Shannon:The guards are going to start shooting at us.
Bijan:I mean we're in ship that's moving and blaring music.
Mike:Yeah, the guards know.
Shannon:Yeah, that's true.
Mike:Yeah, if you want to. I mean you know.
Bijan:I look back, and I make the trucker honking movement.
Mike:So I'm going to say that there's something deep inside of Gabe, that he really, really wantsto do this, but knows that it's a bad idea. He's going to roll to figure out whether or not hesuccessfully checks his own will. A deafening calm.
Mike:Issues from the party barge, as it heads towards Jast. Alerting every guard in earshot.
Mike:Gabe immediately feels very guilty about this, and knows that he should have don't it. Jastdefinitely hears this.
Bijan:Look if you're not going to do it in style, why do it at all.
Jen:Yeah, well we came to party.
Shannon:No one can see me. Just saying it.
Jen:Yeah actually Lash and Viv are not visible.
Bijan:I'm just out there like making the honking noise. It just looks like a fist pump from adistance.
Mike:Back to Jast and Luxe.
Taylor:Jast Columnar beckons with his fingers, and Luxe flies closer now, almost arms reach, butjust out of physical touch of Jast. And Jast says "I would have sold you the boat, had youasked."
Nick:Mr. Columnar I'm sorry I would've loved to have buy it, but I literally asked every guardhere where you eat dinner, and nobody would tell me. All right, so we took matters intoour own hands. I'm sorry to bother you tonight Mr. Columnar.
Taylor:You can not conceive of what being sorry is, until I flay you-
Taylor:And serve your flesh as canapes to the demon kings of [Diss].
Nick:I don't know who they are.
Taylor:Jast's head jerks to his right as he sees the 250 foot battle yacht, racing directly towardhim.
Mike:Battle party barge.
Taylor:Battle party barge, racing toward him. He turns back to Luxe.
Nick:No, before you turn back, because literally the whole time I have been waiting for thismoment. So before you turn back Luxe puts both of his hand sprayers Spiderman styleright into Jast's face, and he pulls the trigger on some pepper punch in his face. This is apepper spray times 10, and he just squirts him with it.
Jen:That is what he is working with.
Bijan:Does he drop a middle finger just like two birds.
Nick:I can't because they have to be down.
Bijan:But this is why we call you [Bird Two].
Nick:Yeah, this is why the birds are coming out, and this is all he's got. This is his only defense, and he's doing it now like a trapped bug, that's squirting a hot liquid.
Mike:He's like a hissing cockroach?
Nick:This is a hissing cockroach. This is all he's got. This basically does two things. It does thisamount of stun damage, and also it causes vision loss, and nausea.
Jen:Oh my god.
Shannon:Okay. Okay. Okay.
Mike:Jast will roll his reaction plus his intuition.
Bijan:You should maybe spin one just to get some of those, because our boy is pretty thick.
Nick:I only have two left.
Bijan:Okay maybe not then. Oh hell yeah.
Shannon:Oh my God.
Mike:So then power is 11.
Nick:I think so. Let me double check.
Mike:Yeah, pepper punch power 11.
Mike:That basically means for every turn that we're in Jast has to resit the effects of the toxin, andhe has to successfully resist the effects of the toxin 11 times. It reduces itself in powerevery time you resist it. You resist it with a body plus willpower test.
Mike:Unless you don't have any protective gear around your head.
Nick:Well his contacts.
Mike:I don't think.
Bijan:That is definitely not protection.
Taylor:Did it hit my eyeballs.
Bijan:If you get sprayed with pepper spray, and you're wearing contacts you're not like "I'm fine."
Taylor:Full cornea, like full bleed, black.
Bijan:You've worn contacts before. It fucking sucks when some shit gets in your eye.
Taylor:I'm not a real contacts wearer.
Shannon:No, I am.
Bijan:Yeah, it's awful.
Shannon:Gotten that in my eye.
Taylor:Did the whole cornea, the whole thing-
Nick:No, but unless it's your whole fucking eyeball.
Taylor:It's the whole eye.
Shannon:Your pores, your whole skin is like pores here. Any ducts like yeah you'll get it.
Nick:It like burns under the contact. That's the problem.
Taylor:I did pretty well man.
Taylor:Ooh yeah, I got a five here.
Mike:Okay so it's down to six.
Taylor:Hm. How much damage-
Shannon:What did he get? Did he get six stun damage, or no?
Mike:Yeah, you take six boxes of stun damage.
Bijan:Jesus doesn't that add a modifier.
Mike:That's two wound modifiers.
Taylor:I had 11 and now I have-
Taylor:Now I have five.
Jen:That we're taking out a mage with pepper spray. Oh boy.
Bijan:Well I mean he was close range, what's he going to do. We have a beetle on our team.
Nick:That means five more stun damage, and he takes physical damage.
Taylor:That's correct. All right here's what occurs.
Mike:This is going to be I think the last action before we go into initiative.
Mike:Does this sound fair to everybody.
Taylor:How close are we now?
Mike:We're going to get into initiative and then there's going to be one round that you're going tobe able to see them, but not be at them, if that make sense.
Mike:I want to make sure this feels fair to you Nick.
Nick:The only thing I care about right now is that he's worried about his eyes. I don't care if I doany damage to him.
Nick:I just don't want him to be able to see me, and cut me in a million pieces.
Mike:My thinking here is that you got to try to escape. He got you trapped. You got a shot off, and now he'll get one final-
Mike:Response of [inaudible], and then we'll go into initiative.
Mike:What if Jast gets like basically a combat round of action.
Taylor:He takes it full on it the face. He looks at the boat and when he turns back to you, boomspicy boy. What was the name of it?
Taylor:Pepper boy. He takes a full face of the caliente copper boy right in the face. His hands goto his face, and instinctively, in his subconscious mind pushes you away. He doesn't evenknow how much, just sort of hits you with the levitation spell. His will extends youfurther away from him. He shouts, "[Vornoff]."
Mike:Directly next to Jast you see burning up from the bottom a large flame, and as it grows yousee that it actually fills and becomes the shape of a Mastiff. That is semi-transparent, anda flame.
Taylor:In the name of the watchers of the tower to the west I command you stop the boat.
Mike:You see a giant spirit dog take off into the center of Jast Reclamation. Luxe you are throwninto the water. You are just treading water now. You luckily have missed a giant spikypile of sheet metal, but yeah you're soaking wet.
Nick:Quickly I double check to see where the jet ski is. I know I drove the jet ski up to thetugboat.
Bijan:It was like employee parking.
Nick:Yeah, well I had to. I mean I got on the jet ski to get to the tugboat. The jet ski is somewherearound here, but I just don't-
Mike:Just ask me how far away from the jet ski you are.
Nick:How far away am I from jet ski?
Mike:About 50 feet.
Nick:I duck under the water and hold my breath.
Taylor:Mm-hmm (affirmative). Is there a lounge down there?
Nick:I'm hoping there's pie somewhere down there.
Mike:Bijan I have some good news.
Bijan:All right what's your news?
Mike:The good news is that we have another advertiser.
Bijan:Hey, we're talking money, right? This is money, this is how we support the show withmoney?
Mike:People like TK so much that they want to throw money at him.
Bijan:They should because he's sexy.
Mike:So, our sponsor for this is episode is Tavour. Are you familiar with this service.
Bijan:I could say that I am, but that would be a lie, because I googled them like 10 minutes ago.
Mike:When we were talking about bad, you had to-
Bijan:Yeah, this actually wasn't ten minutes ago, it was a couple of weeks ago. I have been struckby the proposition that I see before me, but you can tellme about it.
Mike:So Tavour is a beer delivery service. What you do is you build what they call a crate ontheir website, and you choose the beers that you want, and then you have them ship youyour crate of beers.
Mike:So it's not you might be thinking a subscription service.
Bijan:You don't know what I'm thinking.
Mike:Okay your right I don't know what you're thinking. Can you really know another person?
Bijan:You can't. This is the problem of other minds.
Mike:So, yeah it is not a subscription service. It is a service that allows you to buy crates of beer.
Bijan:I see here, because I am doing some-
Mike:You're doing a matrix perception test right now.
Bijan:Yeah, I'm doing a matrix search really.
Mike:Roll for search.
Bijan:Yes thank you DM. Yeah, I'm rolling for this search test that Tavour only works withindependent breweries around the world.
Mike:That's actually pretty dope.
Bijan:I'm seeing here that you pay for the beers when you add them to your crate, and you shipthem when you're ready. I'm trying to think of what this is like, and what it sounds like isa good deal.
Mike:Good news, even better deal, if at checkout you use the code Fun City you can get 10dollars off your first order of 25 dollars or more.
Bijan:Now that I can get behind.
Mike:And you should because that is what helps us make the show. So if you head toTavour.com, T-A-V-O-U-R, you can check out their beers. Maybe get some beers.
Mike:Maybe type in Fun City, and get a little discount.
Bijan:Throw some money at TK baby.
Mike:There you go.
Mike:[Vornoff's] skills are-
Mike:Assensing, actual combat, exotic ranged weapon.
Shannon:I know so-
Taylor:He can use a [ballister].
Mike:Running, and unarmed combat.
Mike:It can control other animals.
Taylor:Yep that's correct.
Mike:Specifically toxic critters.
Taylor:Mm-hmm (affirmative). Sick bugs.
Mike:It has an astral form.
Mike:It has enhanced senses. It can materialize. It is a natural weapon.
Mike:And then sapient like, yeah. Do you see what its optional power is?
Bijan:I don't like any of this.
Jen:Yeah I know what's this. [crosstalk]
Shannon:I think I know.
Mike:Alrighty y'all we are in initiative.
Mike:Let's roll for it.
Mike:I will roll for Vornoff. TK what'd you get?
Bijan:I got nine.
Jen:13, and then Typhine got 18.
Mike:So did Vornoff.
Taylor:Hmm, the dog shall have his day.
Nick:I got eight.
Taylor:The dog shall have his day.
Nick:Can you not do that?
Taylor:Excel it feels so good though. Try it.
Taylor:Let it sit down over here.
Shannon:I got 13.
Taylor:Sounds like it just- [crosstalk]
Nick:You know what I mean. Roll a 13.
Mike:How much edge does Typhine have.
Mike:How much edge does Jast have, and Viv, and Lash.
Shannon:I have three.
Jen:Viv has four.
Mike:What is Jast's reaction, and Lash's reaction?
Mike:I don't remember what the last one is.
Jen:Rock, paper, scissors.
Mike:Yeah, rush and [inaudible] for it.
Taylor:One, two, three, shoot.
Taylor:Best two out of three.
Nick:Two out of three.
Taylor:One, two, three, shoot. Ooh tied.
Taylor:One, two, three, shoot. One, two, three, shoot. One, two, three, shoot.
Bijan:Oh, no Jast.
Mike:Jen's next first. Okay.
Taylor:Now you guys winded now?
Bijan:Maybe I should've been in the bathroom already.
Jen:I should've of videoed that.
Shannon:That was intense.
Mike:So we're going to set the stage here a little bit, because we've got a lot of things to accountfor. Jast has just been pepper sprayed in the face. Pepper punched, sorry. Ooh caliente, and reflexively thrown Luxe into the water, across the bow of barge that is now basicallyparked in the entry way of Jast Reclamation.
The entry gates of Jast Reclamation, and the exit gates, they are closed. So you're stuck in hereuntil you open those. Gabrielle is piloting the party barge from the distant former parkingspot where it was, and you're going to get there in one round of combat roughly. Soyou're close, but you're not there yet.
After Jast's theatrics, and a toot-toot from the party barge all of the guards have also been alertedto the doings that are transpiring. There is one guard stationed directly above the entranceof Jast. There's that lazy guard that is in the guard tower, and there three others that werearound the perimeter. As far as you know those are the only people who you have toworry about.
The first beings to act in initiative are the spirits, and Typhine is first.
Jen:So the hound hasn't even arrived?
Mike:The fiery purple spirit hound that is the size of a small horse, it's a Mastiff, is boundingtowards the ship, but it will take a turn for it to get there.
Jen:Okay I don't how the spirits roles work. I have all of the numbers for it's body agility, all thatstuff.
Mike:Yeah, you basically can just treat it like a player.
Jen:Yeah, so all the skills and powers, they don't have points associated. You know they don'thave numbers associated with them.
Mike:It is whatever their force is.
Jen:Got it. So this is a force six spirit.
Jen:So Typhine casts concealment on the boat.
Bijan:Did she just make the boat disappear? I don't know. I have no idea.
Jen:So that's a six force, subtracts the number of dice equal to the critters, or spirit's magic fromany perception test to locate the concealed subject.
Shannon:I don't know, she doesn't have a magic rating though.
Mike:This is a spirit of water.
Mike:So, yeah it's magic is force.
Mike:It's essence is force. Yeah all of its skills are just at a rating of force.
Bijan:We're going full water now, everybody is getting wet.
Jen:Typhine was summoned at a force of six, so that means both her magic, and spell castingskills are at six, which gives me a dice pull of 12.
Shannon:Right, it makes sense.
Mike:All right, roll it up.
Mike:So you rolled her limit. You rolled the maximum amount of successes that she can get.
Mike:Okay in that-
Mike:In that case usually you can only cast concealment on meta-human sized things, butbecause you rolled her maximum in this case I will allow you to conceal an entire 250foot warship.
Shannon:Oh hell yeah.
Bijan:I'm like fuck yeah.
Mike:I might regret this later.
Bijan:You definitely will my man.
Taylor:Jast Reclamation is a no wake zone, so if you're going to follow the rules, there's rules. It'sno horse play, no running, no wakes, so you still have to go very slow, if you're followingthe rules.
Mike:Is there a sign that says "People with kids work here."
Taylor:Yeah, I don't come and pee in your pool. What does it say? There's no pee in our ool, keepit that way, and ool of course means the ocean around my island.
Mike:So go slowly boat wise.
Taylor:And don't be-
Nick:I'm a little confused but I'm into it.
Jen:So, Typhine has been previously foaming and now the water just drops completely still, andsuddenly this mist starts to float, and starts to erase where the boat had been. Now it lookslike TK is just on the bow of the ship floating in the air.
Mike:A thick mist envelops the party barge, is what you're saying.
Mike:Okay, dope. We're going to see if Vornoff understands what's happening.
Bijan:So his perception skill plus intuition.
Jen:But this is a minus six.
Mike:So then I guess you're only rolling...
Mike:Does this stack? If Vornoff or anyone else gets seven over several rolls.
Jen:Oh, I don't know.
Mike:Do they figure it out?
Jen:Let me see. The effect last until the target is spotted, or the spirit stops sustaining power.
Jen:It's a sustain for me.
Mike:Then I'm going to say yeah it stacks, and that over time you would add your hits until yougo over the force of the spell.
Mike:So, once you get seven hits against the concealment spell you would be able to see.
Taylor:All right. Vornoff was running along the shore, and then he took a turn and began to runalong the top of the water, and then ship vanishes.
Taylor:He is confused. He stops, standing still on the water, and begins to do that thing where thedogs like sniff around, and look, and they act like this behind them. Treat disappeared.
Nick:Even the demon dog gets [a ruh].
Mike:Viv acts next.
Jen:Really. Amazing. Oh God what do I want to do. Where are we?
Nick:On the invisible boat.
Jen:No I know but how far away are we?
Nick:Line of sight.
Mike:Yeah, you're definitely line of sight.
Mike:Maybe like a 100 feet.
Nick:You want to cook him, cook him from the inside.
Shannon:Oh my God.
Jen:I don't think I can-
Nick:Turn him into dust.
Mike:What you see from the bow of the mist enveloped boat, is you see your teammate Luxefloating, and splashing in the water. Off to the side probably about equal distance as he isfrom the jet ski. Then the long barge, and at the end of it the tugboat, on the other side ofit you can see Jast rubbing his eyes.
Jen:Viv casts control actions on Vornoff.
Mike:Ooh, okay, sure.
Jen:She can see him.
Jen:And he can't see the boat, so-
Mike:Yeah. I think by some people's measure this would be a little controversial, but I'm going tolet you do it for a couple of reasons.
The first is that Vornoff is manifest, so I think that this wouldn't work if he were still a spirit. He'salso distracted. He was sent to do something, and that thing is no longer here, and thatwas the task that he was focused on. That was what was driving him. And the person whohas summoned him, the magician that summoned him is currently very distracted.
In a lot of ways he's open and available to you. If the situation wasn't such an extenuating set ofcircumstances it would be pretty weird to cast control actions on a summoned spirit. So, basically what I'm saying is I'm going to let it happen, don't get used to it.
Jen:I think that's fair.
Jen:Let's do control actions with a force of three.
Mike:These are manipulation spells. They are resisted with logic, and willpower. Here do you want to roll this?
Jen:Viv is quietly watching Vornoff. Doesn't know its name is Vornoff. She's watching the firedog sniff around, and around its feet as it's touching the water it burns it. She winces alittle bit, because she knows it hurts from where she's standing already. She wants it toturn around, and head toward the gate, so she tries to control its actions.
Okay so that is spell casting plus my magic. Oh boy.
Jen:It's one, two.
Jen:Oh no. All right I'm going to spend in the end.
Bijan:Shut the fuck up.
Bijan:Shut the front door. Vornoff bad boy. Bad boy Vornoff. Bad.
Shannon:Oh my God.
Jen:Did he glitch?
Nick:Did he glitch?
Bijan:Vornoff is ours.
Taylor:I'm going to put his nose in it.
Shannon:He almost critically glitched. Right?
Mike:Oh no that is a critical glitch.
Jen:Oh, that is?
Mike:That is a critical glitch.
Nick:I want to rec on and say TK yelled a yeet when the ship disappeared.
Taylor:I want to hear the Georgia R. Martin paragraph on this sorceress.
Jen:Then do I resist drain first?
Mike:Yeah resist your drain.
Jen:Okay, and I got three hits. So I resisted.
Mike:You're fine. Yeah.
Mike:So what I will say is this, you can describe exactly what happens, but let me tell you whatyou feel-
Mike:So that you know what happens. Vornoff from your perspective as a talented assensingmagician who is able to read the ebb, and flow of the magic around them. Who is able topreternaturally understand the magical essence of awakened beings.
Vornoff goes in your mind from being a hunter killer who is hot on the trail of its master's quarryto a friendly open pliable astral being.
Mike:It is as if the disappearance of the thing that it was sent after has confused it to such adegree that it is now completely open to suggestion.
Jen:As Viv starts to seek out the mind and body of Vornoff, she runs her hands backwards into herhair so it looks like it's flying. As if the boat is going very quickly, but it's still not. Shecan see through the eyes of Vornoff now, and very jerkily turns him around, because he isa big spirit.
Mike:And also like a type of beast that you are very unfamiliar with. I think this would feel veryuncomfortable. It's like driving a hotel room.
Mike:It's a little weird.
Jen:Yeah. Viv is really uncomfortable controlling Vornoff, because it is the complete elementalopposite of what she is familiar with. She starts to like sweat a little bit.
Mike:Yeah, just so you know he is an abomination beast spirit. So yeah, very different from whatyou normally do.
Jen:When she takes control she physically recoils. She can very awkwardly puppets him back inthe direction of gate, with the intention of barreling into the gate.
Mike:That is something that Vornoff will do on his next turn. In game turns Vornoff owes youfour more services.
Nick:Holy shit. This is not how I thought this fight was going to go.
Mike:Neither did I before Vornoff rolled six ones.
Jen:Yeah. Wow four services.
Bijan:You own that dog now.
Bijan:It's your dog.
Mike:The next person to act is Jast. Jast you see Vornoff stand confusedly.
Taylor:No I don't.
Jen:No he's too far away.
Mike:Oh no you don't see anything.
Jen:Too far away. Yeah.
Nick:He's also got his eyes-
Taylor:Too far way, and so what I do roll to test this poison in my eyes.
Bijan:It's like body plus willpower or something.
Mike:It is exactly that.
Bijan:Yeah, short term memory baby.
Taylor:All right and I got no hits.
Mike:So it remains at five.
Taylor:So do I add that to my stun track?
Mike:No, so you take damage immediately, and now you just sort of suffer the consequences.
Taylor:Okay right, and I'm just trying to wear it off.
Bijan:So there's just a minus four dice penalty to everything he does.
Mike:Yeah. So because you have wound modifiers, and because you have been pepper sprayed.
Mike:You are bad at doing things now.
Taylor:Yeah, uh huh, I get it.
Bijan:You've been totally nerfed my guy.
Jen:Yeah were you-
Bijan:That pepper punch is serious.
Jen:It's all he has.
Taylor:Fuck yeah. All you fuckers. All right here's what happens.
Taylor:Fuck yeah, you fucked with the wrong fucking mage.
Bijan:Hmm, you should remove some of those dice buddy.
Taylor:How many am I minus-ing from my magic casting.
Mike:Well tell me what you want to do.
Taylor:Vornoff is almost out of his mind. I mean that Jast has sent his demon off to accomplish amission, and is not thinking about it. His face is puffing up with the reaction to the toxin. It is stinging his eyes, and his lungs.
He reaches into his vest, and grabs a small piece of some sort of substance. It's wrapped in cloth, and the cloth falls away. When the cloth falls away those of you that can see him sees alump of an ore in his hand shimmering in an un-placable, iridescent purple hue. It isoctarine, the color of magic.
He has in his fist a knob of oracalcum, and he squeezes it, and white light explodes from his handas he channels it into pure mana, and casts a tidal toxic wave with 12 force.
Mike:I'm going to say-
Taylor:Directly ahead of him at the boat, and Luxe. He is blindly lashing out with the biggestthing he's got.
Mike:Okay just quick point of order. Do you mean force 12, or do you mean you are going to usethe oracalcum to raise your limit to 12?
Taylor:The limit to 12.
Mike:So then what force are you casting?
Mike:Okay. Got it. Just to describe why this is important. When you use reagents, whichoracalcum is one of those, it allows you to change to limit of your dice pool. The numberof successes you can get. Normally that is limited by the force of the spell, butoracalcum, the use of reagents lets you change it to something else, either higher or lowerif you want to.
Taylor:But the limit here is almost to the max?
Taylor:It's to the max level.
Taylor:So it's like casting a spell through a megaphone.
Mike:Yeah, you can get lots of successes. Yeah, the only danger is that if you get more successesthan your magic limit, your drain, you are going to be resisting physical drain, and notstun drain.
Mike:I'm going to say that you take a minus four dice penalty to this roll.
Taylor:Oh gosh I have to lose four dice. I only get to roll 14 dice.
Bijan:This is pretty serious everybody. Good thing I have a plus one.
Nick:This is toxic wave?
Bijan:Plus one damage was just-
Mike:Okay. Just resist your drain really quick.
Nick:I hope you die.
Mike:Looks like you got one.
Taylor:I'll take one.
Taylor:I just spent like a 150 thousand [new yen].
Taylor:A poison wave of shit, and a boy in the water I can't see on the other side of a tugboat.
Bijan:Wait, is the guy in the tugboat fucked?
Taylor:We're about to find out.
Nick:What about he just wakes up. Oh boy I thought I was dead, but here I am at work.
Bijan:And the boat just melts.
Jen:Wait a minute. What about the guards?
Mike:Yeah we're getting there.
Nick:Are you going to melt everything?
Taylor:Okay so he is unleashing this big wave of toxic acid directly in front of them, but he'sblind, he can't see. He just knows somewhere out there in front of him is thismotherfucker that sprayed him.
Mike:Do we have a D-8.
Bijan:You on date.
Taylor:I'm rolling the D-8.
Mike:Okay. I have just decided, which direction Jast is looking.
Bijan:He just got an eight though.
Mike:Yeah, if he had rolled in the middle of range then he would have accidentally got turnedaround, and destroyed his own business.
Taylor:I did a whoopsie.
Mike:Through Jast's blurry vision he does successfully cast a giant toxic wave, and it does goroughly in the direction of both Luxe, and Vornoff, and the boat. It's big, and the area ofeffect is quite large. Jast tell us what it feels like, tell us what it looks like. Describe thescene.
Taylor:Imagine all the hate, and resentment, and malice, the insecurity, and the embarrassment ofan entire human life focused in a toxic burning wave of shit, and piss. As high as amedium sized construction crane. It lifts the barge, and tug, and it comes crashing downon the things beyond it.
Mike:Luxe please roll your reaction plus your intuition.
Nick:Oh, fucking hell.
Jen:Oh my God.
Mike:Random guard who was in the guard tower, and has been watching this unfold will also rollhis reaction plus intuition.
Taylor:Please don't call OSHA.
Nick:I got two.
Bijan:Oh no Nike, Nike Bolton.
Bijan:First you have to pay respect.
Mike:Nike Bolton standing on the edge of the opposite side of the built out portions of Jast. Just afew feet away from the guard tower, stepping out to see what all the commotion is. Tosee if there's anything he could do to help. Is suddenly caught in giant acid wave thatcruises past the barge, past the guard tower, past him. He gets knocked into the water, andyou hear him just scream as his lungs fill with water, and he sinks underneath the barge.
Taylor:And sizzles all the way down.
Bijan:Yeah, we got one kill. I'm going to count that one in Luxe's kill column.
Mike:As he sinks to the briny depths you hear him go "I was actually a pretty nice guy. I neverdid anything wrong."
Taylor:I don't know about that, the alcohol consumption, the capitalism.
Mike:Luxe you got two hits on your dodge.
Mike:We're going to see what happens to you.
Shannon:Oh my God.
Nick:I shouldn't have taken the mask off.
Mike:What is the armor rating of your vest?
Nick:The armor that I'm using from Balto is nine.
Mike:I'm going to be charitable and I'm just going to say that this round your armor is completelydestroyed.
Nick:All of it.
Bijan:Is he naked? Is he just naked now?
Mike:I'll let him decide that.
Bijan:Is the booty out?
Nick:My booty's in. I'm still in water so this giant wave, which I can't really see until the tugboatis thrown over me. Then I see a lot of mist-age of vomit acid slurry is coming at me, Ithrow my arms up over it. I have two pieces of armor basically, the armor that Balto waswearing, and my armored gauntlets.
The acid covers all of my gauntlets, and most of my coat that I've got a little bit out of water. Inshielding myself I hear and smell burning hair, and burning cloth, and I just immediatelytake both of them off. So I'm shirtless, I have my pants on. I have a little bit sort of someBalto's hands, or hand make up, and latex still on my hands.
Mike:I think that's all melted off.
Nick:Yeah, I take that all off as well. I basically shirtless, and all of my armor is gone. I'm lookingaround hoping that they'll come, and help very soon.
Mike:The giant wave of acid crests, and breaks just before the hidden ship, and splashes a little bit through the mist onto it, but does not make full contact.
Bijan:What I wanted to know is what happened to the guy in the tugboat.
Mike:Nothing as far as you know.
Bijan:But did the tugboat melt. Like what happened to the tugboat?
Shannon:He saw the tugboat go over him.
Taylor:Yeah, the tugboat took I would say the brunt of the acid damage.
Mike:Oh yeah do we want to say that?
Bijan:Yeah because then how-
Taylor:Well I mean yeah.
Bijan:Then it wouldn't have hit our ship, right.
Mike:Sure I guess that's true.
Mike:As the acid wave rises it also completely soaks the tugboat, and the now empty barge. Youcan hear some of the metal of the barge crinkling, and disintegrating in the acid stream. You can hear the sizzle of the boats wooden frame, as it sort of buckles and shrinks in theacid.
You know nothing about the man inside, but what you do know is that, that boat has been tossed, and has now seen some pretty serious action.
Bijan:Fuck that guy.
Mike:He's probably not doing well.
Bijan:He's going down with the ship, huh. Interesting.
Mike:Lash is next.
Shannon:Okay I'm thinking that I should try to get Luxe out of the water-
Jen:And open the gate.
Shannon:Or should I go and open the gate.
Nick:Isn't Vornoff going in and charging the gate.
Bijan:He might not-
Shannon:We don't know if that will work.
Bijan:He might not open it. Yeah.
Shannon:Yeah, I could go to the gate, and try to hack the system to open the gate. This is what Icould do.
I could grab Luxe, and then get him to the gate.
Jen:To the watchtower where the controls are.
Shannon:We might get shot at by guards. I don't know do you think I should just go hidden.
Nick:If you're hidden I can as a free action just tell you what real quick. I saw the whole thingabout how they open the gate.
Nick:There weren't any fingerprint sensors or anything like that, so I could just tell you what Isaw, so you can open the gate.
Shannon:Is there a way for me to jump off. I guess I could do it. A gymnastic move, and runtowards the-
Shannon:I only do clam flips.
Mike:Yeah, I would say if you want to roll gymnastics for leaping and bounding across all of theobstacles in front you.
Mike:You know the bits of water, the piles of metal. All of the gunk of garbage. If you do well onthat you can just have expertly flipped your way over to the guard tower. You're closeenough.
Shannon:Four plus six plus two for natural athlete, which makes it 12.
Shannon:Bless my hand, they're disgusting.
Jen:Yeah, you wash those die after this.
Shannon:Roll a 12. Really. I really did it. Holy shit it's seven.
Nick:This is Olympic's material.
Mike:High up in their perch the three guards that are on the catwalk that are moving towards theirboss to defend him, look down upon the commotion they see a boat become enveloped inmist, in a way that challenges all of their perceptions.
Out of that mist comes flipping the most graceful orc they have ever seen.
Shannon:They can't see me though.
Mike:Oh, that's right you're invisible.
Nick:That's the whole point.
Taylor:Just your head.
Shannon:Yeah, just my head. I take off the mask just for this. A head floating.
Taylor:Well you said like Brittney, and it did not cover her head.
Taylor:One of them thinks to themselves, "What's the deal with that orc head. I ain't never seen abouncing orc head. Ooh it's bouncing real pretty."
Mike:Yeah, if you want to describe what it is you do. You get over to the guard tower in yourturn. It takes your whole turn, but you're there, and if anyone could have seen it theywould have been extremely impressed by it.
Shannon:Right. It's like I perform this insane action, yeah I could be in the Olympics. Then I doit, and then I look around, because I love attention. I'm like "Oh wait, I'm invisible.", andI'm really fucking pissed off about it, but I continue to the watch tower.
Bijan:How far away is the ship from Jast, and Luxe?
Mike:You're getting closer at the end of this round. After Luxe acts.
Mike:You will basically be in the front bay.
Bijan:Okay so I can't really do anything from here, so maybe...
Mike:Well I mean you guys haven't done a lot of looking around as far as wireless connections, ornetwork things.
Mike:So if you want to see what's up. You haven't really checked to see anything about thesecurity system, or whether or not anything is wireless.
Bijan:Yeah, no I was going to say. I see Lash flipping towards the gate, very gracefully. I see herflip off the front of the boat, and I'm like "Ha, interesting." I figure she's going for thetower, so I'm like "Well if I could beat her there, it'll be using the matrix."
Mike:Some healthy competition.
Bijan:Some healthy competition. I want to take a free action, and be like "I'm going to beat you tothe gate."
Mike:Bold. I love it.
Shannon:Lash says "Oh, I don't think so."
Bijan:I think I'm going to try to do a hack on the fly. Something like that. So I guess I'm going totry and hack the control tower.
Mike:Yeah, so from you are you can see a couple of icons that indicate that there some things thatare not somehow running quiet. They just-
Mike:You know. Now that you are sort of focusing and looking for weak points. A lot of the stuffthat controls the gates, and other security systems, it's just kind of there for you to interactwith. All you need to do is convince it that you have to right credentials.
Bijan:Beautiful. So I'll do hacking plus logic so that's already four. Plus because my watch is stillfive, so that's nine. What is it like every hit you get one mark or something?
Mike:If you want to roll for multiple marks you take a-
Bijan:You take a penalty.
Mike:Take a penalty. I mean, you know let's see what happens.
Bijan:All right, cool. Oh yeah.
Bijan:Oh yeah that's five hits. Five hits won one.
Mike:You managed to get one mark on the computer system that's in the guard tower.
Mike:With one mark you can not raise the gate yet, since that is a simple action, and with onemark you can only perform a free action.
Mike:It would allow you to read the tip of the day.
Bijan:How many tips of day can I read?
Mike:It's just one. It's the thing where it's like-
Bijan:Okay I'll read one.
Mike:Okay. Taylor what do you think the tip of day would day?
Bijan:What does Nike Bolton see like every morning. He's the one who's going to see thismessage. What tips is Nike Bolton reading every morning.
Taylor:If the eagle wants to reach the top of the mountain all it must do is ask the wind.
Bijan:TK fucking loves this.
Taylor:For a ride.
Bijan:TK fucking loves this. This is everything he's ever wanted.
Bijan:It's a pro tip.
Taylor:Even the super user must read the gate manual every once in while to forget... I don't know.
Bijan:Wait is the eagle the super user?
Bijan:Is the wind the manual. This metaphor is really strange.
Taylor:I tried to make it a pro tip about the gate operation, and it didn't work out.
Bijan:TK is just pumping his fist as he's hearing this, because I assume it's read out loud at thispace.
Taylor:Where was I? This is part of it.
Mike:You were at having nailed it.
Taylor:You realize you can scroll up to see more.
Bijan:Yeah. So TK is just like "Oh fuck yeah.", and he tries to get another one.
Mike:Sure we'll see say there's one of those-
Bijan:Just like an-
Mike:Like next tip.
Mike:And you can uncheck the thing that says show at startup.
Bijan:Yes. Give me one more computer.
Taylor:The only zen at the top of the mountain is the zen you bring with you.
Mike:They're only mountain tips.
Bijan:It turns out these are-
Taylor:Sponsored by Mountaintop brand gates. Come on in, and by in we mean up.
Bijan:TK is astonished by this. I think he takes a screen shot of the last one and sends it to thewhole team.
Mike:I think they're all inspired, and confused.
Bijan:I'm pretty sure they're still busy somewhere.
Taylor:And thinking about where they need gates.
Bijan:Look TK takes his time.
Nick:Luxe is covered in acid right now, wondering if this is the last com he'll ever receive. Whilehis whole armor has melted off of him, and he's in the water in front of the most powerfulmage he's ever seen. He's like "I called for help, what are you guys doing? I could get thegate. I told you I could get the gate. What the hell are you doing?"
Bijan:TK radios back and says "Uh, Bird Two it's just a healthy bit of competition. Over."
Nick:I'm glad you guys are having fun. This shit hurts. I am now on. I ask Viv to show me theboat, and I'm doing my damnedest to get to the boat as quickly as possible.
Mike:So tell me what you want to do.
Jen:Are you swimming or running?
Mike:Yeah, are you trying to swim, or are you trying to get up on the dock?
Nick:Well let me just look around. Whatever I can see is the fastest way.
Mike:Yeah so you're close. You can actually clamber your way up to the middle dock where theguard tower is, which would basically put you face to face with Lash. She's going toarrive basically as soon as you get up out of the water.
Nick:I see so I'll be up on the dock right by the guard tower in the front, if I go that way.
Mike:Across the barge from where Jast is currently standing.
Nick:If I did that would I be getting further from the invisible boat that's coming towards you?
Mike:No you would be getting closer.
Nick:I'm getting closer. Okay.
Jen:Point of clarification. The spirit can actually allow anybody.
Mike:Oh, that's great.
Jen:So subjects can see each other if the spirit allows it.
Nick:Can the spirit make me invisible or do I have to-
Jen:No, no, no she can make you see it.
Nick:Okay. So when that happens-
Jen:You just get into position.
Nick:Can I get to the boat in this turn or not?
Mike:Yeah, you can get to it. I don't know that you would be able to get on it, but yeah.
Nick:Would I be covered by it. I'm completely defenseless right now.
Mike:I see what you're saying.
Nick:I can not be exposed to this mage again or I will die.
Nick:Like there's no way around it. That's my priority. That's all I can say is that I'm just trying toget to the boat to get invisible, and get protected.
Mike:Tell me that you got out of the water, and you book it towards the boat.
Nick:I get out of the water, and I book it towards the boat.
Mike:You're on your way. As you get out of the water you just blast past Lash, like almostshouldering her out of the way. She's coming towards you, and you're just paying her nomind.
Nick:Shirtless. Completely shirtless.
Mike:At this moment Gabriel has managed to successfully captain the boat into this big openwaterway, which comprises both the entryway, and the exit point. You're all within... Ifyou wanted to jump off the boat, you could jump into the water, and get to Jast in a turn. Typhine acts.
Jen:She would still sustain the concealment.
Mike:What does Vornoff do? He has just past Jast, and is heading towards the closed entry gate.
Jen:Okay, so I'm looking at spirits of fire. I don't know what his optional powers were.
Jen:Yes. Thank you.
Mike:His optional power is he has corrosive spit, which is if he is manifest, which he is.
Mike:His bites do acid damage.
Jen:Oh my God.
Mike:He is also a natural weapon, which means that he basically just deals extra damage.
Jen:Can he go bite Jast?
Bijan:I would say for fucking sure.
Jen:So, as Viv is still controlling this demon do, and feels really icky about it. She's starting tosweat from places she didn't really want to sweat from. She starts turning him toward hismaster. She could feel the pull of this demon not wanting to do it, but knowing it has to. She slowly makes him open his mouth very wide, and he moves towards Jast.
Mike:Vornoff is going to roll to bite the hand that fed him.
Jen:Yes. So you're rolling
Mike:That materialized him.
Jen:Yeah. I'm sorry.
Taylor:He's probably not happy.
Jen:Don't glitch baby.
Mike:So roll your reaction plus your intuition.
Bijan:Your dog is going to bite you.
Taylor:Because of the poison.
Mike:Oh, actually no, minus six because also you're blinded.
Taylor:Oh no. Wait, no.
Bijan:You did nothing to roll.
Taylor:Reaction plus what?
Mike:Reaction plus intuition. While Taylor is rolling one dice.
Bijan:And no hits.
Shannon:Oh my God.
Taylor:Jast is still rubbing his eyes, and he's a little dazed from converting the oracalcum to mana. He's rubbing his eyes, and he still can't see, but he looks up, and he hears the familiarheavy breath, and snarl of Vornoff.
He says "Vornoff I call upon the watchers of the tower to the west, come to me, attend to carry meaway from this place."
Mike:Vornoff has every intention of carrying Jast away from this place. Just not in the way that he needs.
Taylor:Vornoff what are you doing? Vornoff, no. Bad boy. You bad.
Jen:Oh my God.
Taylor:Put me down. It's sizzling like bacon. I'm doing the sizzle sound.
Taylor:Jast falls on his back on the dock as Vornoff rips at his arms, legs, and abdomen. Thescreams echo, and ripple across the acid water.
Mike:Seeing this in the catwalk the three guards that were rushing to the front of JastReclamation to defend their boss, rethink their life decisions up to this point. All of themincluding the one that was directly above the guard tower, readying his machine pistolretreat into the depths of Jast, into the darkness, and do not act. Viv gets to act.
Jen:So Viv has been standing at the bow of boat, sort of still, and with her arms back like she wasthe mermaid on the front of the boat. She just jumps forward, and uses the edge of boat toslide down onto the ground, using the water mist as a little buffer, and she lands on theground.
Mike:Because you said that you're going to use the water mist, I'm not going to make you roll foragility. I'm going to say like this. You were buoy-ied a little bit.
Bijan:It still counts.
Mike:Lash you're at the guard tower, and you're currently racing TK.
Shannon:I send a message to Luxe, and I'm going to say "Hey, just wondering if you could relayto me. I know you're in a little bit of a mess right now, but if you could re-"
Nick:Do you know that? I told you, and neither you nor TK are acting like it.
Shannon:Listen we're going to get you. It's going to be fine. You're going to be great. You'redoing a great job. You've done a great job so far.
Nick:I don't think so.
Shannon:I just need you tell me how to open up this gate so that we can get this boat out of here.
Shannon:And quickly because if TK beats me to this, I can't live it down.
Nick:Yes are you looking at the terminal.
Nick:Literally you just have to press control F5, enter, enter, and then down, and it's open.
Shannon:The red F5, or the blue F5? I'm not used to doing this manual shit.
Nick:The red F5.
Mike:Physically interacting with this computer terminal is making you a little sick to yourstomach.
Mike:You successfully do the correct combination of key presses, and everybody hears a loudlow creak, as the exit way door starts to lift. Jast.
Taylor:The water witch is coming for me, isn't she?
Mike:The water witch is coming for you.
Jen:Yeah, there's a minus one for perception tests.
Jen:To see her.
Bijan:He's used to the minuses at this point.
Jen:You can't see her.
Taylor:Thanks Viv. He's still fighting Vornoff, right?
Taylor:Vornoff is still at him.
Taylor:Jast is going to pull his sidearm out. The second Vornoff got him down on the dock, he'sbeen trying to get his hand to his pistol. He finally pulls it out, doesn't need to see the dog is right above him. Holds it in his chest, and pulls one off. Pulls the trigger. You knowsometimes-
Jen:That is so sad.
Bijan:I've also seen Old Yeller.
Taylor:Yeah, I was about to say you know time to take old Vornoff out to the woodshed behindthe log cabin. He's been foaming at the mouth, and got real mad at the babies. Is that howthey talk in Old Yeller?
Nick:No, I've never seen it.
Taylor:It takes place in swamp, right?
Mike:It's also featuring entirely gremlins, apparently.
Mike:I want to announce a house rule that we abide by here, which is that-
Mike:In the readying of weapons we do not require that those take an entire combat turn, becausethat would be-
Mike:That would make the game even longer than it already is.
Nick:Although it would only help us because we don't have weapons.
Nick:At least ones that we could use.
Bijan:Yeah, I've done one thing this fight, and it is challenge Lash to a race. That I just lost.
Taylor:Oh, but I also get to try to see you in my eyes.
Mike:Oh yeah that's right. Yeah, roll your intuition plus your willpower. Right?
Bijan:Yeah it should-
Bijan:No, body plus willpower.
Mike:Body plus will power. That's what it is.
Taylor:It doesn't matter.
Mike:Oh it's the same. Okay.
Taylor:Ooh fuck yeah. Oh yeah.
Bijan:Did you resist?
Taylor:It took five away. That's all I had five left.
Mike:That's it, so it's gone. Yeah.
Mike:So now you still have your wound modifiers though.
Nick:And you have acid now.
Taylor:Okay. Okay. All right.
Nick:I just want you to remember you had acid.
Taylor:Can we get in line?
Nick:I got acid too.
Bijan:He didn't have armor anyway.
Mike:So just roll. It's your agility plus your pistols.
Taylor:Yeah, I got it.
Mike:You got it? Okay.
Taylor:He finally gets the gun out of his holster, and he holds at his chest, and he's about to blowhis little demon dog away, and then the poison clears. He can see, and he puts the muzzle, barrel-
Nick:The muzzle of the barrel.
Taylor:He pointed the muzzle of the barrel.
Bijan:He points the barrel.
Taylor:Yeah, he puts the barrel of the pistol right under the dripping acid chin of his favorite littlehell hound.
Jen:Oh, it's so sad.
Taylor:Oh, not great.
Nick:Oh, he got three hits.
Taylor:Oh well, yeah three hits.
Mike:So it's a grazing hit. As Vornoff is shaking his head back and forth trying to tear you limbfrom limb. Jast tries to aim the gun, but he's just really digging in, really going for it. You know doing that thing that dogs do when they have something that they really want to getat.
You manage to get a shot off, and it manages to graze the side of Vornoff's head. Actually you firethe gun directly next to his ear, which warns him off you. So he's now off of you, but youdon't do any damage.
Taylor:Okay. Did he run away?
Mike:He's running off into some of piles of metal that are off near the furnace. I'm rolling forGabe, captaining the boat. At the end of every turn to just make sure that he's doing well. He's done well so far, so I'm just going to have him roll now to angle the boat towards theexit. He's like "No one said this to him.", but he's taking the hint that probably everyonewants to leave.
Mike:He is now trying to maneuver the boat such that it is turning inside the open waters portionof Jast Reclamation, pointing it towards the exit. Okay out of game do you guys want toroll initiative again, because technically we need to roll initiative, or do we want just keepthe same order?
Taylor:I'm fine with keeping the same order.
Bijan:I mean I would do it again, but only because I rolled really well.
Bijan:I don't care.
Shannon:I don't care.
Nick:Let's do more exciting stuff.
Taylor:Yeah let's just go.
Mike:Let's just go for it.
Jen:I like going first three times.
Mike:Yeah right, Jesus. Yeah. Well then in that case Typhine is next. Just to describe this a little bit. In Shadow run unlike other table top role playing games, you can run out of initiative, and so everybody re-rolls to determine a new initiative, order. We're just deciding to keepthe same order this time.
Jen:I think what Typhine will do is break the concealment, so that Luxe can see the boat and geton it at leisure.
Mike:Luxe's boat materializes directly in front of you.
Jen:So the mist that was Typhine starts to sink downward to the bottom of boat, and becomes ashark fin that heads toward the dock that Jast is on, and she casts an elemental waterattack.
Jen:Yes, and that's the optional power, so that's a force of six.
Jen:Plus magic reading.
Bijan:It's going to do six damage. That's what's going to happen.
Jen:Four, five hits. Then the rest of it is magic times two, so 12-P with 8-P of minus six, or six.
Bijan:That seems wrong.
Jen:I don't know.
Bijan:That's the force of-
Mike:If you're reading it out of the book I'm sure it's right. It's just very high.
Bijan:That's the force of like a combat shotgun.
Jen:I mean she had a really high force-
Bijan:Jast is fucking dead.
Bijan:No, there's no way.
Mike:So the damage value is magic times two.
Bijan:With an 8-P of minus the magic, which was six.
Taylor:He doesn't have armor.
Mike:I mean you got to roll your reaction plus your intuition, minus-
Bijan:You just killed him, that's it.
Mike:Now roll your body.
Mike:Jen as Typhine, describe what happens.
Jen:So the shark fin had slowly made it to where Jast was, underneath the dock. So Typhine tookher female body form again, but much larger. She pretty much reaches her hands aroundthe dock.
Taylor:Jast rides himself, and begins to stand up. He takes that gun, and he points right at theboat. You see that on the hilt, the handle of the pistol, that something has been carved intoit. You recognize that same iridescent shimmer, he has inlaid the hilt of this pistol withoracalcum. Through the hand in which he holds the pistol light begins to shine as hebegins to summon a fire ball.
Jen:Until Typhine's arms engulf him from below, and a clap she brings her hands together, andsmashes him.
Mike:In the front portion of Jast Reclamation, what everyone hears is a very loud hiss, as thougha hot coal has been dropped into ice cold water. With this acton Jast Columnar falls to theground. We are out of initiative. I mean do you want to try to save his life?
Taylor:The five people Jast meets in heaven. Episode 58 of patrons only folk.
Mike:You see Jast Columnar collapse to the ground in a cloud of mist, and smoke, and haze. Asthe fire bolt that he was about to cast is completely extinguished, you see color drain fromthe magical material that was inlaid into his giant revolver. He's just there crumpled inthe ground.
Taylor:More like past Columnar. Do I get an edge.
Nick:Dead boy with an edge.
Jen:Dead boy with an edge.
Mike:Dead boy with an edge.
Shannon:That's the episode title. Dead boy with an edge.
Jen:Dead boy with an edge.
Mike:You guys are in free action.
Mike:You could do-
Bijan:We should get Luxe on the ship.
Mike:You can do whatever you want.
Jen:Okay so Viv is still running toward where Jast was, and she is surprised how large thisgesture was. When she usually summons water spirits they're a little more demure, andthis one seems to have a lot of passion. Typhine has a lot spunk and she likes it. Vivbends down to pick up the gun that has been spent.
Mike:It's yours so you can have it.
Bijan:TK is like Bird Two, Bird Two come in. I assume there's a ladder on the side of this boat.
Mike:Yeah, you can throw something down. Yeah.
Bijan:Yeah, and pulls him up.
Nick:Luxe is like "Bird Two here." Based on my research the amount of oracalcum that he usedin the acid spell is worth about as much as we're getting paid. You guys just want to getall the oracalcum.
Jen:Viv looks down at the gun, and says "Oh yes."
Shannon:I'm at the watch tower so I throw the rope to the boat, and then I take off a piece ofclothing, and I zip line down to the boat. In a completely unnecessary fashion.
Mike:I'm going to allow it. Yeah sure.
Mike:We'll say you went up to the catwalk, and like threw a grappling hook.
Mike:Sure that you found.
Nick:It's just like Kevin Costner at the end of that damn Waterworld.
Bijan:Which is what we just did.
Bijan:That was Jast Reclamation.
Nick:This is Waterworld part two.
Bijan:It kind of is.
Nick:Viv you want to ask the dog where the oracalcum is.
Jen:Yeah, can the dog just go fetch the oracalcum.
Nick:Can you get the dog to get the oracalcum.
Bijan:Yeah get the dog to get-
Jen:I think it can search, I don't think it can fetch.
Mike:Vornoff is... You have lost connection with Vornoff.
Jen:Ah, that makes sense. That's fine.
Nick:You have Typhine. She could probably-
Jen:Or we can just go to the dang thing, and go find it.
Bijan:There's probably shit down there, as in people, as in more rounds. That's the look that Mikeis giving me.
Jen:I mean isn't there enough evidence that something was there.
Bijan:No it is. No things are there, it just we are going to have like- [crosstalk]
Mike:You have also sensed from afar what the magical situation is in this general area.
Mike:You know from-
Mike:Yeah, from your case in the joint.
Jen:We have information enough to get a bonus. We can revisit this again some time.
Shannon:I say "Okay Viv, but your mom would love some oracalcum." I think sometimes when Idon't visit my mom in Connecticut for too long, I just bring her back something that I findat the craft fair. It normally is special for her.
Mike:As you make your suggestion you hear another deafening honk from the boat. Gab ishonking the horn again, and you get a message in your closed com that is just the time. You can see that you have about 45 minutes before you have to be at the pin that Uri gaveyou to drop off the boat.
Bijan:Oh, so we have to go.
Bijan:Why don't you cut off Jast's head, and just give it your mental spirit.
Shannon:Whoa Jast's head.
Bijan:Power blade the head.
Bijan:Send the spirit to find the oracalcum, and he'll just go get it.
Jen:I don't think that's the kind of thing the sea wants. How about Typhine controls the wind, andjust helps us along. Maybe it makes us faster.
Shannon:Oh, that's nice.
Bijan:We have engines.
Mike:Yeah, there's no sails.
Jen:There's no sails?
Bijan:There's no sails on this boat.
Jen:I mean I don't know. I don't know something could've helped.
Mike:Try to give you a good current. Sure. Yeah.
Mike:I'll allow her to kind of push you along if you want to do that.
Jen:Yeah, push the water current.
Jen:In the right direction. We'll count that as a service. We only have her until sunrise anyway.
Mike:Another like four hours or so, for or five hours. I mean what I will say is this, you knowcurrently from having been here, and from having cased to joint from afar, that thefacilities that are underneath Jast Reclamation are huge. It's really big. You have seen thetip of the iceberg.
So, if you want to go down into the depths, you know they are there, but you know that it is not asmall undertaking. You have an appointment to keep. What are your priorities?
Jen:Let's just get out of here.
Bijan:Let's just get out of here.
Nick:How much are we getting paid for this job?
Mike:A quarter of a million [new yen].
Nick:Two handfuls of oracalcum is more than that.
Jen:You want to go down there?
Nick:I mean I don't I'm shirtless.
Jen:We're not prepared.
Shannon:Oh yeah I think we go down there, that's a time for a different day. That's not afraid.
Nick:That's a time for a different day. Last shot at best. Let's go guys. Good work.
Bijan:It's time to get out of here. We do some high fives, right?
Bijan:Gabe's got to pilot.
Mike:Gabe's going to pilot. He's going to do pretty well.
The gate at Jast opens, and you feel a sudden rush of relief as you are now able to leave this weirdmetal prison. Even though the cage that is around Jast is full of holes, it's almost likeyou're breathing air anew. As you leave this place you get to get away from all of theterrible rust smells, the burning metal, the burning plastic, and all of that terrible shit thatjust pervaded the air.
Gabe pilots you sort of jerkily through the Brooklyn Archipelago, like tilting this way, and that. It's not a smooth ride. You can tell he's getting used to it, and you can hear him. Heactually talks over the intercom system. Like every once in while they'll be a little quickacceleration, or a slow down, or a too tight of a turn. He's say like "Oh, sorry I'm gettingthe hang of it, so I apologize. I feel really bad, I'm sorry. I hope no one gets sea sick." Iseverybody feeling okay?
Nick:I'm feeling fine.
Bijan:You look great.
Mike:The team departs Sheepsheads Bay, and the Brooklyn Archipelago. They head northwest inthe direction Uri sent them. To the final meeting point, the hand off location on the westside of Manhattan.
They cross below downtown Manhattan, and see the Financial District twinkling off to the right. The bright thick edges of the super structure that supports the rebuilt city just above sealevel.
To their left the Statute of Liberty. Rescued from the depths of the Hudson, and replaced on a newLiberty Island. Closed off to all visitors for decades now, and surrounded on all sides, atall times by well armed NYPD incorporated cadets.
Cruising up the west side the team realizes where their Johnson is sending them, to themonuments. Four massive residential skyscrapers built around the former site of theHudson Yards. Only a few years before the quakes, and floods that leveled Manhattan. They remain standing, soaking in the Hudson, up to their second story. Thanks to theultra stable underwater pylons, their foundation was poured onto. Technology that wouldeventually be expanded several orders of magnitude to become the superstructure top, which rebuilt Manhattan since.
No matter what the city or its engineers say, New Yorkers regard the monuments with extremesuspicion, and fear. If these glass clad buildings survived the quakes, and the floods, thensurely they're either in a weakened state, and bound to fall at any minute, or they'recursed. They remain standing due to some unholy bargain with who knows what astralbeing, or powerful dark magician. Either way everyone avoids them.
The city government for its part has said it's cheaper to leave them up, then tear them down, besides they assure residents they're perfectly safe, just de-zoned, unlivable, so theyremain. Massive, opulent, possibly cursed, and widely ambivalent testaments to city'slongevity, ingenuity, and inanity.
As you approach you can see that's there's a long pier that stretches between the monuments, andat the end of it two people. Your Johnson Uri, and a dwarf who is holding a briefcase. Gabe pilots the boat a little shakily, but confidently to the pier.
Nick:Are we there?
Taylor:You did it. Great job. I knew I could count on all of you. All of you did fantastic.
Nick:We come and get down from the boat, or I do. Luxe comes, and gets down from the boat. Well Uri-
Taylor:You want a towel?
Nick:Yeah, you have one?
Nick:Okay. We got her. In the future it's much easier to get a boat if you know which one you'regetting. Just so you know.
Taylor:He turns to the dwarf, and he says "I am going to do thing."
Mike:So everybody is off the boat, correct?
Mike:The dwarf nods, and boards the boat, very quiet, doesn't say anything.
Taylor:Yeah, you learn all sorts of things.
Nick:Well let's see the money Uri.
Taylor:That's fair point. He puts a hand to his ear. You can see his throat moving. He's inaudiblyusing voice commands to his digital assistant, to move the funds. Bada bing, bada boomas they say in the industry. You just got an account transfer from unknown.
Nick:Okay well thank you so much Uri. We appreciate it. I hope all the rest of your business goeswell for you.
Taylor:There was gravy. Is that how you say it? Gravy. There's sauce on this deal.
Nick:Yes there was sauce on the side, I believe you may have said.
Taylor:I have questions. I receive answers. I give boon, give help. How do you say?
Nick:Yeah, you wanted to know about what they were doing there at Jast, right?
Taylor:Yes, I have questions about what goes on in Jast.
Nick:Yeah. Well look we really appreciate you paying us for the job, but the information aboutwhat's going on Jast is probably worth more than just new yen or anything like that. So ifyou don't want to, you know-
Taylor:I have something nice I think you like.
Mike:At this moment is when Heinrich exits the boat.
Taylor:Heinrich. It's there, it's fine. We have?
Mike:We got it.
Taylor:Ooh, show it to me Heinrich, daddy.
Mike:He throws you the briefcase.
Taylor:I pop open the briefcase, and there's a glowing yellow light. No.
I pop open the briefcase, reach inside and pull out a... How would you describe it Mike?
Mike:It kind of looks like an Xbox power brick, except its got a bunch of wires sticking out of it.
Taylor:Oh, baby this I like. He kisses it, puts it back in the briefcase, locks the briefcase, standsup straight, and says "Now answer, present. You tell me. He makes something down inthe basement."
Nick:Yes he does.
Taylor:What is Jast making in basement?
Nick:I think you know.
Taylor:I need to hear you say.
Jen:Can we end the episode on that?
Bijan:That's it. That's it.
Taylor:Now I promise gift. Ah, here we go. You give me answer, do incredible job, suchwonderful people I love working with. I want to see you again. You have number? Text. Also we just hang out. Now I go. Your gift, you have, you take. He gestures to the boat. It's yours.
Nick:Bingo, bongo. I love this boat.
Shannon:Oh my God, this boat?
Nick:Guys we can live on this thing.
Shannon:This thing has-
Nick:Viv we can get off of your boat.
Jen:Viv sort of celebrates quietly.
Shannon:This thing has awesome music we can listen to all the time.
Nick:I noticed that.
Bijan:TK looks at Gabe, and does the honking thing again.
Mike:Can I stay with you guys? I mean I like you guys.
Bijan:Can you honk?
Mike:I also really like this boat.
Bijan:Can you honk?
Mike:Hey if the price for me living on the boat with y'all is every once in while a little bit ofhonk, I'm on board.
Bijan:Give me honk.
Mike:Gabe sort of like looks off into the distance, and then realizes he can't wirelessly connect tothis boat yet.
Mike:He's like "Give me a sec.", and then he runs back onto the boat. You can see him, his littlelegs running. Then there's a honk.
Nick:Gabe. You're on the boat.
Shannon:Yes we have a new member of the crew.
Bijan:Crew. We have new member of the crew.
Taylor:Well it looks like you all have fun, sing songs, do dance, make honk.
Taylor:Wonderful business dude.
Nick:Let us know if you get anymore eggs.
Shannon:Yeah, let us know.
Taylor:Wouldn't drive this around, it is stolen. Okay I got to go. Bye.
Taylor:Then you realize the entire time he was standing on this two wheel Segway Hoverboard. He and Heinrich just sort roll away.
Mike:It's 2:30 in the morning on the west side of Manhattan. You have a new place to live.
Mike:You are now leaving Fun City. If you like the show and you want to get high quality, adfree versions of each episode, access to our discord, and other fun episode extras. Headover to Patreon.com/funcityventures, and help keep this ship afloat.
If you want to support the show you can also tell your chums about it, or give us a rating oniTunes. We've also been nominated for an audio verse award for best new improvisedprogram. If you want to vote for us, there's a link in the show notes.
Bijan:I am Bijan Stephen, and I am TK. You can find me online Bijan Stephen on Twitter, whichis B-I-J-A-N S-T-E-P-H-E-N. Or Instagram and you should just google that.
Jen:I'm Jen De La Vega. I am Viv. You can find me online at randwiches. That's the wordsandwiches, but just replace the S with an R.
Nick:This is Nick Guerico. I pay Luxe Sight. You can find me on Twitter at N-G-U-E-R-S-H., and Instagram at Nguerico, G-U-E-R-C-I-O.
Shannon:This is Shannon Odell. I play Lash Goodbach. You can find me on Instagram, andTwitter at Shodell, S-H-O-D-E-L-L.
Taylor:This is Taylor Moor and I play all the bad boys. I'm at Taylor.biz.
Mike:My name is Mike Rugnetta. I am your GM. You can find me on Twitter, and Instagram atMike Rugnetta.
You can find the show on Twitter at Fun City Ventures. Fun City was recorded at FortunateHorse, in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. It was produced, edited, and sound designed by me MikeRugnetta. All of the show's music is by Sam Tindle. Our art is by Tess Stone. Our discordmods are Olivia Ghoulan, Kit, and [Kestral]. The voice of Artimus is Molly Templeton.
In search of some much needed calm Vivian Lakewood leaves the team behind, and returns alone. For the first time in a long time to the houseboat Mirage. Sitting on its roof, trying toclear her mind. A cold mist coheres around her, and a familiar whisper pervades.
Jen:And she sits bolt up right, she's actually just sitting up straight on the roof of the houseboat. She sits up right, and the blue of her kaftan starts to fade a bit because she's scared.
Mike:You can see that around the houseboat there's just two concentric crows of water droplets that are just very slowly circling.
Jen:Considering that she's on the roof, this is pretty high, and it's starting to rise toward her.
Taylor:You were lent the power of the sea, and with it your challenges is were met. The seademands satisfaction.
Jen:Viv stands up straight, and she says "I'm grateful for your guidance mother sea, withTyphine's aid we were able to conquer Jast Reclamation. We had clapped him to death. Iunderstand that I must pay up.", as they say."
Mike:Just in front of you in the water of the East River in between the two concentric crowns thatare circling the houseboat. You see basically a little portal open up, as if it is ready toaccept whatever offering you are about to make.
Jen:I did come upon a prize during this last quest. Viv reluctantly shuffles underneath her kaftan, which is starting to fade to an even lighter sky blue, because she's terrified. She pulls outJast's gun.
Mike:I forgot Viv had the gun.
Jen:Yeah. The gun.
Mike:Okay, all right.
Taylor:This offering is welcome.
Jen:Viv sniffs the air a little bit regretting this, but she throws the gun, that's very heavy, with twohands into the portal.
Mike:The water of the portal rushes up to meet, and cradle the gun, and then it slowly descendsinto the gray depths of the water, as if it is accepted ceremoniously, and very carefully byyour mentor spirit. Disappears under the surface. You can see the glint of it slowly fade, and then the two concentric crowns slowly sink, and a cool breeze brushed by you.
Jen:Viv is just like "Oh my Poseidon's Beard.", and her kaftan goes right back to the ultra marineblue shade that it had been.
TC1006889611 (Completed 10/27/19)
Transcript by Rev.com